First off, I'm Puerto Rican and my package is grande and caliente, OK? I've been kicking ass in Los Angeles County for 30 years now and I don't have plans to stop.
I know you're saying to yourself, "Hey man, the show was cancelled back in '83. What the fuck is he talking about?" This is true, but that doesn't mean that crime is cancelled too, does it? When the show ended, I did not give back the uniform, the gun, or the bike.
I also did not give back the billyclub.
I kept chasing scumbags down the mean streets of L.A. when I really should have been patrolling the goddamn freeways, but fuck 'em. No one tells Francis Llewellyn "Ponch" Poncherello what to do. You see what I did with Sgt. Getraer, right? I had him trained like a fuckin' pack mule. I let him think that he was in charge, but believe me, I ran his ass around the fuckin' block like he was Carl Lewis!
Watch out, dirtbags, because when I catch you(and I will), I will unleash a holy hell on you, the likes of which you have never seen. True, I will not unholster my gun, but I will split your skull in four different places and then have Grossy burglarize your asshole to finish you off right.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
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