About Me

Fucking thing sucks!

I gave birth to myself! Eradicate state sponsors of terrorism.

My Interests

Serious fucking rug beating. The large hadron collider.

I'd like to meet:

John McCain supporters. We can go out to the Sizzler after a town hall meeting and bitch about taxes.

Music:

Beatles, Kinks, Stones, The Meredith Brothers, Drunken Prayer, Hearts of Oak, the Disciples of Rock N' Roll, Gabe Rozell & The Legion of Decency, Dylan, Gram Parsons, Reigning Sound, Elvis Costello/Presley, Sam Cooke/& Dave, Solomon Burke, Hank Williams, Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers, Van Morrison, Neil Young, Percy Sledge, Bruce Springsteen, all Motown, all Stax/Sun/Chess Records artists, Beck, White Stripes, Black Keys, Eagles of Death Metal, Muddy Waters, the flaming groovies, all kinds of bullshit.

Movies:

The other night I watched a preview for Tarantino's new movie "Grindhouse" and couldn't help but be really excited for it to come out. THe guns, the explosions, the over-acting! But then I thought, I wonder if women see a preview for Failure to Launch and think "relationships, romance, unpredictability". If so, that's really, really funny. Also, death to the white race.

Television:

Anything on BET. Also WGN because I love Chicago so much.

Books:

I'm LITERALLY famous for saying that reading is for

TOTAL FUCKING

pussies

!!!

Heroes:

Semi-truck takes man and wheelchair for a ride

Tribune Staff ReportPAW PAW, Mich. -- A 21-year-old man was taken on a wild ride Wednesday afternoon when the wheelchair he was in became attached to the grille of a semi-truck and was taken four miles down a highway at about 50 mph.The man, whose name police did not release, was not injured. The driver was unaware he was pushing the man, according to a news release from the Michigan State Police.Authorities began receiving calls about 4 p.m. that the semi was traveling westbound on Red Arrow Highway, just outside of Paw Paw, with the wheelchair. "You are not going to believe this, (but) there is a semi pushing a guy in a wheelchair on Red Arrow Highway," an unknown caller told the Michigan State Police.Police at first believed the calls were pranks. But when troopers responded to the Ralph Moyle Trucking Co. at 39269 Red Arrow Highway where the semi had come to a stop, they noticed the wheelchair with the man sitting in it, still attached."It was quite a ride," the man reportedly told police."The man spilled his soda pop, but he wasn't upset," Sgt. Kathy Morton of the Michigan State Police said.Police said the man was unharmed and unfazed by the incident.The driver was in disbelief when he stepped out of the semi and saw what he had picked up along the way, police said."When he saw us, he was like, 'What's going on?'" Morton said.An investigation revealed the driver had pulled out of a local gas station when the man in the wheelchair pulled in front of the semi, according to police. His wheelchair somehow became lodged by its handles to the front grille."Thank God the semi didn't go on (Interstate) 94," Morton said.

My Blog

My birthday is coming up, and this is what you’re going to do about it.

As some of you know, and still don't care, my birthday is coming up. This means that it's time to pony up, time to pay the piper! You've all been a huge disappointment in the last few year...
Posted by The Worst MySpace You've Seen in Your Life on Sat, 14 Jun 2008 06:12:00 PST

What should I do about her poo?

There is a customer at my work that's really grinding my gears. Everyday she uses our bathroom, the employee bathroom! Don't get me wrong guys, I don't mind customers using our bathroom, a...
Posted by The Worst MySpace You've Seen in Your Life on Sat, 26 Apr 2008 04:42:00 PST

Apple probably isnt trying to sell someone like me an I-Phone

Apple's advertising campaign for the I-Phone is targeted at people that won't hang out with me. The situations that make the I-Phone so convenient for the fictional characters in these commercia...
Posted by The Worst MySpace You've Seen in Your Life on Wed, 13 Feb 2008 05:07:00 PST

Another reason Hillary Clinton cant be trusted.

Hillary taking advice from President Bush on prosecuting Iraq policy. "President Bush is quietly providing back-channel advice to Hillary Rodham Clinton, urging her to modulate her rhetoric so she ca...
Posted by The Worst MySpace You've Seen in Your Life on Tue, 25 Sep 2007 08:00:00 PST

Beg your pardon?

Beg your pardon? Sure buddy, just bump into my shoulder as you walk by. Just make sure to beg for my pardon, otherwise I might have considering stabbing you in the face. No, it is a ...
Posted by The Worst MySpace You've Seen in Your Life on Thu, 09 Aug 2007 07:51:00 PST

A recent Bush speech with only the important stuff taken out.

..> There's no reading required here, but just put into perspective how many times this subliminal brainmaster tries to create an association between words such as Iraq, September 11th, Al-Qaeda, B...
Posted by The Worst MySpace You've Seen in Your Life on Thu, 26 Jul 2007 05:38:00 PST

Why The Police Are the Dumbest People in Society

Tonight a Portland Police Officer hassled me for over five minutes for crossing Foster road for the last three seconds of the red hand on the crosswalk signal. I began crossing because I (And an...
Posted by The Worst MySpace You've Seen in Your Life on Sun, 01 Jul 2007 11:21:00 PST

My Night of Drinking Bum Wines by Michael Bauske II

I decided to buy a six pack of pale ale and and to really call it a Saturday I bought a sizeable bottle of an alcoholic "drank" called Cisco tonight which I purchased at a local shoppery on 122nd &...
Posted by The Worst MySpace You've Seen in Your Life on Sun, 17 Jun 2007 03:34:00 PST

Let's look to Iran for how to deal with illegal immigration.

Iran deports 70,000 Afghani's in 30 days... I'm for full amnesty and could give a fuck about how many Mexicans hop the fence, but I find it funny that the democrats and republicans can't get th...
Posted by The Worst MySpace You've Seen in Your Life on Tue, 22 May 2007 09:29:00 PST

If you aren't answering the banners at the top of the page then you're a fool, fool!

You may have seen these opinion poll banners at the top of your myspace page a few times... Maybe you don't think anything of it, and non-chalantly pass up on these fantastic opportunities. If ...
Posted by The Worst MySpace You've Seen in Your Life on Tue, 15 May 2007 09:23:00 PST