Schmortney - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm nice. I'm shy around new people. Some people think this is snobbery but it's not; it's more intimidation than anything. I'm getting better at the shy thing though. I take everything to heart and as a result I'm a wimp. I adore animals and old people. I let fear run my life. My health isn't my friend just yet. I like most everyone but I realize that they don't have to like me back. I don't know when to say no to people. I overanalyze things. So in summary I'm a pushover..but I'm working on it. I really am.
The zoo includes Leroy (The chameleon), Phil (The hedgehog), Zephyr (The maniac dog), Cicco (The pretty, clumsy dog), Kitty (The ragdoll kitten), Bunny (The swiffer rabbit), three yet-to-be-named Bermuda Blackbelly sheep (Adult, teen, and baby), a herd of chickens (stricken with insanity if you ask me), Thelma and Bo Peep (A mom and baby goat who are so friendly and sweet!), and two Pigeons.
I'm a bit of a happy magnet for maimed and strange homeless animals.

My Interests

The following things also interest me...
...vaudeville, 1930s/1940's glamour, extreme plastic surgeries(gone awry!!!), all shades of brown, sociology, hot chocolate, sunshine, knitting, Led Zeppelin, gore, picnics, patience, critters, corestry, black lace, cream/dirty colored lace, swimming, photography, drugstore cosmetics, Vincent Price, sunshine, lightning storms, Gordie Johnson, grotesque, the elderly, european history, back scratches, Robert Plant, sincerity, Willie McTell, bike rides, humour, african american history, kindness, Chris Robinson, flowers, plants, gardens, jungles, travelling, dust, sewing, Cheburashka, and thrift store shopping.

I'd like to meet:

I'd like to talk to anyone who's kind, sincere, and has a demented sense of humor.

Music:

I like blues from the 20's and 30's, all pre 1940 recorded country/jug band/jazz stuff (Maybe I like the bad quality?), good 70's rock, psychadelic 60's rock, russian rap, cheesy old gospel, bad old punk rock, reggae, gregorian chant music...and many other things.

Movies:

I like movies that first make me feel like I've been punched in the chest and then make me think. I like pre-code films in all their scandalous glory. I like off the wall stuff. I like documentaries and cheesy romance movies. I love "Life is Beautiful", and I love "It's a Wonderful Life".I hate action movies. The more helicopters, explosions, and fight scenes...the more I want to jab the nearest object into my eyes.

Television:

I watch less than an hour of television per month.

Books:

I am currently reading "Hamlet's Dresser" by Bob Smith.

My Blog

Uh

So I applied to school for this fall. I am going for Pre-Med- making sure to cover all my bases for the DVM program as well as the MD program. People warned me not to take a break from school before p...
Posted by Schmortney on Wed, 21 Feb 2007 08:33:00 PST

Hydromorphone

My reproductive system has been trying to eat me alive for the past ten or so years. For a while it was getting better, now it's getting worse again. Today I was puking up all my drugs. In fact all we...
Posted by Schmortney on Thu, 11 Jan 2007 11:07:00 PST

FET

For some reason December is goodie month. My Mom has been cooking for the entire month. All the clients at work have been bringing in tons of goodies and chocolates. There is literally no room to eat ...
Posted by Schmortney on Sat, 23 Dec 2006 12:48:00 PST

Gummer

Posted by Schmortney on Sun, 10 Sep 2006 11:14:00 PST

Goats

Thelma and Bo peep. And a recent baby photo. ...
Posted by Schmortney on Sun, 18 Jun 2006 05:36:00 PST

Babies!

One of the new golfball sized tots I'm helping to take care of.
Posted by Schmortney on Sun, 11 Jun 2006 04:39:00 PST

That was quick

So I came home from work today to learn that Guido my bunny was killed. He was in a rabbit run on legs. Part of it was wire and part of it was wood. He had a little hutch to hide in, and the rest was ...
Posted by Schmortney on Sat, 27 May 2006 11:25:00 PST

!!!

Meet my new bunny and excuse his nerd vest. He's a little bashful, but very explorative. All in all he's a good guy.
Posted by Schmortney on Sun, 21 May 2006 06:28:00 PST

wazoo

So in a couple weeks me and a few other people are having dinner with Howard Lyman. Yes. The man who convinced Oprah to proclaim her disinterest in hamburgers and get lawsuits up the wazoo.Haha. Life ...
Posted by Schmortney on Wed, 17 May 2006 07:17:00 PST

Robert Plant

Sept 23/05That man still has it. I was far enough away from him that it is entirely possible he may still be a sex god. I had so much fun. I think I must have been the only person there dancing and cl...
Posted by Schmortney on Mon, 17 Oct 2005 09:08:00 PST