Joss profile picture

Joss

Flying pants in the sky............with diamonds.

About Me

I'm Joss. I enjoy sitting around in the sun and discussing things that will never happen and drinking tea. I also quite enjoy bra suffocation and things that are 'ace'. I also wish I was born into a crime family.
I've been known to pick up a guitar at a few points in my life and some of those times I even wrote a song on it. I'm in a band called Deadshot and I do enjoy the stress it causes. Music controls my life, don't expect me to talk about much else unless it's about having penises for arms or if lizards ruled the world and we were in some sort of human zoo.

I edited my profile with a large dildo!

This is my band, go and add us, we'll have some shite up soon. But add us because we're just the sexiest bunch of fucks that ever existed.

My Interests

It's all about the guitar and trying my hardest to live life without working. So far I'm doing okay.
Also mates, there's nothing better than mates. Except music.

I'd like to meet:

An Australian sea horse farmer and his wife. An alternate version of myself. Like some sort of evil Joss, or something. And Snoopy.

Add this crazy foooooooooo!!!

Music:

Christ, there's far too much to list. Mainly anything that sounds good, I will listen to anything once and am not ashamed of anything I like (except maybe Imogen Heap). Music really does control my life and I am very rarely not listening to or playing something.
The bands worth a mention are as follows: Mastodon, technically one of the best metal acts in the world and just all round brilliant.
Pantera, nothing can really said other than 'wow'.
Led Zep, to be fair, who doesn't like them? They're just amazing.
Pink Floyd, one of the first bands I remember hearing as a kid. They are geniuses and their music will inspire generations for years to come.
Finley Quaye, I've owned six copies of his album Maverick A Strike but he recently told me that he doesn't see any money from it so if you wanna hear it I'll send you a copy for free. It's brilliant reggae and I love his stuff, simple as.
Metallica, pioneers of metal. Not much to be said really, they speak for themselves.
Just for Stevi

Movies:

Anything psychological
Anything funny
Anything that involves organised crime
More recently I've been watching a lot of old public domain horror and sci-fi films, the black and white type with loads of women slapping the sides of their faces and screaming in hysterics.

Television:

I don't watch that much TV any more apart from Neighbours and Hollyoaks, yeah I'm quite sad that way.

Books:

I read a lot but I prefer fantasy and real life essays, usually about drug addicts. It interests me for some reason.
Also, FUCK A DUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


adopt your own virtual pet!

Heroes:

Dimebag has to get a mention here, he's an inspiration and didn't deserve to be brutally murdered.
My mates, I know it's a cliché, but they are brilliant and have helped me out so much over the years, so there ya go.
The guy who thought this up deserves a mention. He defines the blokeish quality of pointless overkill. In his attempt at an easy goal he has gone to extraordinary lengths but beer is worth it. http://www.asciimation.co.nz/beer/ . This is a true heroes story.

My Blog

FUCK YOU GOD!!

This bastard doesn't even exist and he starts fucking wars, what's the bastarding point? 'OI YOU, YOU BELIEVE IN AN EVER SO SLIGHTLY DIFFERANT VERSION OF THE SAME THING AS ME SO I'M GONNA KICK YER HEA...
Posted by Joss on Mon, 14 May 2007 05:11:00 PST

Rant.........

I just visited some girls profile that I randomly added in the early days of my own myspace membership where I thought people used this shit to ACTUALY talk to people (do we remember speech?) to see i...
Posted by Joss on Fri, 12 Jan 2007 08:11:00 PST

a poem about me by claire

Joss, I wrote a poem for you in your deep heat predicament. I hope you like it. It is as follows: He may not be small, He's really quite tall, and he favours the spoon above all. Bu...
Posted by Joss on Sat, 28 Jan 2006 11:07:00 PST

things that cant b eaten with spoons

Ok, to those of you who dont know the story. About a year ago, or so, I came up with the theory that there is no food substace that can NOT be eaten with a spoon and to this day I ...
Posted by Joss on Thu, 08 Sep 2005 08:05:00 PST