What has eight fingers and makes me the happiest girl alive?
THIS GUY:What is there really to tell? I'm not that interesting, believe me.
♥My name is Charlie.
♥ I'm the type of girl who will start laughing in dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
♥ VOTED NO.
♥ I'll probably hate you. So eat a dick.
♥ Yes, there are a lot of fucking shitty pictures--mostly of myself--up on my page. Deal with it. I'm not arrogant or conceited. It's not fucking porn. A lot of the pictures are of friends and me just having fun. The other pictures are just random bullshit that I felt like putting up here. If you don't like it, delete me.
♥ Also, quit bitching that I post a lot of fucking bulletins. Obviously I know that I do, since I'm the one doing it. If you don't like all the bulletins I post, do one of two things: A. delete me or B. choke on vomit.
♥ I'm going to school in Madison for Journalism so I can work in PR.
♥ I write lots of poetry.
♥ I write lots, period.
♥I was nominated Most Mysterious for my Junior class, but lost to some girl of whom I'd never even heard. But I suppose that makes it all the better that she won.
♥Most people suck, in general.
♥ I am single and apathetic. I don't fucking want a relationship. I'm married to the most wonderful, badass man turtle on the planet. I love you, Raph.
♥I've never been known to have flings. I think they're stupid and needy.
♥ Never love a writer, artist, or musician. We are unstable people. We have to be, for the sake of our craft.
♥I'm a hopeless romantic. Emphasis on the hopeless part. [cheers, God, i couldn't be lonelier]
♥I met "real girls" for the first time a few months ago and wanted to stab them in the jaw for being morons. How can guys even stand that ditzy bullshit?
♥I'm most complimented on my eyes and lips. I used to be complimented much on my hair. Maybe I just "have a good personality."
♥ You're repulsive.
♥I dont hate anyone. The most negative I feel toward someone is apathy.
♥ I like cream with my tea.
♥ I once was on a road trip with a friend and needed to brush my teeth. We didn't have any water, so I brushed my teeth with vodka. True story.
♥ I fucking love vodka, but I won't drink mixed drinks. I like my shit double shot, straight up, not chilled.♥ I also love whiskey (though I'm allergic) and gin.
♥ I hate beer.
♥I dont have any weird fixations on cartoon characters.
♥ You'll probably hate me. But that's cool, because I'll probably murder you.
♥I'm addicted to LiveJournal.
♥I'm agnostic.
♥I'm dryly sarcastic and sometimes my sardonic ways make me come off as a bitch. Oh well, pussies.
♥Some people think I'm really, really nice.
♥I choose my friends carefully. I have many acquaintances and some near-buds, but to truly be considered one of my friends, it takes time and a solid inventory of inside jokes.
♥I'd only die for four people on this planet.
♥I have two younger brothers, who I miss terribly.
♥I am twenty-one years old.
♥I hate gossip. Die.
♥I'm honest to a fault.
And contact info: iateyourfamily on AIM. On MSN, [email protected]. And fuck Yahoo. No one uses that shit.
In case you want to know more, read my very personal journal. Just click on the link below.
Read At Your Own Risk
My Poetry LiveJournal
AJ Nordhagen on Heaven Hill vodka: It tastes like a fermented abortion in a back alley, brewed by a crack-head with battery acid and lawn fertilizer.Justin Lakes on fucking a midget: I'd fuck a midget cause I'd feel like I have a huge cock.Tegan Hermann on leaking roofs: Eric, if the roof leaks and gets all over the carpet and floods, you're going to have a water problem.Evan Resch on Gogol Gordello: Turn it back to that last song. It sounds kinda... saucy.Justin Lakes on feeling girls up: Dude, it's not a choice. It's like sex with Kobe Bryant.Brandon Cramm on eating a 26-inch pizza in an hour: They were watching me and told me later, 'Brandon, at one point you paused, took a sip of your water, and had this really determined look on your face. Then you took a bite that was like, a centimeter big.' That pizza was going to kill me. I cannot take 26 inches.AJ Nordhagen on uncircumsised dicks: Meat worm.Jon D. on gutturals: Like Korn?Justin Lakes on Tegan's face: Tegan always looks like she just ate a lemon.Danny Fuckin' Fischer on waiting for me to pee so we could all take a shot togther: I'm fucking sick of waiting for Charlie.Evan Zimmermann on a genre of animation just for me: Jewpanimation.Justin Lakes on coarse panty fabric: I think I got a splinter from your underwear.
Steve Apfel on my greatness: Charlie, you're like sex on legs.Nathan Bell on why we never had sex together: It's a good thing we never had sex. Because then you would have had the walk. You know, the walk of The Banged.Charlie Nichols on rim jobs: I've never licked an asshole.Evan Resch on hookah bars: I went to one once. I hated it. It took way too long. It was so boring. I thought we'd go in for two minutes, hang out. Then like, a half hour later, it's still burning!Logan James Lubbers on New York City: NYC would be pretty entertaining, but it's just the same shit coming at you faster.Justin Lakes on vegetarianism: Even if a hated the way meat tasted, I'd still eat it to show those fuckers what's up.Nathan Bell on little people with regular-sized torsos: Shortie legs people.
Steve Apfel on Japs (like me): Go stick it up your sideways vagina, rice-picker.Justin Lakes on porn: I watch it in my basement with my pants down.Jasbir Singh on floppy vaginas: A woman's vagina should not look like crispy bacon. She needs to iron that shit. Or get it clipped.AJ Nordhagen on Jasbir's drunken wit: You need to go to sleep and wake up with better material.Charlie Nichols on sluts: If you can look past gooey vaginas, then yea, she's hot.Evan Resch on Glenn Spaulding's long story: Dude, stop. This story is way too long. Is there a summary?Charlie Nichols on Nathan Bell's shoes: I didn't ask if you looked gay. I asked if you looked like a faggot.Dung Nguyen on Justin Lakes cracking fetus jokes about Ashley's baby: It's not a fetus is it?Justin Lakes on if I were to get raped: If you ever get raped, call me first because I want to be the first to say, 'Well, what were you wearing?'Eric Zimmermann on Tegan punching me in the nose so hard that I cried: Tegan, we need to work on your social skills.Charlie Nichols on camel toe: I don't care what the occasion or what the season. Camel toe is never in.