the robot at the helm - ProfilesArchive

About Me

It's Monday. You wake up. You're in bed. Get up.You're really hungry. Go kitchen.You're in the kitchen. There's an icebox ahead of you. Open icebox.You see four plums. They call out to you with their sweet fruity siren song. Resist plumsYou cannot resist plums. Resist plumsYou cannot resist plums. Eat plumThat plum is the best thing you've ever fucking eaten. Eat another plumThe second one was even better. And there's still two left. Resist plumsYou cannot resist plums. Eat plumYou cream your jeans. Eat plumThe world is perfect. There is a god. Eat plumThere are no more plums CryYou black out. Hours later, you wake and realize you've devoured the orgasmo-plums that your half-retarded baby sister eats for breakfast. Write apology noteYou publish the note and make a shitload of money for no reason.WIN.. make
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MySpace Editor Rasheed Richmond

My Interests

Reading (sci-fi, mysteries, shorts), writing (poetry, fiction, journalism), walking (parambulating, meandering and moseying), headbanging...
Contributor to the infamous Montreal-based 'zine Stationaery.com, and soon to be a little more involved with its campus offshoot.
Love a lot of webcomics: qwantz.com, whiteninjacomics.com, toothpastefordinner.com, machall.com, thepbf.com, vgcats.com, asofterworld.com, catandgirl.com, achewood.com

I'd like to meet:

people who know how great beer 'n' poetry go together.
also, people who aren't a douche and do this: (C) xkcd.com (The alt text is right on, it says "It's like they got together and said, 'Man what do we miss from the internet in 1998? Oh yeah embedded MIDI!'")

Music:

The Mountain Goats, Pedro the Lion, The Faint, Le Tigre, Zemfira, Mul'tfil'mi, Leningrad, The Lovely Feathers, The Dismemberment Plan.

Movies:

Shaun of the Dead, Monsieur Verdoux, North Fork, Sin City, Battle Royale, Kung-Fu Hustle

Television:

Too ashamed to admit what I watch. Or that I even watch at all... let alone what I base certain days around... ugh.

Books:

Authors: Fredric Brown, Philip Larkin, Patrick O'Brien, Anna Akhmatova, Darko Suvin, Mikhail Epstein, Jeffrey McDaniel. Books: Master i Margarita, Prestuplenie i nakazanie, Moskva 2042, Moskva-Petushki, etcetera.

Heroes:

Garrison Keillor, John Darnielle, Kurt Vonnegut.

My Blog

the smiling on the package

Winter can blow me.Clementines are divine tho.
Posted by the robot at the helm on Sun, 09 Dec 2007 01:59:00 PST

with all the grain of babylon

dad went with me to clean eight years of junk out of my old car. eight years of old homework and books and receipts i tossed in the back and change under the seats. I don't even need... any of it, rea...
Posted by the robot at the helm on Sun, 14 Oct 2007 07:46:00 PST

what do we do/ with ten dirty shoes

wellll i learned a lot this week and may behave differently in future.
Posted by the robot at the helm on Thu, 11 Oct 2007 12:57:00 PST

RIP Quincy 1988-2007

Welp I totalled my car. Say goodbye to Quincy my faithful old Chevy Celebrity, had him 8 years, took him on a roadtrip when I was 19, etc etc. I am pretty pissed off about the whole thing and I won't ...
Posted by the robot at the helm on Tue, 09 Oct 2007 08:36:00 PST

The untold story of Herschel Dennis Robokopski

The youngest of five children born to a Polish shoemaker, Herschel Dennis Robokopski emigrated with his family to the United States in 2010. They settled at first in New St. Louis, where they had rela...
Posted by the robot at the helm on Fri, 05 Oct 2007 03:24:00 PST

feathers

i met a 90 year old man today, it was his birthday actually, and he wanted me to hear his poem about vultures. it was pretty good, though i didn't write any of it down and i don't remember more than t...
Posted by the robot at the helm on Sun, 30 Sep 2007 05:04:00 PST

deathgrip on the armrest

last night i dreamt that i had my birthday party in japan. we flew a bunch of people out there and my family and i forget what we even did, i remember a beachfront amusement park but we never went the...
Posted by the robot at the helm on Wed, 26 Sep 2007 10:25:00 PST

eat beyond hunger and drink beyond thirst

i thought i saw a familiar walk and was half tempted to pull a u'y at the stoplight and go back to take a second look but that would have been a bit much.i got quite a scoop the other day.
Posted by the robot at the helm on Mon, 17 Sep 2007 02:31:00 PST

16 x 32

one of those disorienting nights where you (by which i mean i) mistake mailboxes for people and don't know anyone in your hometown and then do run into someone you used to know but it's completely for...
Posted by the robot at the helm on Sat, 08 Sep 2007 10:06:00 PST

oh what a rush of ripe elan

it's unnerving to see a familiar face, or something like it, where you don't expect it. and you still can't be sure you didn't see correctly after all, given what you know or don't know about the pers...
Posted by the robot at the helm on Fri, 07 Sep 2007 03:01:00 PST