Handsome Dann profile picture

Handsome Dann

Hi... H- Han- Handsome Dann?

About Me

Christian, guitar virtuoso, avid reader, proud parent of the handsomest dog ever. i'm some how a calvinist and a creationist. i like only like things that are fizzafunky fresh. i don't like things that aren't balla. i don't like to go out. i'm a bbq sauce advocate. i dropped out of high school because i had big plans to become a hardcore wrestler. the very thought of no-ropes barbed wire still gets my blood boiling to no end. i like to keep to myself because i'm afraid of everyone else. i probably know more about saved by the bell and married with children than you do about any other subject. i like my oatmeal lumpy. i get real upset sometimes over the fact you can't really get a degree in cryptozoology. i like to sleep late. i'm nice to everybody. i reject your reality, and substitute one of my own. sometimes i get ridiculous. i'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice. i don't think fish would fight so much if they lived in the river. sometimes i just don't find things too amusing anymore. these are just a few of my favorite things; i like the number nine at charlie chan's with the chicken wings. keep bangin'...

My Interests

living His testimony, Jesus Christ, my dog, playin guitar, church, cryptozoology, bbq sauce, goin to the occasional show, my friends, reading, jp licks, ds2k productions, hangin around, platinum iced-out grillz, ribs, conspriacy theories, the dozens, being lazy, spinning rims, comfy clothes, volunteering, trying every guitar daddys has in stock, the Good News, hip-hop absurdity, bucketheadland, the reggae drumming, dressing nice, DJs from the old days, 2 hour solos, 6 hour sets, the long beach stylee, sleeping late when i can, thinking too much, being irie.

I'd like to meet:

all the strong backs that are lifting it all up. and some others too; buckethead. motorcycle boy. mr. scream. people to jam with. lil' cease.

as far as friend requests go, feel free to add me, if you intend to talk to me. dont just send an invite because we both happen to like sublime or something. also, if you have a tricked out myspace page my computer cant handle, or a cleavage shot in your profile, you'd be best to move along. i'm chaste anyway, so don't waste your time.

i hate to sound like a jerk here, but i have to make a couple rules about bands:
1. just because i like jewel dosen't mean i like any girl with a guitar. she's the exception, not the rule.
2. just because i like dave and john mayer dosen't mean i like any scruffy guy with an acoustic. see above.
3. i happen to like a few hardcore bands, but i will under no circumstance listen to a new one. sorry, i've moved on.
4. if you have a guitar and you're not burning on it, you really need to stop and think for a minute about what you're doing with your life, and also, why you would send me a friend request when i'm clearly a rager.

Music:

dave matthews, buckethead, sublime, orchestra baobab, jewel, dave mustaine/marty friedman, slightly stoopid, guns n' roses (buckethead/finck era mostly), epileptic disco, jimmy herring, bob marley, stevie ray vaughan, stu stone/the stone movement, elvis costello, kardinal offishall, peter tosh, andy milonakis, one life crew, long beach dub allstars, joe walsh, kool keith, barfight, jerry garcia/bob wier, randy rhoads, jake e. lee, tupac, ali fakar toure, pitboss 2000, niel young, proclamation, jimmy cliff, lb shortbus, de la soul, nothing personal, eazy e, yngwie j. malmsteen, n.w.a., one king down, the band, mark knopfler, trey anastasio, starla, mc chris, bad luck 13, lee 'scratch' perry, john mayer, slayer, dr.dre, out for justice, dead prez, mos def, etc, etc, ad infinitum

anything with a burning guitarist really. i guess i'm just old school like that, metal solos over rock and blues like that...

Movies:

white chicks, falling down, blues brothers, resivior dogs, slapshot, stay tuned, friday the 13th II-XI, waynes world 2, all things Three Stooges, bill and ted's bogus journey, psycho 1-4, stuff about world war II, olde tyme comedies

Television:

the three stooges, Mythbusters, aquateen hunger force, eastman curtis, family guy, andy milonakis, the simpsons, married...with children, da ali g show, blowin' up, tv fun house, M*A*S*H*, kids in the hall, the state, viva la bam, saturday night live, salute your shorts, comedy central, my three sons of bitches, stuff on the history channel, old 2-reel comedys (collins and kennedy, bowery boys, el brendel, andy clyde etc)

Books:

the Bible, the Areas of my Expertise, Ted Healy and his Stooges, Mousie Garner's Autobiography, Amalgamated Morons to American Icons, Rumble Fish, classic histories (eusebius, josephus, tacitus, julius africanus, etc), the ante-nicean fathers, any book about WWII, other bits of Christian lit and reference type stuff.

Heroes:

Jesus, Cody's Dad, Mark Fields, Shemp Howard, Buckethead

My Blog

making progress

i've been in this musical slump for the longest time. just stagnating on what i know. i tried alot of different things to get out of it. i've been learning piano, and listening to alot more styles of ...
Posted by Handsome Dann on Tue, 27 Feb 2007 12:54:00 PST

fun facts about indiana's favorite dann

here's a few interesting facts about me, if anyone cares. i have never gotten a nose bleed in my life. even when i got it pierced, or the several times it was broken, no blood. i haven't eaten a veg...
Posted by Handsome Dann on Wed, 31 May 2006 09:02:00 PST

"the day i met jewel". (OR "me and jewelio down by the school yard")

 so today, i had the rare oppurtunity to meet the ever-lovely jewel kilcher. here's a run down of exactly what happened. i remember every detail, and i'm sure i will till the day i die. this is e...
Posted by Handsome Dann on Tue, 25 Apr 2006 09:24:00 PST

Three Dreams I Had About a Dude I Know

During a 2 hour nap today, i had 3 different dreams about a freind of mine. they were brief, and uneventful, but here they are, for your unenjoyment: 1. I was driving with some friends up burlingame ...
Posted by Handsome Dann on Mon, 17 Apr 2006 07:03:00 PST

Spring Fever

well, it's that time of year again, when a young man's thoughts turn to women, love and the like. and though, i can't say i've been entirely innocent of this; i have another itch. one that no woman co...
Posted by Handsome Dann on Thu, 13 Apr 2006 09:12:00 PST

writer's block

a comedic synopsis? perhaps some sort of thesis or, even a political agenda? i used to write the most beautiful poems and lyrics. i could throw together a story that would that would blow your mind. o...
Posted by Handsome Dann on Fri, 24 Mar 2006 10:18:00 PST

Alex Dwyer

time after time you've heard me speak of my dear friend Alex. and i could tell you for pages of his genuis,and the antics we've gotten into. however, i don't feel there are words to thoroughly describ...
Posted by Handsome Dann on Mon, 13 Mar 2006 12:16:00 PST

some things

heres a list of things i find to be acceptable. things i find to be amazing, or even just ok. people will be included too, however, if your my friend and arent on here, dont be upset, i obviously thin...
Posted by Handsome Dann on Sat, 11 Mar 2006 10:31:00 PST

im going to start posting these...

with nothing really. just random thoughts, stories, and the like. stay tuned...
Posted by Handsome Dann on Fri, 10 Mar 2006 12:21:00 PST