Captain Paradox profile picture

Captain Paradox

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

About Me

Animals like to bite me or hurt me, especially insects and stingray. Dogs are cool though, they like me. They think im pretty cool, one told me once......I constantly injure myself doing stuff.....I have brief spells of bad luck in life.....I like the word "rubbish"......I like to watch people and the world go by in foreign countries. I like to figure out what makes people 'tick'.....I love to experience new things and believe variety is indeed, the spice of life.You will notice i am half naked in some of my pictures, I like to take clothes off in open spaces when its hot. At least the background is interesting even if i am not.......I really hate chavs. I try to run them over in my car...... I also hate my car, it costs me too much money....I quite often shout at the TV when something ludricrous comes on, I can piss like a race-horse..... When i get angry i can shoot wasps from my eyes.....I am extremely exothermic...people like to sit near me in the winter to keep warm....One of my ancestors was a true Pirate of the Caribbean: Captain Richard Sawkins

My Interests

Travelling (I wont bore you with the details, if you want to know some of the places ive been to, just ask), pirates, smirking, randomness, intimidation, straight vodka, acting the goat, being vulgar, scuba diving and the ocean, trekking, mountains and forests, jungle, tropical islands, wide open spaces, wasted weekends, avoidance, friendly quadrapeds such as dogs, worrying my mother, pointing out retards and things that are rubbish, booze, photography, steamy sex, playing bass and rhythm guitar, raising my eyebrow to ludricrous remarks from strangers, meeting new people, wildlife / animals are a constant source of wonder and amusement for me, especially sharks. Swearing is good, i nearly forgot that one............

I'd like to meet:

Tim the Enchanter. Father Jack. Sir David Attenborough. I would like to meet Borat and Ray Mears in the same room at the same time....Anyone who is open minded, not easily offended and willing to take a few risks in life. People who live for the moment and not just for materialistic things. People who i can sit with in a coffee shop and watch other people and laugh at the ones who think they're really "cool"........Do not just add me just to expand your friends list to make yourself look hugely popular, with no intention of conversing with me, only genuine people please. I keep my list small and delete those eventually, if they make no effort. Im usually in here (Myspace) during the day, as i get away with blue murder at work. The IM on myspace is absolutely rubbish though i reckon it only works 10% of the time. Rubbish. Please dont expect me to accept a friend request without some form of introduction....I would like to meet people who love their liquor and love talking absolute complete and utter toss....and that stunning spanish looking girl from that rubbish film, boat trip. Marvellous.

Music:

Rock, electronica, prog rock, metal, house, etc etc etc. Bands; Led Zeppelin, Pink floyd, The Doors, Bowie, Jimmi Hendrix, old U2, Queen, Coldplay, Roxy Music, Vangellis, Jean Michelle Jarre, Type O Negative, Tool, Placebo, Radiohead, Sabbath, old Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, old Metallica, RATM, LOA, NIN, Prong, Ministry, Janes Addiction, AC/DC, The Cult, The Dead Kennedys, Porcupine Tree, A Perfect Circle, the Cure, OPETH, Fear Factory, Faith No More, Alice In Chains, Slayer, Machine Head. All depends on my mood...... Public Enemy, Run DMC, Chemical Bros, Massive Attack, Orbital, Portishead, Paul Van Dyke, Paul Oakenfold, Aphex Twin, Sasha, nostalgic old skool ('91-'94) jungle music from when i was in my mid-late teens and high on drugs......I cant stand garage.

Movies:

All Monty Python Films, Blue Velvet, Jaws, Easy Rider, Scarface, Taxi driver, Big Lebowski, Wild At Heart, Trading Places, Bladerunner, Aliens, Withnail and I, Long Good Friday, Get Carter (no, not the Stallone remake for christs sake), The Good, The Bad and the Ugly, Carlitos Way, Romeo Is Bleeding, The Killing Fields, Evil Dead 2, Bram Stokers Dracula, Silence Of the Lambs, Manhunter, Kevin Smith films, The Sunshine Boys, The Odd Couple, The Hill, Pulp Fiction, City Of God, Jackie Brown, Seven Samauri, 12 Monkeys, Schwarzenegger films for comedy value (Conan, Commando, Predator, etc), Mystic River, This Is Spinal Tap, Some Manga...

Television:

when i was a boy, i used to like; Kenny Everet (Cleo Rocos was one of the first women, along with Linda Carter ((wonder woman)) to inspire me with very rude thoughts), dungeons and dragons, Rentaghost thundercats, battle of the planets, willo the wisp, Benny Hill (more rudeness), the littlest hobbo, the hulk, monkey, the red hand gang and wildlife docs with Sir Dave........... More recently, Rory Bremner, Brass Eye, The Day Today, The Office, Fawlty Towers, Alan Partridge (cook pass Babtridge), Black Adder, QI, Father Ted, wildlife docs, RAY MEARS!!! National Geographic, League Of Gents, Jeeves and Wooster, allo allo, Shooting Stars, Red Dwarf series 1-6, PEEP SHOW! Black Books.

Books:

Count of Monte Christo, His Dark Materials, Brother Number One (Biography on Pol Pot), Don Quixote, Techno Pagan Octopus Messiah, The Devil Rides Out, The Wasp Factory, Country Of Last Things, Little Green Man.

Heroes:

Sir David Attenborough, Bill Hicks, Derick and Clive, Captain Richard Sawkins, Monty Python cast, Angus Young and Bon Scott, Jimmy Page and Robert Plant, Alec Guiness, BORAT.

My Blog

Lies

It says in my profile that: im 5'11" and athletic build. This is no longer true. I am 5'11'' and out of shape. Im forming a pot belly (I have joined a gym, hopefully it will go away fairly soon). ...
Posted by Captain Paradox on Thu, 03 Aug 2006 08:17:00 PST

Scuba Footage

On holiday in Mozambique, in April...some footage from my Sony W7 (obviously using underwater housing)Manta dancingManta from aboveWhale shark...
Posted by Captain Paradox on Sun, 02 Jul 2006 06:01:00 PST

Pics from Ventura / Santa Barbara

Went to a Biosensors conference, Ventura, CA in March. Took a few pics.......
Posted by Captain Paradox on Sat, 15 Apr 2006 11:10:00 PST

Questions and answers

A friend of mine was bored and set out some questions for me to answer, when i also at some point became bored...i decided to post them here. 1. Why are dark horses an outside bet? Does dark ...
Posted by Captain Paradox on Wed, 22 Mar 2006 07:16:00 PST

Some pics from Kerala, India in Dec 2005

...
Posted by Captain Paradox on Wed, 22 Mar 2006 04:19:00 PST

Will be spending more time here from now on....

Hey. I haven't really been particpating much here for the past year since i started my new job.  Im going to try again.  This means sacrificing a lot of time on a certain message board i fre...
Posted by Captain Paradox on Wed, 22 Mar 2006 03:58:00 PST

Leaking "friends"

Hmm, i seem to be losing friends at some rate here....prob as I don't really make the effort anymore since leaving lonely London.  Oh well, the most important people are still here.....funny thin...
Posted by Captain Paradox on Wed, 31 Aug 2005 01:35:00 PST

Im a Hero.

Just got an email from one of my lady friends....... "Hi babe. Just wanna tell you that I had the strangest dream last night where you saved my life from a terrible storm! I may have been wat...
Posted by Captain Paradox on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

...and so i get my wish

IM OUTTA HERE. Its time to leave. Enough of my piss boring job and this filthy, lonely, shit-pit that is London. Been offered a job back in my old neighbourhood, in the beautiful city of Cambri...
Posted by Captain Paradox on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Nurses

So i woke up from the operation.... and my shoulder was fucking killing me. "Are you alright Mr Sawkins?" "No, it really hurts" "I'll give you a pain killing injection in your leg" 5 mins...
Posted by Captain Paradox on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST