[insert witty and/or perverted one-liner here]

PLEASE do me the courtesy of sending me a message BEFORE you send me a friend request.

Don't take shit from fools, judge a person by what's in them, and do the right thing. Be one of the good guys, because there's way too many of the bad. I'm liberal, I'm weird, and I'm a film buff. I'd rather be happy and poor than miserable and wealthy. I'd rather be alone for the right reasons than in a relationship for the wrong.
Those are the principles I live my life by. If you can't deal, then I've no use for you, so don't waste my time.
My name's Dino. I'm 23 and I just graduated with a major in English and a minor in mass media. Film and literature are my life, they're my two biggest passions. I hope to some day become a published fiction writer as well as a filmmaker. I'm what some people have described as "weird" or bizarre, but I think I'm completely normal -- it's just the rest of the world that's strange. People assume a lot of things about me and most of the time, they're completely wrong. It's become amusing to me to see just how different I really am from the way people perceive me. I'm a hopeless romantic and I put the needs of my friends above everything else.
Right now, I'm prepping my first novel, Fallen, for publication. I'm the assistant coach of the mock trial team at a nearby high school where (once all the paperwork gets sorted out) I'll be substitute teaching as well.
Mostly, I can be found hanging out with my friends, either at a hookah lounge or a bar or the movies. Sometimes I get the urge to write in different environments, so you might find me with my laptop at a coffee shop or hookah lounge working on my latest novel and/or script. I like to think of myself as a pretty creative guy. I love messing with conventions -- as my editor and friend told me, my style is so unconventional that she just wants to change everything (not sure if that's a good thing or a bad).
My creative influences include but are not limited to Kurt Vonnegut, William S. Burroughs, Grant Morrison, Chuck Palahniuk, Shane Black, Philip K. Dick, Joe Casey, Haruki Murakami, Bret Easton Ellis, David Lynch, Hunter S. Thompson, Takashi Miike, Bob Dylan and many, many more.
Want to know more about me? Just ask.
What Final Fantasy VII character are you?
You are RENO. Yeah, admit it, you're a smart-ass.
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A TRIBUTE TO NICE GUYS
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all okay and she shouldn't worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing "serious" between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: "oh, but we're just friends!" And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're nice like that.
The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as "oh, he's too nice to date" or "he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me" or "he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!" or the most frustrating of all: "no, it would ruin our friendship." Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I'm going to sleep with this complete ass now!).
But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating
You're not ready to go walking down the aisle. But you may be ready in a couple of years. You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment. And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility. What's Your Ideal Relationship?
..tr You Belong in the UK
Blimey!
A little proper, a little saucy.
You're so witty and charming...
No one notices your curry breath ..table What English Speaking Country Do You Belong In?
..tr Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover
You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires. And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek. You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships. It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is. ..table What Is Your Seduction Style?
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Which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle are You?

Leonardo
You're mature and get the job done. You are a natural born leader, and normally want to be the better of the group. You take your job seriously. You must! It may NOT be a game. When you select a sport, or something you want to do, you train continueously, constantly trying to perfect it. You're always prepared for a challenge, and are normally found one step ahead of your enemies. Loving family more than life itself, you are a good friend, and can be depended on at all times.
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Your Five Variable Love Profile
Propensity for Monogamy:
Your propensity for monogamy is high. You find it easy to be devoted and loyal to one person. And in return, you expect the same from who you love. Any sign of straying, and you'll end things.
Experience Level:
Your experience level is high. You've loved, lost, and loved again. You have had a wide range of love experiences. And when the real thing comes along, you know it!
Dominance:
Your dominance is low. This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced. You know a relationship is not about getting your way. And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom.
Cynicism:
Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon.
Independence:
Your independence is medium. In relationships, you need both "me time" and "we time." You usually find it easy to be part of a couple. But occasionally you start to feel a little smothered. The Five Variable Love Test
Your Love Life Secrets Are
Looking back on your life, you will only have one true love.
You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't?
You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky.
In fights, you love to debate and defend yourself. You logic prevails - or at least you'd like to think so.
A break-up usually comes as a shock to you. You always think things are going well. Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed
You Are a Fun Flirt
You just can't help yourself... you flirt with everyone you know. Guys, girls, crushes, and friends. They're all victims to your charm. You're into silly innuendos, sexy jokes, and playful touches. You are a huge flirt, yet you never make anyone (too) uncomfortable! What Kind of Flirt Are You?
You Are 40% Weird
Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it! How Weird Are You?
Your Five Factor Personality Profile
Extroversion:
You have high extroversion. You are outgoing and engaging, with both strangers and friends. You truly enjoy being with people and bring energy into any situation. Enthusiastic and fun, you're the first to say "let's go!"
Conscientiousness:
You have high conscientiousness. Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life. Most things in your life are organized and planned well. But you borderline on being a total perfectionist.
Agreeableness:
You have high agreeableness. You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly. Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone. You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance.
Neuroticism:
You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of.
Openness to experience:
Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything. The Five Factor Personality Test
You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish
You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be. How Boyish or Girlish Are You?
You Are a Peacemaker Soul
You strive to please others and compromise anyway you can. War or conflict bothers you, and you would do anything to keep the peace. You are a good mediator and a true negotiator. Sometimes you do too much, trying so hard to make people happy.
While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental. You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take. On the flip side, you've got a graet sense of humor and wit. You're always dimplomatic and able to give good advice.
Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul What Kind of Soul Are You?
You Are Guinness
You know beer well, and you'll only drink the best beers in the world. Watered down beers disgust you, as do the people who drink them. When you drink, you tend to become a bit of a know it all - especially about subjects you don't know well. But your friends tolerate your drunken ways, because you introduce them to the best beers around. What's Your Beer Personality?
You Communicate With Your Ears
You love conversations, both as a listener and a talker. What people say is important to you, and you're often most affected by words, not actions. You love to hear compliments from others. And when you're upset, you often talk to yourself. Music is very important to you. It's difficult to find you without your iPod. How Do You Communicate?
You're Totally Sarcastic
You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny.
Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it.
And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad. How Sarcastic Are You?
You Are 48% Shy
Although you live a pretty normal life, you tend to be a fairly shy person.
Many situations make you feel uncomfortable, and you sometimes find your shyness hindering your life. How Shy Are You?
You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament
Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace.
You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions.
You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected.
It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional.
You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others.
While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well.
At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything.
You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams.
You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment. What Temperment Are You?