nay. - ProfilesArchive

About Me

you know when you see those pictures and commercials of babies from 3rd world countries crying, and the old man with the 'soon-to-be-jesus' looking beard comes and lifts them up on his hip?
its not like that.
there is never an old man in khaki.
there is never someone to come lift you out of the garbage and shit that is your life.

its a personal choice thing, you know?
you just kind of live in the garbage and shit that is your life.
you live in it until you're ready to be your own old white man in khaki and lift yourself out.

you have to lift yourself out.
its the only way you can do it.

livejournal:bbbeana

My Interests

i'm interested in life.
and armpit hair.

I'd like to meet:

the source of laughter.

Music:

i like music.
i like a lot of music.
you can ask me if you would like
i'll tell you what you want to know.

Movies:

"she says wake up its no use pretending."

Television:

"horizontal like a mail-order male whore."

Books:

"you cannot hide forever, though you may try. I've seen you in the kitchen, in the garden. i've seen the things you have sewn-curtains of dawn, twilight blankets and dresses for the sisters like a garden of stars. i have heard the stories you tell. you are the one who transforms, who creates. you can go out into the world and show others. they will feel less alone because of you, they will feel understood, unburdened by you, awakened by you, freed of guilt and shame and sorrow. but to share them you must wear shoes you must go out you must not hide you must dance and it will be harder you must face jealousy and sometimes rage and desire and love which can hurt most of all because of what can then be taken away. so make that astral dress to fit your own body this time. and here are glass shoes made from your words, the stories you have told like a blower with her torch forming the thinnest, most translucent sheets of light out of what was once sand. but be careful; sand is already broken but glass breaks. the shoes are for dancing not for running away."

Heroes:

my future wife.

My Blog

decals.

i scratch sunflower decals off my my pens.i take pictures in photobooths and i don't smile.i don't have the same sense of smell that i used to.my brain aches when i wake up.my dreams are thoughts are ...
Posted by nay. on Wed, 07 Nov 2007 11:18:00 PST

moscow.

i want to lay next to someone with soft skin and warm hands.look at my eyes and tell me what color they are.tell me what they say to you.tell me what they look like because i'm too afraid to look myse...
Posted by nay. on Wed, 07 Nov 2007 10:35:00 PST

wait to hear the sound of my voice.

i can only think that my dreams take pieces of my being away.waking up after a reaccuring dream feeling set apart from your usual self,felling set apart from your usual self for the rest of the day.ev...
Posted by nay. on Tue, 06 Nov 2007 10:06:00 PST

secreto.

your cologne infects my nasal passages, clouds my eyes with fumes. you sit next to me on the bus and i feel as if the amount of synthetic scent you wear is meant to cover something up. like a lie cove...
Posted by nay. on Thu, 01 Nov 2007 01:28:00 PST

thin

"there's a thin line between anger and hunger my man, and i ride a unicycle down the middle."i have been hunchbacked for hours, paintbrush in hand, in front of a canvas, in the basement.my sister is e...
Posted by nay. on Fri, 26 Oct 2007 12:56:00 PST

umbrella.

i think the umbrella term for negative emotions is 'sad'.i know that i am not 'sad'.we are blessed with so many things in life. not things as in material things, but things,is in happiness, safety, go...
Posted by nay. on Thu, 25 Oct 2007 10:12:00 PST

verse.

it was an innocent thing. sexually innocent. void of intentions. void of attachments.innocent.how happy i am that the innocence reversed itself. became a whole world of intentions, attachments, and fe...
Posted by nay. on Sun, 21 Oct 2007 05:13:00 PST

the old hill.

nothing but you baby.after winter must come spring...
Posted by nay. on Tue, 16 Oct 2007 06:39:00 PST

this is what its like sometimes.

theres a point that is reached by the [emotional] heart when everything that happens affects nothing, creates no nostalgia or meaning, where everything that happens becomes nothing more than superfici...
Posted by nay. on Wed, 10 Oct 2007 11:45:00 PST

you can say how you say what you say whenever you’re saying it.

uh.yeah.sweet.i feel like a hypocrite half the time.and wonderful the other half.my horoscope today said to act with my heart instead of my head which is EXACTLY what i needed. and now i'm just going ...
Posted by nay. on Wed, 03 Oct 2007 09:43:00 PST