Mike

I have this chronic nail-biting problem that has plagued me since infancy . I was voted "Class Nicest Walk" senior year of high school. People always say I am one of the fastest eaters of all time . If you wonder whether a "Brady Bunch Greatest Hits" cd exists... wonder no more... I own it. Both my ear lobes are connected to my head. I have worn Kangols before Slick Rick ever bought one...My mom buys me one in a different color for Christmas every year as standard procedure. In the summer I get REALLY dark, but in the winter I get REALLY white. In my early teens I wore breifs, in my late teens I wore boxers and now I wear boxer-briefs. I will never fight a man with a full beard . I refuse to acknowledge lactose-intolerance as a "medial condition", I think it simply means you fart when you eat cheese. I think Mos Def and Musiq are good, but De La Soul and Stevie Wonder are REALLY FUCKIN good. I know everyone thinks they have "ugly" feet, but mine are really fuckin ugly. I curse like i live on an oil rig . It really irritates me when people put orange peels in their mouth and smile . I detest generic tatoos (i.e. Dolphins, rainbows or any copyrighted charater). I hate office lingo, but "It is what it is" has gotten me out of alot of shitty predicaments. I think hockey is lame. Have you ever seen pictures of the fattest man in the world in the Guiness Book of World Records. Couldnt you just put some pads and skates on him and lay him on his side in front of the net? You cant hit a puck into a goal with no opening, and its not like the obese goalie would mind...think of all the honeys and money he would get. Everyones happy...