Friends-list Contributions - send me a message to submit your own!~Allison Bond~
I could write a novel, but it wouldn't do any justice. Who is Joe Nelson? He is sarcastic, inspiring, brilliant, offensive, sweet, passionate, eccentric, romantic, and entirely enigmatic.Joe has a very sharp sense of humor, with a remarkable ability to make people laugh at everything and anything. He tells the best stories and does the most accurate impressions of stereotypes that I have ever heard! Joe can be eloquent and inspiring or opinionated and stubborn- sometimes even a nice mix of both. He sees beyond the surface, and will find beauty and value in almost anything (goddamn Aquarius! :P). He is multifaceted, well-read, and creative, with a penchant for the abstract. Although he enjoys the occasional stint of solitude, friendship is very important to him and he will go above any beyond when someone needs him. Joe has exceptional taste in music, movies, and of course shoes. ^.^ He is amazingly sexy, especially in that orange shirt :P. He makes everything more interesting, whether its appreciating a shared evening in St. Augustine eating wild loquats, or explaining the conspiracist plots of local wildlife.As for me - He is the Joel Barish to my Clementine, the missing piece to my bizarre puzzle, and everything I have ever wanted.
**~April Renee~
super-liberal-fantastico
**~Kyle~
Cat loving hippie (in a good way!)
**~Cheryl~
Hi, my name is Joe. I have good style, and a great sense of humor. You have to have an I.Q. of at least 100 in order to understand my subtle sarcastic humor, and I'm pretty good looking too. I have respect for most people, even though I have a deep seated contempt for the average ignorant narrow minded "I think Bush is doin' a great job" kind of person. I get along with pretty much everyone, but I especially like those people who are intelligent, dark humored, with a healthy level of distrust for all things "established". I love Pink Floyd's music (my stress level will not permit me to rage as hard as my friend Cheryl).
**~Joel Wallick~
You're fucking clown shoes! Piss off and figure out who you are on your own; I swear, you are so fucking needy! Also, two syllables, toupee.
**~Postie~
i remember you as "rene'" and you had the most twisted mind....[www.shavedasianchildren.com] =P
**~Jason Consiglio~
You barely ever call people back, but you know how to hide the gun and run from the pigs. Oh, and you have sexy thumbs.
**~Big John~
Joe will NEVER step foot in Mississippi again.
**~Amy Morton~
I think if you cant come up with a funny "about me" blurb then no one can because you are quite possibly the funniest person I know. Aside from myself. But my jokes mainly involve sex/farts and no intelligent basis what so ever. Where as you can make Deepak Chopra hysterical.
**~Diane Lelak~
A little bit about Joe "don't call me a serial killer" Nelson. Joe is a tree hugging, Bush hating Liberal pussy, in the endearing sense of the term. By Bush I mean the president, as he has no problem with the other kind. Although, he is a little bit gay. Just a little bit. Quasi-Gay. Enough to fulfill my fag hag side. He has a really twisted sense of humor, either that or he's quite good at pretending my offensive jokes are funny. He's quite fond of pussy cats and has openly admitted mine is one of the best he's ever seen, and would like to take it home for good. In his spare time he enjoys reading the bible while trying to grow closer to his personal Savior Jesus Christ. Shit, that last part is a different Joe. Oh yeah, and he makes pre-mature balding look gooooood.
**~Sam~
Fun loving guy with a great sense of humor and is probably afraid to admit that he likes the singer "Meatloaf" ever again.
**~Cristie Gibson~
Wild Turkey, the color green, bald heads are sexy, first loves are always special ;), Summer School?
**~Mark "DJ Kramtronix" Haney~
When I think of Joe, I think of Canadian Bacon, Ford Taurus', black cats named Rev. Al Sharpton, Tofurkey, Chem-Trails, Cleaning ladies, George Bush and Jesus (for some reason).
**~David Grant Sinclair~
joe nelson was created in a canadian laboratory from a nutrient rich solution made from the infamous and "naughty" jingo-bingo plant of the amazonian basin. his teeth however, were sold separately.if you say "bacon", joe says, "now? in front of your MOM!?" and you'd better say, "yes!" bitch.cats like to sniff joe's fingers. he has a daughter that he only carried for seven months in his man-gina. one-a-day supplements for men take him, daily. hoes beg for it, and joe gives it to 'em. and by it, i mean dirty reuben love. i think you know what i mean...joe is like a winter's day that can be compared to a rose - and then kicked in the nuts. repeatedly. he doesn't like to admit that he likes ponies in ways even little girls aren't allowed to like ponies.joe poops cheese. ask your grocer.all in all, joe is an average, normal, i-just-killed-your-granny-to-watch-you-cry-while-i-jerk-it-t
ill-it-bleeds-a-little kinda guy. and i love him. but not like that. but kinda like that.
**~James Giberson~
LOVES CHARITY! Great sense of humor, open, straight forward, moral, pussy lover, great with money, sincere and lastly has a great butt!
**~Laura~
i wracked my brian for an hour trying to think of something clever!! and i've failed... *sob sob* for example, does joe nelson even have a cup of joe in the morning?! how oftne does joe shave his head?? sorry, i guess i have to hang out with a little bit more b/f i can think of anything...ohhh! wait! JOE LIKES PIZZA!!!!
**~Lindsey~
simple: AWESOMEST! u are the bomb digity! for sho my nig!
**~Mandy Hess~
I'm Joe Nelson. My favorite word is fuck. I catch loogies in my bare hands that were intended for trees. I'm currently collecting my short 'n curlies to make the world's biggest afro. I have a fondness for capiTaliZinG letters that shouldn't be to look duMb. R2D2 makes me wet. I once was so furious with a box of chocolate pop tarts that I ransacked it until there were bits of pop tart fused to the ceiling. I am a fucking clown. Fuck Abraham Lincoln. I am a Photoshop junkie (or was). I beat possums with 9 irons. My moobs are real and they're spectacular! I'm Brittany Spears' baby daddy. I am a total girl when it comes to heights and kittens. I let my (ex)wife wipe her runny nose on the back of my shirt when we were riding a moped and a bug lodged itself into her skull via her nostril.
**~Amy "Lynch"~
Joe is a great person that is simply misunderstood. I love him and wish he lived closer, I miss playing Star Wars with him!!! Remember all the fun we had as kids!
**~Donnie Allen~
when I think of joe nelson... I think of all the starving kids in the world who will never know what it means to eat macaroni and cheese at 3:00 a.m. and drink cheap beer with that white trash meal. I think of burnt tire marks across a faded pavement and not necessarily wonder how they got there but just notice that they are there. When I think of joe nelson I get this feeling in my body like somebody hosed me down naked in jail and then locked me in a meat locker with only ice cream to eat. And that's not bad, it's just that little winter tingle i get when i think about him. Joe nelson is the type of man who can wear spandex in a presidential election and win. He's so smart that with out men like him... we might not have the necessities in life, like candles or napkins with corporate logos on them that make us think "hey, i'm wiping my mouth with a napkin with a corporate logo on it." Joe Nelson is a cunning warrior and a good friend. There are things I want to say but can't due to unnecessary restrictions... Like the time he came over and eat dinner and other things happened. But know this... There is a little bit of Joe Nelson in all of us. Whether you let that crazy little time bomb, kazoo playing bastard out of the bag and eat that infamous pie called life. Well... that's up to you. But I can tell you this. You won't regret it."
**~Jessi Allen~
Joe is...thebomb.comThat's right, I said it. *sassy head wiggle*
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