Wanker profile picture

Wanker

I am here for Friends

About Me

My page is best viewed in Firefox

The details of my life are quite inconsequential.

Where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanise, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chesnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really. At the age of 12 I recieved my first scribe.

Lal = My Love

Me + Ben = The Parcel Boys!

SAXON = JOKE ACCOUNT

My Interests

A few of my favourite things… raaar…

GENERAL
Lal (my beloved), Music, Old British youth cults (Mods, Skins, Punks, Teds, etc), Video Games, Computers, Film, Wrestling, Fashion, Coffee!, Anything Sex Pistols related, weird teeth, Food, Japanese things, Asian cinema, The colour green, Eeyore, Soviet Ruski, Dancing, Killing the Kennedys, Noodles, World War II, Travelling to far away lands, Hanging out, Karaoke, filth, Scooters, Satire, Pirating copies of Windows and selling them on (Only joking Mr. Gates), Wasting my time by filling out these profile things and wasting YOUR time by making you read them.

MUSIC
Punk Rock, Rock & Roll, Electro, Dub, Reggae, Ska, Folk, Accordions, 80s tunes and more

FASHION
Vivienne Westwood
Nice suits
Bright colour
Socks
A mix of old and new styles
DIY

FILM
Asian cinema
Comedy
Things! See the damn movie section

COMEDIANS
Steve Coogan
Chris Morris
Noel Fielding
Demetri Martin
And many more!

ACTORS/ACTRESSES
Either for one movie or for their entire work, I'm not too fussy :P

Takeshi Kitano
James Spader
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Chiaki Kuriyama
Maggie Gyllenhaal
Thora Birch
and some others I've forgotten.

I'd like to meet:

International women with no body hair

Music:

OLDER BANDS

Sex Pistols, The Clash, The Damned, The Jam, The Pogues, Buzzcocks, Public Image Ltd, X-Ray Spex, Siouxsie and the Banshees, The Slits, The Specials, The Ramones, Subway Sect, David Bowie, Richard Hell and the Voidoids, The Nipple Erectors, Elvis Costello, King Tubby, Dr Alimantado, Lee Perry, Culture, Toots and The Maytals, Big Youth, Augustus Pablo, New York Dolls, Generation X, The Adverts, Pere Ubu, Stiff Little Fingers, Wire, Blondie, Joy Division, Magazine, Devo, Velvet Underground, Madness, The Selecter, Beastie Boys, Motorhead, Joe Jackson, Michael Jackson, Johnny Thunders and The Heartbreakers, Alice Cooper, Iggy and the Stooges, Lou Reed, The Kinks, Eddie and The Hot Rods, 999, The Lurkers, Alternative TV, B-52’s, The Stranglers, AC/DC, The Who, Small Faces, Patrick Fitzgerald, John Cooper Clarke, Roxy Music...

NEWER BANDS

Klaxons, Gogol Bordello, J.U.F., World/Inferno Friendship Society, Joe Strummer and The Mescaleros, Rancid, The Horrors, Le Tigre, Art Brut, Dresden Dolls, Zombina & The Skeletones, Cansei de Ser Sexy, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Hadouken!, RiUvEn, Robots in Disguise, New Young Pony Club, Shitdisco, Lady Sovereign, The Hives, Simian Mobile Disco, Regina Spektor, The Gossip, Flogging Molly, Peaches, Amy Winehouse, Enter Shikari, Dizzie Rascal, The Smashing Pumpkins, The Pipettes, Jamie T, Bellowhead, Prodigy, Graham Coxon, Uffie, The Good The Bad and The Queen, Assemblage 23, Pulp, Bikini Kill, Cherry Poppin Daddies, Hungry March Band, And What Will Be Left of Them?, Hepcat, The Slackers, The Toasters, Electric Six, Marilyn Manson, Soulwax, Beck, Horrorpops, William Shatner, Rammstein, The Capricorns, POLYSICS, Kana, White Stripes, Guignol, Bjork, Balkan Beat Box...

Theres loads more. I cant even begin to list them. As you can tell, music is important to me, so I can appreciate anything that has a lot of heart in it... or just sounds bloody cool.

Movies:

The Filth and The Fury, Battle Royale, Star Wars, Kill Bill, Zatoichi, Rocky, Teminator, Terminator 2, Rambo, Secretary, Ringu, Ghost World, Ichi the Killer, Napoleon Dynamite, Cecil B. Demented, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, SLC Punk, Harry Potter, Predator, Vanilla Sky, Hot Shots: Part Deux, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Commando, Batman, Batman Returns, Brother, Austin Powers, Team America: World Police, Pitch Black, Police Story, Project A, Ed Wood, Serenity, Party Monster...And many more.

Television:

I'm Alan Partridge, Green Wing, WWE, NWA TNA, Spaced, Look Around You, Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, The Day Today, Brass Eye, Saxondale, The Mighty Boosh, The Young Ones, Naruto, One Piece, Family Guy, American Dad, Phoenix Nights, Scrubs, anything with Demetri Martin in, Invader Zim, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Daria, Dennis Pennis, Dead Ringers, World War II documentaries.

Books:

Rotten: No Irish No Blacks No Dogs, QI: The Book of General Ignorance, Harry Potter, One Piece, Naruto, Ghost World, FRUiTS, Fresh FRUiTS, Punk, Burlesque and the Art of the Teese, The Hobbit, Wrestlecrap, The Death of WCW, Bleach, The Demon Ororon, GetBackers, Battle Royale, Johnny The Homicidal Maniac, Squee's Wonderful Big Giant Book of Unspeakable Horrors... that's about it to be honest, I'm not keen on reading.

Heroes:

John Lydon, Joe Strummer and the others in my pictures section.

My Blog

New Pictures

I have lots of new pictures in the My Photos, Me and Friends, Me and Lal, Zoo Days, 80s Party and Totally Wired albums. Yaaaar!
Posted by Wanker on Tue, 01 Apr 2008 04:46:00 PST

MOVED!

I've moved to Liverpool now, yaaaar mateys!'tis rather lovely. Been spending the last few days getting the place more 'my own' and filling it with my crap. I have way too much stuff. I need about five...
Posted by Wanker on Tue, 05 Feb 2008 12:42:00 PST

PICCCCCCCS

I have put up the new pictures from the other day. There's pics in most main catagories.That's all.
Posted by Wanker on Tue, 22 Jan 2008 05:20:00 PST

Updated

My god... for once I've actually updated my page with some new pictures. WOAH!There's new pics in almost every album and a whole new album of the Sex Pistols gig so check those out (I'm not a tosser ...
Posted by Wanker on Wed, 14 Nov 2007 03:01:00 PST

Lack of Usage

I realise I haven't used this thing much lately (Myspace in general, not my blog) but I'm just doing my usual 'taking a break' thing that I do. I shall be back, in time and I'll respond to you all the...
Posted by Wanker on Mon, 09 Jul 2007 12:00:00 PST

Stay Free

We met when we were at school Never took no shit from no one, we weren't fools The teacher says we're dumb We're only having funYou know we piss on everyone In the classroom When we got thrown out I...
Posted by Wanker on Tue, 29 May 2007 02:42:00 PST

Return of Moi

I'm using MySpace again, good god!Replied to a few messages but I also left quite a few as they were MONTHS old. Don't feel annoyed if I didn't reply, it's just I really needed a clean-out.Right then,...
Posted by Wanker on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 09:00:00 PST

OH MY GOD!

I actually edited my page for once. Praise the Lord! (who is me ).
Posted by Wanker on Thu, 28 Dec 2006 02:24:00 PST

Photastic

Lal has upped and gone once more. Returned has she to the ancient lands of the Kingdom of Liverpool. A long journey 'twas and many perils were faced. Prior to this, we took photographs. Commence perus...
Posted by Wanker on Sun, 23 Jul 2006 01:12:00 PST

Trechery

Argh, my nephew decided to steal my glasses.He should be nice to his uncle Jon :(
Posted by Wanker on Mon, 10 Jul 2006 04:56:00 PST