Vin profile picture

Vin

Vin Diesel can divide by zero.

About Me

I'm the greatest human being ever created. I am 1% insperation 99% persperation and 38% Unicon. I'm not lactose intolerant, I just refuses to put up with lactose's shit. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when I punched myself in the face. I invented black. In fact, I invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

My Interests

Killing people, sometimes with guns. Teaching poetry at Wilson Elementary Sschool, and brusing apples, peaches, and bitches. When I run with scissors, other people get hurt. I also enjoy scaring Waldo and Carmen Sandiego.

I'd like to meet:

Another me, so I can finally reach climax.

Music:

If you were to lock me in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why I don't do this I replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then I ate a knife to show the seriousness of my response.

Movies:

Bambi because I was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. I then wore her carcass like it was a coat while I made my rounds at the local children's hospital.

Television:

I once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching my Nintendo controller. I just yelled at the TV in between bites of my "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

Books:

Books are for queers, the gay kind.

Heroes:

Vin Diesel, Chuck Norris, Mr. T, Donnie Turlington