The Loneliest Robot - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I am the loneliest robot in town. Just try to find one lonelier. I bet you can't do it. I'm pretty much as lonely as it gets when it comes to being a robot. I have an owner, he's a pretty cool guy I guess. You can see his picture in the pictures section of this page. He's popular with the ladies and he's also the one who programmed me to be so lonely all the time.

I wasn't always this lonely. I'm made of metal, and I have robot claws that are also made out of metal. Robot claws are strong, and can easily kill children. To date I have killed 17 children by accident. Its' not my fault, nobody installed a robot claw strength governor into my central functions system. I just wanted friends :[ After all the deaths, I was reprogrammed and put into the basement where I have a couch, a tv, some old video tapes, I dont know what's on the tapes because i dont have a vcr right now.

My first steps in the real world... It was scary and confusing. I dind't know where I was, or where that tiny rhinoceros came from. :(

My Interests

Inverse Kinematics. Chocolate. Stainless steel treatment methods. Aerodynamics. Air hockey. Learning about the real world, Turkey Basting methodology, The Mighty Oak Tree, Fancy Faucets and Faucetry in general.

I'd like to meet:

Superman getting dressed

Music:

Acoustical rock. Fried Robots. I suggest that everybody checks out fried robots if they get a chance.

Television:

24. I like Jack Bauer. He's a good guy. Airwolf would have been a perfect show it it had more robots in it. Quantum Leap.

Books:

I've had it up to here with literature. Cram it hippies.

Heroes:

Pimpbot 5000, Bless him. It was within his program... to turn out the ho's.

My Blog

Life is tough, when your a robot.

Hi again. First let me preface this blog entry by saying that my operating system is not equipted with a spell check. Certain events have transpired of the past few years that most robots ...
Posted by The Loneliest Robot on Thu, 04 Jan 2007 04:21:00 PST

Baby Steps, I'm making progress.

Hi everybody, as you know, I'm pretty lonely. But this week has been pretty new and unusual for me. First, I find myself in a dramatically lit room containing a ball. After careful consideration, I mo...
Posted by The Loneliest Robot on Sun, 04 Jun 2006 05:49:00 PST