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WHAT'S YOUR FULL NAME?
Neil Neil McGrath McGrath (My rap name is NNMM). Also known as Spring Heel Neil, The MAIN Burger, M Bizzle & THE FELLA WITH THE GRATER
WHAT ARE YOU READING?
These questions.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Don't have one. I use a strip of green industrial carpet, better traction for mouse related action. Seems to be taking off too, I see a few people copying me lately.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE BOARD GAME?
Buckaroo, but we play a "Drugs Mule" version where ole Bucky has to carry chunks of cannibus on his back. He can usually hold about a half ounce (50 quids worth) before he bucks.
FAVOURITE MAGAZINE?
Obsessive Compulsive Monthly. I just HAVE to buy it. 5 times. And then I wash my hands before and after reading it.
BABIES?
I've learnt my lesson the hard way, the one I already have looks so much like me I haven't a hope in hell of denying it to avoid child support. So much for strong genes.
FAVOURITE SOUND?
People falling from over 50ft. Second favourite is people landing from previously mentioned height.
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
Waking up after a house party with Hammer & Arm toothpaste smeared all over ur face, Vics Vapo-Rub on your eyelids and a betting shop pencil shoved halfways into your jap's eye.
FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING?
Wonder if she'll be in the mood for some now...
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
I rarely answer the phone any more. People only ring you if they want something from you. When was the last time anyone rang you to actually offer YOU something?
FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?
50 P Lo Diddy Shakira L. Casei Immunitas Chamone McGrath...or Rap Yoghurt for short.
WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE?
The F. Without that Life would be a Lie.
IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
The Vernier Caliper. An extremely precise measuring instrument.
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?
I drive a Fiat Punto, what do you think?
SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
I'd sleep with a stuffed dead person for a dare. You're not allowed to stuff dead people tho are you? Pity because I would stuff one for a dare too.
WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
Fiat Punto. Or the Fiat Tinfoil would be more appropriate. Head gasket went 5 miles from Carrick. I left it there. Haven't seen or heard from it since.
WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO?
Christopher Wallace. Dylan Thomas. Elvis Presley. Brian Jones. Peter Sellers. Bing Crosby. Jack Kerouac. George Harrison. River Phoenix. Nick Drake. Mic Christopher. James Dean. Ian Curtis. Luke Kelly. Jimi Hendrix. Buddy Holly. Kurt Cobain. Flann O'Brien. Am very interested in their art and works, but I don't really know what I would have say to any of em in person, I think I'm happier just to look and listen really...
FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
Baileys & Hennessey w/ 2 ice. Expensive whiskey (Old Pulteney or Jameson Triple).
WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR?
One of those universal barriers to stop the dog getting into the back seat. Some dog tho. Pedigree Golden Retriever.
DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
I would eat stem cells for a dare.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I would be the Minister for Confectionaries, Indecent Exposure & DVD Box Sets.
WHO'S LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Christopher Reeve. I was tactful enough to take out the question about "typing with your fingers on the right keys" when I sent this to him however.
EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
I've been renting a place there since I was 17. Still ain't bought a house.
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?
I don't see it like that, I see it more like the glass has only reached half of its liquid containment potential. I'm rooting for the glass to suceed tho.
DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
The ones I press seem to create the right letters I'm looking for so I can't complain...have been accused of pushing the wrong buttons with people sometimes tho, and I can't speed text which I am proud of. I think the death penalty should be introduced for people who won't stop texting.
WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
A secret trap door which leads down into an intricate network tunnels and caves. Osama is there right now, trying out the new "Kenyan Blend" Lyon's tea bags and dipping the last of the wholemeal Hob Nobs into the cup. Please do not forward this email to the FBI. Feel free to try the Kenyan Blend tho, myself and my best mate Barr are after getting well into it now.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER?
70.422 actually.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH?
The lesser known Asian Hide & Seek championships were a joy last time round...it was won by Lo Kee.
SAY AT LEAST ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
BEW TAY with the most CU TAY BOO TAY....honestly I would so love to do her in the ass
IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE WHERE WOULD IT BE?
Somewhere secluded because I have pretty bizarre plans for my house which I don't wish to impose on other people with. (See idea 426 attached and in the photo gallery)
WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING
During the week I love hip hop stuff, baggy pants and a hoody, anything comfortable. At the weekend tho it's usually my girlfriends lace underwear for even more comfort.
BEACH, MOUNTAINS OR CITY?
Beach & Mountains. The last one doesn't even deserve to be mentioned in the same breath.
TECHNOLOGY OR ART?
Technological Art mainly, like Picasso style robots with 3 eyes and yellow sweaters or Roman Statues with Blue-Tooth capabilities.
COMEDY OR HORROR?
Has to be Horrible Comedy doesn't it...real jokes are meant to kill.
FAVOURITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE SEX(S)TO WHICH YOU ARE ATTRACTED?
A nice round booty medium to xtra large, small but cute elbows and healthy fully functioning liver & kidneys.
FAVOURITE TIME OF DAY?
Gotta be 6 minutes to 2 in the afternoon. Hands down.
THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT?
Teach Yourself Colonic Irrigation.
WHERE'S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE TO BE?
At my favourite beach lost in a daydream. Tho when I'm taking LSD I like to visit Galaxian Sector 5b.
FAVOURITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED?
Prostate Gland.
WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY?
Well I consider myself a bit of a thinker, but I'd rather be 50 Cent than Stephen Hawking at the same time...
WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
I work nites so I only get to bed in the morning. Tis lovely coming home tho and seeing everyone else with a sleepy head coming towards me on their way to work. And I don't have to suffer the same because when I'm going to work it's dark and I drive with no lights on the car.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE?
Absolutely not, tho that may come back to haunt me. But it would be deadly to go somewhere after u die and collect your stats (no. of cups of tea you drank, no. of people that fancied you, no. of times you said "fuck", no. of times you helped someone etc. etc. etc.) for EVERYTHING you ever wanted. Be great to get your life on a DVD box set aswell and sit in a few evenings for a look. Love to know what the extras would be like on mine.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON?
I enjoy all of them immensely. Cajun seasoning is also something I greatly appreciate.
YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
America. And then I would disarm it.
WHICH DO YOU PREFER SUSHI OR HAMBURGER?
I hear there are Sushi Burgers you can get now. I'm not frightened. Everyone knows I'm still The Main Burger.
IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT?
Elvis (on my left shoulder). I hear it's a popular choice in the travelling community also.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE DAY?
Too hard to say, even the fellow who invented the week could only narrow it down to his favourite seven so I won't argue with him.
OF THE PEOPLE YOU WILL EMAIL THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND
There are probably people who have permanently blocked my email before even getting to this question.
WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM?
Ruthy (The Cutey With The Booty). I so wanna do her in the ass.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CARTOON?
Tom & Jerry, Goofy on his own, Scooby Doo, X-Men, Spiderman, SpongeBob Squarepants & The Pink Panther. Used to like Inspector Gadget, Ullyses in the 31st Century, Ghostbusters, Batman, How The Body Works, Garfield and Snoopy when I was a kid too.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE MEAL?
Salt n Vinegar crisps. My girlfriend likes to put a Choc Mallow on each nipple and make me eat them off which is great also.
IF YOU COULD TAKE A VACATION ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD IT BE?
The Hatch.
DO YOU HAVE PETS?
A beautiful golden retriever called Ben and a hamster called Elephant. We have literally hundreds of small spiders roaming around our house (honestly) aswell but we don't mind them at all, I quite like them to be honest. I think they like us too. All creatures great and small, that's where it's at :-)