brad profile picture

brad

I am here for Friends

About Me



I edited my profile with Thomas’ Myspace Editor V3.6 !

I am a sarcastic mope living in the suburbs of Chicago in a townhome with my wife (who I love very much) and our cat named Stewie. We named him after the baby from Family Guy and yes it was my idea. We're your typical suburban married couple without kids who are obsessed with TV and movies and music. Watch for us on season three of VH1's World Series of Pop Culture next year. We're gonna kick some major ass.

By the way, I have a very dark sense of humor. I tend to repress most of the jokes that pop into my head as most people do not find them funny and it eventually just gets my ass in trouble. No, my wife did not tell me this. This is just simply something I have figured out on my own over the years.

My Interests

Not really.
I'm your typical suburban jackass. I'm into playing the same god damned video game over and over again. I like cheap cigars and shitty beer. I love people watching at places like flea markets, dive bars, summer festivals, etc. I used to love the fuck out of Cheaters, but that show has destroyed itself when it not only changed announcers but also completely rearranged the format of the show. It has jumped the shark.

I'd like to meet:


I'm not looking to meet anyone. Most people you actually meet in person from the Internet are actually very fucked up. I've done the Internet dating thing, so I know what I'm talking about. It is true that I did meet my wife in an AOL chat room, but that's beside the point. That's why I said most people - one of us is normal (it's not me).

Music:

Look, there's way too much shit to list here if you want me to list my favorite artists. It would just be a big fucking waste of all of our time.Anyway, here are some groups people seem to forget about...

And then there are the things I have tried to have erased from my memory but they keep fighting to remain (like in that Jim Carey movie)...

img src="http://www.av1611.org/images/crock/stryper5.jpg"

Movies:

I'm not really into most movies, but I am a big fan of comedies from the 70's & 80's, mob films, kung fu films, and old school horror flicks. Most of the modern movies I like I find on IFC or late Saturday night on Svengoolie (it's a Chicago thing)

It's a show that features bad horror flicks and makes fun of them. Classic local television.

"KISS MY CONVERSE!!!" Sadly, I cannot wear Chucks due to my wide feet. If I could wear them, then rest assured you would kiss them upon my request to do so.

Even better than watching a really great movie is watching a really bad movie. Here's a classic example:

Needless to say I never saw the sequel.

Television:

I don't watch many programs religiously anymore since most shows are only good for a season or maybe two. Here are a few I like:

Books:

Well now I must inform you that although I do not read many novels I do enjoy a few periodicals for their in-depth articles and overall informative nature. Here they am be:

Actually, I do read books when I find one that interests me.

Heroes:



This kid.

The fine people who raised me at this facility.

The people who were crazy enough to believe a movie based on The Garbage Pail Kids was a good idea and then made it. And why were the black ones thrown in a cage labeled "TOO GROSS"? Seems a little wierd, doesn't it?

My Blog

"Your mom’s in recovery. We’ll have the autopsy results in a few days."

Normally, that message would scare the shit out of me. However, considering the fact that my dad is under an enormous emotional strain I knew he meant 'BIOPSY' and not AUTOPSY.My mom had major surgery...
Posted by brad on Thu, 10 Jul 2008 06:01:00 PST

I like fire. I like beer. I like Friday holidays involving both.

That asshole Jesse Helms finally fucking died. He was a prick and I will not miss him.I grilled twice - once was lunch at our house (steak) and then at the mother-in-law's (burgers & hot dogs) - F...
Posted by brad on Sun, 06 Jul 2008 06:15:00 PST

Fun with rainbows a.k.a. thanks despair.com!

I'm waiting for lunch to get done, so I made some posters on despair.com using the same image. Here's the original image and the posters....
Posted by brad on Sat, 28 Jun 2008 11:23:00 PST

This is how I make decisions.

more graph humor and song chart memes...
Posted by brad on Fri, 27 Jun 2008 06:39:00 PST

Heritage, Schmeritage Fest

The neighboring town is having their summer festival called, Heritage Fest. Basically, what they do is they close off the entire downtown area for a clusterfuck of carnival rides (for the record, don'...
Posted by brad on Fri, 27 Jun 2008 06:30:00 PST

Heaven is a topless bar by the airport - George was the best.

...
Posted by brad on Mon, 23 Jun 2008 05:12:00 PST

Things that are fucked up.

Here's a brief list of things I have observed in the past week that I truly believe are fucked up:1. Suburban night club music.2. People at suburban night clubs dancing to said music.3. Throwing the '...
Posted by brad on Mon, 23 Jun 2008 08:07:00 PST

This shit tastes like snot.

The man I have to blame for me discovering this shit is named "JOBE" - one of my sister's ex-boyfriends. He probably first heard of it the same way I did - watching some of these very ads while watchi...
Posted by brad on Fri, 13 Jun 2008 10:17:00 PST

Sundays are Fundays!!

Oh, there's nothing like capping off a weekend with an hour-long drive to the land of creepy assholes just to have brunch with your family. My aunt Sandy and uncle Andy were in town from Miami this we...
Posted by brad on Mon, 09 Jun 2008 08:53:00 PST

damn.

Let me run down some things from the past week (and no, HC hasn't killed anyone...at least not as far as I know):One week ago today I got elected to be the president of our townhome association board....
Posted by brad on Thu, 05 Jun 2008 09:26:00 PST