J profile picture

J

....hasn't updated his profile in over a year

About Me


First of all, I ain't tall, dark, or handsome. I'm average, going grey, and not vain. I'm half pumpkin, quarter monkey, quarter nerd.
I'm a musician, songwriter, horror/sci-fi/fantasy writer, gamer, music listener, movie watcher, food eater, fluid drinker (of the non-sexual innuendo sort), photograph taker, and roundabout layabout.
Currently residing in Torbay, since moving here in July 2004. Lived in North Devon previously, but got very bored with it - although I must admit there's a few mates I miss taking the piss out of. There's just so little to do there!
I've rejoined my north devon band, and now the biggest hurdle to overcome is getting the time to go up there to practice. We have many good songs on the go and we'll be soon working on recording some up with any luck, so watch this space. No, not that one, this - [ ] - one.
Currently working in an amusement arcade as supervisor, so it's less work, more money at the moment (was promoted to supervisor after just 2 months of being there). It's good work, enjoyable. I'm good with my hands, you see!
I'm not gonna say "talk to me", cos that's lame. Instead, lets head out with a pitchfork each and destroy the welsh, salvaging their women, purely for scientific testing purposes.
Favourites:
Food: Italian
Animal: Wolf
Place: Flaked out on the sofa with pizza, booze, and a decent film
Crisp Flavour: Salt & Vinegar
Season: Summer (the girls wear less!)
Weather: Sunshine... although I do like the sound of rain and thunderstorms
Time Of Day: Night. I'm a nocturnal animal.
Instrument: Guitar
Game: It varies from time to time. Half-Life, Unreal, Oblivion, Morrowind, Deus Ex, and Thief are the main contenders.
Non-Alcoholic Drink: There is such a thing? Pepsi max maybe.
Alcoholic Drink: Now you're talking. Somewhere in between red wine (it should be available by prescription on the NHS), beer, and Southern Comfort
Hot Drink: Coffeeeeeeee!
Colour: Blue
PS or Xbox: Playstation all the way baybeh!
Turtle: Had to be Leonardo!
Sports: Motor Racing, cricket, snooker/pool
Joke: I like the silly ones. Like: What do you call an italian with a rubber toe? Roberto!
Holiday so far: Virginia, US. Snowboarding holiday. It rocked!
Dislikes:
Pedestrians, long queues, stinging nettles, marmite, running out of coffee, anything that has turned a sinister shade of brown, having no booze, cold winds, wasps, and boredom (why else do you think I'm here?!?).
Words of Wisdom:
When you pull the pin from Mr. Grenade... he is no longer your friend.
Also:
Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Grammatical Tip Of The Year:
Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.."
10 Have you ever?'s (these things make me laugh)
1. Thrown up on someone?
No.
2. Stolen anything?
Yes, in my youth. Well, I did steal a pen from work a few weeks ago.
3. Cheated on someone?
No.
4. Lied to get someone into bed?
No.
5. Kissed more than one person at once?
Yes. Two rather gorgeous blondes at a work party. Poor old Natalie who witnessed it looked rather gobsmacked.
6. Crashed a car?
I'd need one to crash, so no.
7. Thrown something large out of a fast moving vehicle?
Of course. The old school bus was a missile carrier. Many a pedestrian and road user got a front full of something.
8. Fired a weapon?
Yup. Had me a .22 rifle and pistol.
9. Broken a limb?
No, but I tore a ligament in my wrist. (LEFT wrist!!!)
10. Got into a fight with someone twice your size?
Not a fight, per se. But I've stood up to many rather large people.
..START BZOINK.COM SURVEY CODE
The Ultimate MySpace Survey
Basics
Name: Mike
Nickname: J
Birthdate: April 4th 1980
Hometown: All over the place
Current Town: Paignton
Gender: Male
Looks
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Green
Height: About 5'9"
Weight: f00k knows
Style of Clothes: Jeans, t-shirts, shirts, sweaters
Style of Shoes: Docs, trainers
Most Appealing Feature: Eyes probably, that's what I've always been told.
Piercings: Eurgh, none. Although I had a needle lodged an inch into my foot once...
Tatoos: None, but want.
Family
Mom's Name: Glenda
Dad's Name: Alan
Brothers: 2 half brothers
Sisters: None, but always wanted a younger sis :(
Any Pets?: Not currently
Favorites
Food: Italian... lasagne, bolognese etc
Drink: ... can't decide
TV Show: Simpsons!!!!
Movie: Aliens, maybe
Car: Saleen S7, or the unoriginal Skylines
Band or Artist: ... can't decide
Book: Stephen King - It
Place to Hangout: With my girl, wherever
Can you...
Draw: Not really
Cook: Yeah, if I put my mind to it
Play an instrument: Guitar, drums, piano/keyboard, violin, saxophone
Play any sports: Pool/Snooker
Act: I'm always pranking someone, and that requires a certain amount of acting :)
Sing: So-so
Dance: Hell, no
Shoot a gun: Yus
Fight: I've battered a few heads
Drive: Yus, but not legally
School
Clubs or sports: Rugby
Number Students in grade: f00k knows
Mascot: nyeh?
Favorite class: Umm, chemisty... I liked burning stuff
Favorite teacher: Miss Hill :D
Future Career: Not a career person, I go with the flow
Number of schools attended: If you include colleges/training places... 4
In the opposite sex
Single?: I wouldn't go for someone taken... and I wouldn't cheat (again)....
Looking around?: No, I ain't looking
Orientation: Straight
Hair color: Dark
Hair length: Looooonger the beeeeeetter
Eye color: Any really
Height: Not bothered
Weight: Not bothered
Personality: As long as we get on, I'm happy
Interests: As above
Taste in clothes: Not fussed, but a girl that doesn't show herself off to every john and his aunt.
Taste in music: Any
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend but have a crush on someone else?: No, I'm a one woman man
Have you ever...
Sky dived: No, but wouldnt mind doing
Been out of the country: Yus, quite a few times
Been out of the state: If you replace state with "County"... yes
Skinny dipped: Yus
Snuck out of the house: Probaby when i was young
Been to a beach: Yus
Kissed a stranger: Yeah, but only when drunk
Been dumped: Many times :(
Dumped someone: Yus, a few
Been on TV: Aye, on the news :D
Been on stage: Aye, in bands
Stolen something: When I was young
Been arrested: No
Been shot with a paintball: No, but been shot by a pellet
Seen someone die: Erk... umm, yeah. Wasn't pretty and don't ask.
Been in a car accident: Yeah, linked to above
Something to end it with
What languages do you speak?: Only English fully.
Which ones fluently?: Wouldn't say it's fluent.. rofl
When was the last time you've been in a relationship?: am now
What do people find most interesting about you?: Ask them, not me
What was the craziest thing you've ever done?: Jumped into a water fountain outside a club, or jumped out of a moving car
What was the hardest thing you've ever done?: Took my driving test for the first time. That sucked
Do you like something that people would find weird or funny, name it?: I like squeaky toys :D
What is your AIM or Yahoo screen name?: Have neither :P
Do you have a rubber bracelet?: No
If so, what does it say?: /
What item would you want to get the most?: My own flat... or the Toyota Celica thats on sale down the road
Have you ever been to a Warped Tour?: No
Take this survey | Find more surveys
You've been totally Bzoink*d ..END BZOINK.COM SURVEY CODE

My Interests

I'm sure that's all listed elsewhere on this page... Music, movies, books, writing, games, pool, eating, drinking, gadgets, and spending time with that girl that apparently likes me.

Although, most of the time I end up wasting most of my spare time on this life-devouring computer.

I've promised my baby I'd spend some quality time with her soon, it's about time I got back with her. I miss things like Devil May Cry, Tenchu and Onimusha. The Playstation 2 is a symbol of all that is good.

Lately, following the release of Oblivion (The follow-up to Morrowind), my life has pretty much disappeared into that. When I'm not working or spending time with my girl (which i'd much prefer to do anyway) I'm playing that. If you cherish your life, do not get the game. It'll hook you and pull you in.

I'd like to meet:

I like meeting people that talk. People that actually send messages or leave the occasional comment.

If you're just gonna add me as a friend just as another notch on the myspace bedpost, scratch the idea.

And I've already met the girl for me... so nobody else has a chance :)

Music:

Rock/trance/almost anything that sounds good and has a beat.

Favourite artists include (in no particular order):

Metallica,
Foo Fighters,
Manic Street Preachers,
Green Day,
Airbase,
Rob Dougan,
Astral Projection,
Megadeth,
Andrew W.K.,
DJ Tiesto,
Steve Vai,
Guns 'n' Roses,
Hey Mercedes,
Finger Eleven,
Lost Prophets,
Faith No More,
CKY,
Thrice,
Moments In Grace,
Queens Of The Stone Age,
'A',
Bowling For Soup,
Sugarcult,
The Cult,
Muse,
Linkin Park,
Yellowcard,
Lemon Jelly,
The Offspring,
Nightwish,
Boston,
My Chemical Romance,
Nirvana,
36 Crazyfists,
Nine Inch Nails,
Masterplan,
Black Label Society,
Red Hot Chili Peppers,
Queen,
At Vance,
The Matches,
Burning Brides,
Judas Priest,
HIM,
Disturbed,
Reef,
Autopilot Off,
The Killers,
Gun,
Rammstein,
Aerosmith,
Tantric,
Crazy Town,
Jim's Big Ego,
Rob Zombie,
Bon Jovi,
Atreyu,
Pillar,
The F-Ups,
Lemon Jelly,
A Perfect Circle,
Evanescence,
Trivium,
Celldweller,
Rage Against The Machine,
Live,
The Donots,
Jimmy Eat World,
Lynyrd Skynyrd,
Skunk Anansie,
AFI,
The Scorpions,
Ash,
Husker Du,
Lit,
Skid Row,
Tenacious D,
Masterplan,
Pitchshifter,
Chemical Brothers,
Soil,
System F,
Alice Cooper,
Dirty Vegas,
Primus,
Rainbow,
Bodycount,
Dio,
Bad Religion,
1208,
Slash's Snakepit...

...sorry, my fingers are out of breath now.

Movies:

Horror, sci-fi, fantasy, comedy - anything that's good really.

Lord of the Rings is near my top spot, as well as The Matrix and Die Hard. Love Jim Carrey - hate Dirty Dancing (unless I'm dancing dirty).

I think if i had to choose a total favourite though, and I guess I might be cheating a little here, I'd have to choose the Alien Quadrilogy. Aliens (da second one) is... I think... my favourite film of all time. Alien (da first one) comes a spine-tingling second. To me, nothing beats the atmosphere of these two films.

Also the Predator films, Terminators, and Dodgeball!

There's waaaaaaay too many films I like to list them. Over 200 DVD's in my collection... my pride and joy!

Television:

Simpsons, obviously. An old fave of mine was Men Behaving Badly. I learned many of my adult ways from that program. Such an influence.

Southpark was good in it's old days, and I love Jackass.

Don't watch a great deal of TV any more though - I find it's just way too full of crap. Always have a DVD on instead.

Books:

Stephen King, James Herbert, Clancy, Tolkien, Pratchett.

The books I've most recently read are Tolkiedn - The Hobbit, Dean Koontz - Frankenstein, Dan Brown - The Da Vinci Code.

The Da Vinci Code was fantastic. It was one of those "never put down" ones. Have got Angels and Demons to read next, I'll see if it's anywhere near as good.

It's a good day soon indeed in a couple of weeks - Stephen King's new book Cell is out. Looks pretty good!

To be honest I'm more interested in writing my own stuff. Got a few things almost ready for the "attempted publication" stage.

Heroes:

Homer Simpson, Johnny Knoxville, Jim Carrey.

Yeah, you can see where this is going.

I like nutters.

My Blog

Whatever happened to...

...Dizzy from the old classic "Dizzy" games. A walking egg.   Just wondered.
Posted by J on Wed, 11 Jan 2006 03:42:00 PST

Hissssssssss

Your soul is bound to the Tenth Totem, Yen:The Snake. Yen appears as a vermillion colored cobra.  Heembodies passion, rapture, zeal, anddesire.  He is associated with the colorvermillion, th...
Posted by J on Tue, 10 Jan 2006 02:24:00 PST

Bin men & their relationship with glass bottles

What the hell did bottles do to deserve such rough treatment? Listening to them throw them around and get rid of them it's loud enough to wake up the whole flippin' town. Not the kind of thing that's...
Posted by J on Mon, 09 Jan 2006 03:43:00 PST

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To show the hedgehog it could be done.   Sorry, had to share it lol
Posted by J on Sun, 08 Jan 2006 09:48:00 PST

Well that's good news at least...

Scored myself a new job for one of the biggest Amusement Arcades in Torbay. Back to the old dog, hanging around videogames and fruit machines. I just turned up on friday for a quick chat with them, a...
Posted by J on Sun, 08 Jan 2006 05:57:00 PST

And following that...

This is to all my genuine friends here on myspace. Thanks to you all for your support and kind words. For those that don't know, my mother was recently diagnosed with ye olde cancer of the lungs. It...
Posted by J on Thu, 22 Dec 2005 06:58:00 PST

All you fuckin' myspace nutters

I don't care if you're horny. I don't care if you like it up the jacksie. I don't care if you're simply attention seeking.   Only talk to me if you're genuine.   /end rant...
Posted by J on Thu, 22 Dec 2005 06:52:00 PST

These ungodly hours

It's too early. Yeah, I realise it's 9am. Most folks are up for 9am. But, it's still too early. I'm gonna write to Tony Blair and ask if he can cancel early mornings....
Posted by J on Mon, 12 Dec 2005 01:00:00 PST

Coffee

Coffee is one of the best things ever. Unless you drink out of this morning's cup instead of the one you just made. Then it's cold and horrible. Anyone got a mint? Rancid lollipop would do......
Posted by J on Wed, 07 Dec 2005 12:38:00 PST

Weird... innit?

Been out more in Brixham now more than I ever did when I lived there.  Go figure. Oh well. Now that paycheque has cleared it's time to party. With a capital PART.
Posted by J on Sun, 27 Nov 2005 04:39:00 PST