ryan profile picture

ryan

Mmm! Damn, baby. You got some FRIES to go with that SHAKE?

About Me

My mom was a fat leprachaun and my dad a retarded circus clown. Together they fought crime, opened a small textile plant outside Tecoma, Washington, and marched for civil rights with Dr King. Well, not WITH him. They watched it on TV and marched in place from their living room. Still, it was quite an afternoon.

My Interests

movies. music. bowling. international espionage. national, state, and local espionage. new experiences. old experiences, but redone with funny hats. bowling again. christian rock. and high tea.

I'd like to meet:

Albert Einstein, Jesus, and Fred Estaire.What? You're kidding me. ALL of them? Jeez, tough brake.

Music:

elvis, sinatra, m.j., coldplay, outkast (from back in the day, though, ATLiens, southernplayalisticcaddillacmusic), the roots, radiohead, ben folds, common, stripes, hives, strokes, ZEPELLIN, QUEEN, HENDRIX, beatles, james taylor, dana gourier, the frames, biggie, pac, l.l., the doggfather, blackstar, jurassic 5, kamikaze, satchmo, billy holiday, b.b. king, marley (and kin), aerosmith, muse, ghinzu, johann sebastian bach, aceyalone, blackalicious, talib kweli, mos def, billy joel, jack johnson, mozart, and others

Movies:

godfathers I and II, goodfellas, donnie brasco, a bronx tale, casino, heat, tombstone, chinatown, city of god, joe vs the volcano, a clockwork orange, trainspotting, the silence of the lambs, one flew over the cuckoos nest, braveheart, forrest gunp, casablanca, cat on a hot tin roof, snatch, the big lebowski, 28 days later, o brother where art thou, the matrix, the jerk, blazing saddles, shawshank redemption, south park: bigger, longer, & uncut, airplane, wet hot american summer, bad santa, taxi driver, sin city, shaolin soccer, kung-fu hustle, shindler's list, L.A. story, L.A. confidential, shine, spiderman (1+2), x-men (1+2), king kong (original and 70s remake), amadeus, psycho, duck soup, anything marx brothers really, amelie, kiss kiss bang bang, brick, seven samurai, "COUNTING BACKWARDS," borat

Television:

LOST, West Wing, Friday Night Lights, The Sarah Silverman Program, Entourage, The Office, The Simpsons, Family Guy, South Park, Robot Chicken, Home Movies, The Sopranos, 30 Rock, Scrubs, E.R., Extras, Larry King Live

Books:

grapes of wrath, east of eden, of mice and men, the odyssey, tao te ching, little flowers of saint francis, letters to a young poet, a heartbreaking work of staggering genius, me talk pretty one day, the road, wiseguy, working a Ben Franklin biography right now, and much, much more (see manager for details...)

Heroes:

Ghandi. The definition of "possibility."

My Blog

What happens when I'm bored, part one.

Am excerpt from my latest book: From Here to There: Journeys of an Unaccomplished Moron."I had a friend named Nbutande. Nigerian. Hated dogs. His mother was killed by a dog. His father was killed by a...
Posted by ryan on Sun, 11 Feb 2007 11:27:00 PST

For my dear friend, the new homosexual, Ken.

Congratulations, Ken. You're finally gay. We always knew you had it in you, and now, sure enough, you're gonna have it in you forever. Or, if you're lucky, he'll take it out every once in a while and ...
Posted by ryan on Tue, 31 Jan 2006 10:51:00 PST