Patrick Bateman profile picture

Patrick Bateman

Not the fucking face, you piece of bitch trash!

About Me

My name is Patrick Bateman. I am twenty-eight years old. I live in the American Gardens Building on West Eighty-First Street, on the eleventh floor. I believe in taking care of myself, in a balanced diet, in a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the icepack, I use a deep pore-cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water-activated gel cleanser, then a honey-almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb mint facial masque which I leave on for ten minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after-shave lotion with little or no alcohol because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm, followed by a final moisturizing "protective" lotion...There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping you and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there. I have all the characteristics of a human being- flesh, blood, skin, hair-but not a single clear, identifiable emotion except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside me and I don't know why.mspmb allowScriptAccess="never" allownetworking="internal" allowScriptAccess="never" allownetworking="internal" enableJavascript="false" allowScriptAccess="never" allownetworking="internal" allowScriptAccess="never" style='display:none' src=

My Interests

Fitting in, listening to music, being articulate, disarticulating limbs, homicidal behavior, exercise, personal hygiene, cutlery, homeless persons, power tools, having reservations, returning videotapes, ATM machines, kittens, a good dry cleaner, dissecting young women, Oliver People's eyeglasses, Valentino suits, a fine chardonnay that you're not drinking.

I'd like to meet:

I'd like a girl, early twenties, blonde, who does couples. Couples. Fifty-five West Eighty-First, the American Gardens Building. Apartment 7C. And I really can't stress blonde enough. Blonde.

Music:

Huey Lewis and the News, Whitney Houston, George Michael, Robert Palmer, Phil Collins, Genesis. Patrick's Late Night Party Mix via Webjay

Movies:

Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Inside Lydia's Ass.

Books:

A disclaimer: Should any female engage in communications either through email messages or those of the instant variety I shall believe that you fully intend to engage in illicit behavior with said described fictional character and/or profile administrator, or conversely, that you have some morbid fascination with murder and wish for me to describe how I can mutilate your pretty little body. At the very least I expect lewd descriptions of sex acts, or some dilacerate part of your physique that I can fondle when I'm alone.

Heroes:

Ed Gein, Ted Bundy.

My Blog

Patrick Bateman overpopulation.

Due to the overpopulation of myspace with a number of profiles in homage to Patrick Bateman, the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation has joined forces with myspace regulatory perso...
Posted by Patrick Bateman on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Gorbachev and the models.

I was at Au Bar the other night with Timothy Bryce and Craig McDermott. I was left talking to these models Daisy and Caron while McDermott left to procure some Bolivian Marching Powder. They...
Posted by Patrick Bateman on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

On the homeless epidemic.

As I walked home from Evelynn's the other night, I had the misfortune of running into one of our fine city's undesirables. He was visibly filthy, wearing torn lime green slacks with old jeans atop, an...
Posted by Patrick Bateman on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

A conversation with my attorney.

I've informed my lawyer because I thought that heshould know-I've killed a lot of people. Some escort girls, in an apartment uptown, some homeless people, maybe five or ten, an NYU girl I met in Centr...
Posted by Patrick Bateman on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Whitney Houston

Did you know that Whitney Houston's debut LP called simply Whitney Houston had four number-one singles on it? Whitney's voice leaps across so many boundaries and is so versatile-though she's mainly a ...
Posted by Patrick Bateman on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Phil Collins

Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that I really didn't understand any of their work. It was too artsy, too intellectual. It...
Posted by Patrick Bateman on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Huey Lewis

You like Huey Lewis and the News? Their early work was a little too New wave for my taste. But then Sports came out in 1983, I think they reallycame into their own, commercially and artistically. The ...
Posted by Patrick Bateman on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST