MTV APPEARANCE
Check the fuck out before you wreck the fuck out, the motherfuckin' Btx Cru have filmed an episode of MTV Cribs. The hour long special is set to air Christmas Day on both BBC1 and MTV. Fans can expect to see a rare glimpse into the abject utopia that is The Botox Cowboy's Milan cottage, which used to house WWII refugees from Franco's Spain. A DVD release of the show is not planned, but for fuck's sake, get off your fucking arse and record it to video. Keep it VHS yeah?FUCK COMMENTSThe comment section has been removed because it was shit. Check out the December tour dates. Grimewatch UK is coming. Get ready.
NEW FUCKING TRACKA demo track from the upcoming Botox Cowboys album Grimewatch UK is here, like leprosy on a peasant. Fucking enjoy it, you ungrateful cunts, the band took time off from eating stolen crack to make this beautiful art. Keep it French, yeah?
NEW ALBUM COVER & SHITHere it is, you stinking pile of working class fucknuts, the cover of the The Botox Cowboys' eagerly anticipated new album, Grimewatch UK. Shower.
BOTOX TRIBUTE BAND
Word. The Botox Cowboys are proud to announce a new band inspired by The Botox Cowboys' music and life philosophy. The Oxford band, called Botox Cowboys cover music from the original Botox Cowboys first two albums, but in a really unoriginal and unconvincing indie style. This is presumably an ironic statement. Jerry, the Oxford band's tour gimp, told the original Botox Cowboys,
"we fucking love you guys so much we decided to form a covers band. But because we're not as fucking epic as you, we just play your songs with instruments, because we're a bit thick, really." Singer Andy said "Obviously we're not a pop band like the original Cowboys, so we're pretty much limited to playing the fucking awful pub scene, or playing gigs for free. I've bummed several promoters in order to get a gig."
Original Cowboy B Brutal has stated that a tour with the tribute Cowboys is never going to happen, because "they're not shower."
Enjoy the floods!
JON BON JOVI IS A CUNT & OTHER NEWS
Alright you bleeding slab of whore fat. This is a friendly news bulletin, so pay fucking attention. If you leave adverts on The Botox Cowboys' comments section, then that's cool, you fully accept you're an absolute cunt, and you fuck endangered artic tigers. Make the right move.
The Botox Cowboys new album Grimewatch UK is still being worked on. Its got some hot shit on it. The rappers B Brutal & 8 Chunk are going to be on it. Its just a bit difficult because the band are more often than not cracked up off their tits.
HaTS & SHiT now has increased stock of Xbox 360s, AK47s, Yop, Ice T albums, crystal meth, and slave labour. Cambodian women are 241. Realise, yeah?
WORD UP, PIG DOGS
Its been a while since the Cowboys have given a shit about MySpace, which is a place for cunts, but fuck it, its time for an update, yeah?the Botox cowboys are working on their fourth album, entitled Grimewatch UK, and reports from the Cowboys' Milan cottage studio say thats its fucking quality.
The band, who have been increasingly influenced by rappers with 'Ice' in their name (apart from that Vanilla cunt), are said to be releasing the album in shops, but are going to steal all the copies and flog them from the back of a car.
No word on what the album sounds like, but it will probably make every other band in the world look like a bunch of tossers. One track is to feature the vocal and lyrical talent of George "Corpsegrinder" Fisher from Cannibal Corpse, who are fucking ace.
GRIME AS FUCK
The Botox Cowboys have released the follow up to Deux as a double album. The third release from the band, named Dead Tennis, is an ambient masterpiece. It was released worldwide some time ago. The Botox Cowboys have confirmed that its fucking quality. BLAPBLAPBLAP!BOTOX FACTS AND SHIT
The Botox Cowboys are the best fucking thing ever. We exceed even music itself, and are truly perfection perfected. We're better than a whole pile of babies being lorried into a criminal's mouth. We sound like your ear, but if it was attached to the engine of a robotic moustache, being raped by an angry child from Somolia.
The Botox Cowboys were formed in 1983 and 1984 simultaniously, and are the core of noise. Eat that up.
You may have seen The Botox Cowboys performing on TV, even though they have never even been on TV. It's because they are that fucking amazing. The duo are also known for their pioneering work with grime artists 8 Chunk and B Brutal.
Their fucking debut album, Debut, won critical acclaim and 3 Grammy nominations. "Better than Pearl Jam!" cried the followers.
The fucking brilliant follow up Deux, is just as fucking amazing. Its not even finished yet, but its fucking ace. Well sinister.
The third album is the ambient album. Its out now and its fucking hot like dog shit. Dead Tennis is a concept album.
As well as co-owning the high street boutique Hats And Shit, the band are said to be working on their fourth album. Rumours that this will be the last Botox album are bollocks, although talk of the first 50,000 copies being released with a 7" flick knife seems likely. Keep it fucking fragile, yeah?.
CHECK THIS SHIT OUT:
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If you want a copy of our shit, then fuck off and get it yourself, you lazy cunt. Peace.
More on HATS AND SHIT (formerly Hats & Shit):
Its a hat shop, but it sells fucking everything, hence the "AND SHIT" bit. You fucking want it, we've fucking got it.