The Clare. profile picture

The Clare.

I ran out of sick days, so I called in dead.

About Me


WORD.
I'm a typical split-personality Gemini type. Super chilled one minute, crazy motherfucker the next.
I take delight in making bizarre animal-like sounds, and also talking in my own weird made up language. My partner in crime/number one bitch, Liam, is the only one who understands the concept. It's special.
Marmalade is my current unexplained obsession. If Paddington Bear were a girl bear, i'd be the human equivalent.
I enjoy mocking people endlessly and/or giving them strange looks for no apparent reason. You either get my humour or you don't.
If you don't you're an ass hat.
The Incredible Hulk shockingly resembles my other half when ENRAGED (minus the green skin).
If you have the overwhelming urge to know more about me (most people do), just ask, though it's unlikely i'll answer you as it's basically none of your business.
*smiles sweetly*
HA!
P.S. I feel I should apologise for my abundance of stereotypical "MySpace pose" photos - i've just being having WAY too much fun with my new camera phone.

My Interests

I'm GENERALLY awesome (get it?)

I'd like to meet:


Eddie Vedder, natch.

That Mike Patton's a bit of a genius too...

Ron Burgundy.

Russell Brand and his ways :)

J.J. Abrams, so I can shake his hand!

Also, this crazy bastard :

Music:

So soooo much, and quite a variety.
Old favourites include : Alice In Chains, AMERICAN HEAD CHARGE, Audioslave, Anthrax, Aerosmith, The Beatles, Bob Dylan, Brad, Beastie Boys, Beck, Blink 182, The Breeders, CHRIS CORNELL, Coldplay, The Cure, DEFTONES, The Distillers, The Dandy Warhols, Eels, FAITH NO MORE, Fear Factory, Foo Fighters, Fiona Apple, Funeral For A Friend, Fun Lovin' Criminals, GREEN DAY, Hole, INCUBUS, Jimmy Eat World, Jane's Addiction, Jeff Buckley, Jack Off Jill, Jimi Hendrix, Killswitch Engage, Korn, The Kinks, Led Zeppelin, The Lemonheads, Mad Season, MANIC STREET PREACHERS, Mudvayne, Machine Head, METALLICA, Mazzy Star, Marilyn Manson, NIRVANA, Neil Young, NO DOUBT, NOFX, One Minute Silence, PEARL JAM, Pixies, Pink Floyd, Portishead, Peaches, Prodigy, Queens Of The Stone Age, Radiohead, Raging Speedhorn, Rage Against The Machine, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Rob Zombie, SOUNDGARDEN, Silverchair, Sepultura, Snot, THE SMASHING PUMPKINS, Stone Temple Pilots, The Strokes, SYSTEM OF A DOWN, Strapping Young Lad, Sikth, Sheryl Crow, Super Furry Animals, Temple Of The Dog, Tenacious D, Tool, Travis, U2, The Velvet Underground, Weezer, Yeah Yeahs Yeahs... SO much more.
And stuff i'm just getting into : 36 Crazyfists, Alkaline Trio, Avenged Sevenfold, Biffy Clyro, Children Of Bodom, The Haunted, Imogen Heap, Joshua Radin, The Killers, Kings Of Leon, KT Tunstall, Lamb Of God, Mindless Self Indulgence, Mastodon, Opeth, Ray Lamontagne, The Shins, Schuyler Fisk, Snow Patrol, Turin Brakes, Wolfmother, The Zutons.
(Also, Trivium's latest album - AMAZINGLY funny).
There are probably hundreds of bands i've left out, but i'm sure you get the jist.
I'm also partial to the occassional bout of hippity hop!

Movies:

Tenacious D In The Pick Of Destiny, Wayne's World 1 and 2, Empire Records, Donnie Darko, The Virgin Suicides, Singles, American Beauty, The Last Kiss, Garden State, Stranger Than Fiction, Pleasantville, Good Will Hunting, Lost In Translation, The Rules Of Attraction, High Fidelity, V For Vendetta, From Dusk Till Dawn, Pulp Fiction, The Prestige, The Superhero movies (y'know, Spiderman, Superman, Batman, X-Men, all that jazz), Transformers, The Wedding Singer, Shaun Of The Dead, Hot Fuzz, Anchorman : The Legend Of Ron Burgundy (probably the funniest film EVER), South Park - The Movie, Team America : World Police, The Naked Guns, This Is Spinal Tap, ALL of Michael Moore's stuff... I could go on and on.

Television:

LOST (it's turned me into a crazy person!!), SCRUBS, The Office, Extras, Heroes, Prison Break, Blackadder, That Mitchell & Webb Look, Peep Show, Bottom, Father Ted, South Park, Drawn Together... umm, Friends, and also Sex And The City (i'm a chick, i'm allowed) :p

Books:

I've been known to like a bit of Plath, Vonnegut and Orwell...
Michael Moore's books are amazing in the sense that they amuse and depress me at the same time.
I also love flicking through my massive stash of art books (Van Gogh, Pollock, Munch, Warhol, etc.), 'cause they're pretty, like.

Heroes:

My Nanna, God bless her soul, for staying feisty and full of character 'til the very end (R.I.P. Nan, we love you and miss you).
Liam, my wonderful (extremely mental) love. :)
Randy Marsh. A cartoon GOD.
Wolverine (well, Hugh Jackman as Wolverine...)
'Sawyer' (Josh Holloway) from Lost.
Wentworth Miller, the smouldering sultry dude of Prison Break fame.
NIGEL TUFNELL.
Zach Braff... ledge.
Also after reading "My Booky Wook", my love and admiration for Russell Brand has grown immensely.
Special shout out to my pet goldfish Steve, for living so long (he's 87).
Musical legends, Pearl Jam, who's music has accompanied me through most of my adolescent life. Their lyrics and melodies tug on my heartstrings big-stylee.
Those who fight for animal, environmental, human rights. EVERYONE should try and do their bit.
HSUS MySpace Page | Get web badges
OH, and SPONSOR ME, you bastards :
http://secure.greenpeace.org/visitor/index.php?event_id=main &action=profile&participant_id=586180001193948019

My Blog

Hangovers Defined.

1 Star Hangover - No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be delighted you are able to function relatively well....
Posted by The Clare. on Fri, 27 Oct 2006 06:38:00 PST

Personality Test.

Hmm. Turns out I need some kind of "help"... "Stability 26"? Ouch.       Still, it's all fun.   Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||| 50% Stabi...
Posted by The Clare. on Wed, 16 Aug 2006 07:27:00 PST

Flanimals.

This is Blobmeister Dicky Dick Dick Cock Cock Cock. He originates from Swindon. He has curly-wurly antennae which serve no purpose whatsoever. His diet consists of Geraniums, olives, currants and Luc...
Posted by The Clare. on Mon, 22 May 2006 02:36:00 PST

Things That Men Are Proud Of.

1. OPENING JARS - She's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are men's work. 2. CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policem...
Posted by The Clare. on Wed, 26 Apr 2006 03:33:00 PST

The Progenies of David Hasselhoff.

1.David Hasselhoff once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors. 2. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures David Hasselhoff allows to live. 3. When D...
Posted by The Clare. on Thu, 30 Mar 2006 06:49:00 PST