tommy sardo is dead

making it look easy was never this hard. i've tried to have a temper but words dont count on me as much as they used to. they hide and bury themselves beneath a better kind, kinder than i cant ever pretend to be. my eyes are still blue like the ocean but shallow water keeps me near the sand. i'm deeper than the ocean but still on land learning to swim in bathtubs and softer couches your used to seeing me decide my evenings upon. am i saying to much or am i still able to hide behind the layers of my skin with a broken smile on display? excuse me, i forgot what you said. did you really have something more important to offer? it's selfishness that keeps me awake dreaming of a brand new addition to life. i know what i want but i must not want it as bad as i project myself on the wall with only static as my signature move. the word i is thrown around the field like i connect emotion to sports. i is too important to forget but we has never sounded familiar enough. can i make we click at the hip, the lip, the skin, the feeling? talk to me. i'll bite your head off but still leave your ears to listen. thats me in a nutshell that just wont crack. i know i'm nervous, scared and never in line, but would you please throw me against the floor and shatter my shell so i can hold you for a while?-----------------------------------------------history like me just dont make ammmends.--------------------------------------------------- --------dead trees make for good leaves. cold fires start the winter. i'm too cold now to enjoy the warmth but to old still catch the breeze. i guess beauty queens hide their face to explain what taste they prompt to forget. i guess ten foot soldiers found the james' gang and hung them for a meal. my two-toed stanger doesnt know where to exist. we children cant just hide and seek for cover. the grounds' been shoock and we're refusing in the tunnels. bunking in the subways. the sunlight on the oceanside cuts the gulf coast and shoots my barrel hand into the heart the senseless. to short to make a word, yet to shielding to share one. my lips dont speak as i trained them to, back on the mainland. you cant be serious when i place you to sleep. you white gown drowns you in an angel of rebirth. your face is the last to be swallowed into the perfect river. you believe what i cant or else i'd be speachless. but maybe its about time we met the settlers. i'm sure there hungry. i'll feed them compliments, you mend their beds. it might be a short stay in the canal hotel. "the river runs deep, the river runs red", what you may want might not be you bed. i'm here. waiting for a compliment. choosing for a retrospect. speaking in tounges. i've been awake and your dreaming for me. sure.------------------------------------------------------- ----if i pull you in, will you stay awake and listen. "aren't you tired" you'll say after thirteen days. i'll get enough sleep when i'm dead. but tonite my eyes are focused on you. tell me your hiding something. it would make this more exciting, more revealing. I got mine. my problems. i keep them. to keep you. happy. we're happy now that we dont know each other. what makes it more captivating is that i have two left hands that cant write a thing. and your left eye is always closed because your afraid of the sunsets. be my utencil and drive us to nevada. the west was won with vengeance and we're winning it back again. i always believed sunrises were more dramatic, but not as colorful. they are uh...well like good books possibly? where the charactiers build themselves out of clay and wind up golden. instead, we're stranded in the desert sucking on cactus for life. we'll dry up and sleep forever. they'll never find us here. we're gplden sunrise dead.------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------if we do this together, can i still go steady? a stone the size of my eyes is cought up in my throat. is it hot in here or is it the lampshade? close the shutters and peer at the loathing neighbors. their happy until they realize their lost. lost in what einstein might call physics. in other words jealousy. what making sense does not prove might outlast what cant be proven. everything means something but you just have to look deeper into the picture. what else can i say but try harder. if these are rules on living lovely, then i got a two ton baton to raise in excess. if your stronger than what i can see, dont just fake contentiousness. its not something to be takin lightly. you would understand. you deal with labeling the lesser of few as noble or tender. coy is what does not run through your veins. if sly the fox was an elephant you'd be his steed. but coy is the confident words below your evolving billboard. ,i can see that your not getting this and you wouldnt because it only makes sense. it only speaks of what you cannot understand but choose to enlighten. your evening isnt but over, yet i still hope for the rain to continue on its course. its just hit costa rica and its path lies within us. if something does come swirling, let yourself go. i'll still love you. my eyes are only the size of a stone.------------------------------------------------------ -----------------------------------i'm a sextuplet and all of my brothers are dead. half of my heart is frozen and my fingers tremble softly. i once lost a girlfriend who died from mal-practice. weakend from appendicitis, they slipped and cut out her liver instead. i like when people, humans, slip and fall and kill themselves. every breath of air that i'll thrust into your mouth is as delicate as the glass in which we drink from. float on soldier if your hungry lost at sea. the glass will dip into your lips and shutter all emotion. we've been drinking for seven weeks straight, and we've lost nothing but ourselves. isn't it wonderfully tightening our chests. i'm tattoo'd of raw stupidity but i'll play ball. i'll go deep. i'll kiss you in your weakest moment not knowing if pain upholds saliva. your too weak to go on, but too amazing to be saved. if i could open your arms and speak your words through whiskey and confidence, my thrust wouldn't taste so brutal.----------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------rain is tears with no emotion. the only thing that i said was soulful. i'm not coming for you, so please do come to me. i watched the sunrise this morning so i wouldnt miss living. i held up all night looking at the picture in your room, and i felt wasted in imagination. i could hold myself much higher than i do already, so shoot me down from this peak. shoot me down with bullets, shoot me down with words. just bring me back to a world where i can whisper in your ears. i wish they ought to be california girls because there is no arizona. arizona is just a place where you can pretend to be stranded. make believe its perfect. midwest girls are too nice to keep the lips-a-moving. that why i settle six wide of the city. ladies and compliment. if dreams come true i'm dreaming.--------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------you bring the baggage. i'll believe your happy and say i'm happy too. but when do days like these hold hands with nights like those? break the ice and quiet. its too cold to speak and i've only met you. i dont mean to embarass you, but are you lonely? do you talk in two tones at night? do you wish that laughing came natural? dont be shy. just drink and say your happy. i am. i'm as happy as primer white on a forgotten wall. i'm brand new. would you like me to descibe the extent of happyness i feel right now? its insurmountable, or momentary. could i say that that your smile is primer white, but i see a forgotten wall inside of you. i see a girl that hasn't kissed a boy. i wont mean to say to much but i've lost days of sunshine for nights with you. your face is all red. your face is already up against mine and this night swings your way.-------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------so everybody has their favorite. and dont worry you picture well. i only burned your memoirs, so i could hear the way you speak the moment when i leave the room. your house is locked so i climbed in through the window and snuck in past your parents. i opened up your eyes with the sound of whisper, and sang you back to sleep. if only it could be that emotional. thats only a dream i have when i fall asleep alone and wake up in your arms. you really cant open up your eyes and see what i'm seeing on this wall, because you wouldnt understand. a wall is a wall to you and a wall is everything to me. i'm so in love with metaphorical bullshit that i hide in my own fantasy. if your a blonde, hold still and wait for the car-crash. if your a brunnet, get the hell out. this is the part where i pretend i'm in love and bust about your eyes. well your eyes are the color of shit and i dont mess with the the likes of you. so take a hint and hold your breath. think its you and understand. i write about the wisdom. i speak about the past tense. i live about the same way everybody else does with a different set of legs. your legs are amazing. can we join them at the hip or is that asking a bit much? the portrait is only a sacrafice and you'd be crazy to think its on you.-------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------you see things happen for a reason because days like these end in nightmares not sunsets. people talk about killing, but who actually kills. when you squeeze your weapon do you think about the rest of you life in jail for life? i cant express more enjoyment to the moment that i am now because the light on this screen illuminates my eyes to believe that your name appears on my telephone. i'll make believe the phone doesnt cut out and i'll run the batery on the land line, but it wont be enough. you wouldnt understand. you not down with the likes of me. ou couldnt get as low as to tell me what you lived before you laid fingers on me. why do you wisper with your friends. are you afraid they might see me with somebody else who might be you? dont say my name too loud. my name is an anomaly. are you leaving? where are you from? when did you get home? i cant strike an alter ego so this explanation of oneself might have to do for this conversation. this is a one on one confrontation. me and the machine. me and the evening. me and the asshole who put his fingers on the origional keyboard to conduct this garbage. go back to sucking your thumb because this bedtime story has a death in the ending, and in your adolescence, i dont think you could understand it. you put the rock in my throat. the cotton in my mouth. the stutter on my lips. this is my sickness, my only disease. dont come closer i'm weak at the knees. ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------ hi my name is tommy sardo and i think your beautiful. ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------ theres a hole in my neck where you missed my chest. its okay for this time, but please dont you ever point your weapen in my general. direction is the picture of east and west where lovers collide. into all the lengths of trying to make a gesture, i always land flat on my stomach. stom