"I was really into bestiality, sadomasochism, and necrophilia, but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse."
"I'd rather have kids than herpes, 'cause at least you can give kids away." - Cemetary Kyle
"Why dont you go back to your home on whore island!" - Ron Burgandy, Anchorman
"Is it still considered stalking if i dont get out of my car, when I drive by your house in the middle of the night?" - Me on stalking a member of my favorite band
The Regular: "Hey, how's my dirty little tart?"
Ginger: "Uuh...dirty."
-Nwr
"He's going to be living with his mother until the day she dies.....and maybe a few weeks after." - Hank Hill
my brother: rock, paper, scissor
me: atom bomb, i win
my brother: oh yeah, well, im the ATOMIC bomb
"Vita, there are times you help people, and then there are time if you help people, you get killed, so you dont help people." - Noxzema, To Wong Fu
"Why does everybody hate the rich? We're just like everybody eles, except better." - Rebecca, Passions
"You kids get to be middle aged and you think you know everything." - Sofia, Golden Girls
"I dont sell crack; I'm a prostitute!" - some random hooker on the best episode of COPS ever, a few months later they went back to her house and busted her for a meth lab
"Drunk is synonymous with popular. God Im so popular right now!" - Jessie, at a party
"Ashley, are you popular right now?" - Jessie at another party
"They put glitters on me! Why'd you let them put glitters on me?!" - Trevor, complaining about his makeover at TFO
"I'm a grocery refugee." - Anna
"Now that your sister is driving, i would ike to dedicate 'I Hope You Die' to her. And everyone else." - Bethany
"We're the best of freinds. He loves me. And by that, I mean he doesnt even know my name." - Bethany
"I want a quote on you page." - Becky Blank
"We're kind of short handed right now b/c Sally cut off her thumb, i guess she's a little short handed too." - Bethany
"now maybe its somesort of satanic thing with human sacrafice and backward rock music, or maybe they're jsut communists....." - neighbor, meet the applegates
"I dont think cigarettes are that bad for you. I think tobaco is a vegatable." - Chyan, Reba
"We were going through a box of Christmas decorations, and we found a Christmas.... rat." - Eric, That 70's Show
"Youre Japanese! Fold, damnit, fold!" - Kyle to me
"I cant help it, it jsut makes me smile everytime i see her unhappy." - Kristin
"Its called a double standard b/c its twice as true." - Ryan stole that from something
"Im pretty sure the plague wouldnt spred as fast as gossip does around here." - Ryan
"It was like punk rock Dinio's." - Jerry Perry on Warped Tour '05, Marysville
"I HATE LIME JELLO!.....except sometimes i like it" - me after i ate a lime jell-o shot
"AAAAAAAA, MY WALL!" - Meghan while playing Legos
"I'm playing with my llegos." - me and kristin
Kristin: I wonder if kids in Mexico play with llegos.
Me: I'm pretty sure they play with legos, since there's still only one "L" in the word.
"You can drink when you're able to drive." - Papus' dad, House of D
"Ok, which one of you fuckers puked in the tub?!" - Cjay, oh man that was the craziest weekend ever
"stupid jesus, dying for our sins. how selfish?!" - Ryan making fun of me complaining about easter
"oh that's right, i forgot there was a briss in the parking lot." - kyle, about me going to see kristin triming liz's mohawk
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