Selling bags of oregano to teenagers at Dennys. Settling all of the issues confronting this great nation by calling into talk radio shows and telling people they're idiots. Making sure the world is aware of my sassy personality by applying the appropriate bumper sticker to my car. Constantly walking around without my shirt and talking about how I need bigger deltoids. Smirking at anyone dumb enough to pursue a career in the arts. Spending all my money on 80's memoribillia. Blaming my problems on affirmative action.
Really crappy bands. Guys pretending to be bikini models. Total strangers who need help getting a free Iphone. Mediocre looking girls who are convinced they're a 10. Anyone who enjoys bragging about how much they appreciate "smart humor." Dudes who refer to a meeting between two guys as a "bro-down session."
And this girl.
I only listen to obscure bands that reaffirm my belief that it's OK to never wash your hair.
I watch Lifetime Original movies and find myself screaming, "Mrs. Keaton, stop sleeping with married politicians!"
I wish I could say I watch Ken Burns documentaries and The original BBC version of "The Office," but somehow I just end up watching hour after hour of "Room Raiders."
Now that I live in LA, I like to think that finishing a book means I deserve some sort of medal.
The genius who came up with hip hop Bugs Bunny and rapping Tazmanian Devil. How cool was that???