Robbe!!! Knife!!! Fight!!! - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I really want Chuck Klosterman to bash my band in an upcoming novel. I want to travel with several people in a motor vehicle, while sitting in a large container of water so I can carpool in a car pool. I hate checking my voicemail, it's up there with gas chambers and rooting for the Yankees on the "Things I'm Into" list. For my birthday this year, I want a booking agent wearing a sticker that says, "Hello, my name is: Andrew Ellis." Besides being a pop-rock star, my unrealistic life dream is to get a kill screen on Ms. Pac-Man arcade game. If you're allergic to nerds you should've stopped before that last sentence. I'm in a great band. Consequently, I am broke as essay chai tea. But I am happy and successful in that "I could be a good story on Oprah" kind of way. The good news is that my job only sucks half the year (when I'm home), whereas probably yours and most of the people you know's jobs suck pretty much all the time. And when you die, you don't even get to keep the money!! Whammy. One day my band will be big and will "make it" and will show everyone that we weren't out of our minds, except when either staying at the Plu or Lorien houses. I want to be more like Jesus, but man, he really set the bar high.
pretty much the sweetest band ever.

My Interests

alliegators. and...i probably love sleeping more than anything ever. i love it so much i want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant. writing. bowling, poker, dice, darts, golf. steelers and orioles. djarum cigarettes. sarcasm. dark humor. crosswords. drinks and drinks and drinks. fireworks. scrabble. witty people. bmw m3's. campfires. people-watching. and of course, jesus.

I'd like to meet:

1 and always) conan o'brien. and then make out...er...hang out with him. or at least touch the wave.
2) willacker, more than just once a month.

Music:

afi. alkaline trio. arcade fire. as tall as lions. band of horses. the beatles. bob dylan. brand new. coldplay. colour revolt. death cab. the format. further seems forever. interpol. jenny lewis. johnny cash. jimmy eat world. kanye west. the killers. lily allen. lorien. lovedrug. manchester orchestra. margot and the nuclear so and so's. matt pond PA. mew. minus the bear. modest mouse. nada surf. the national. nico. okkervil river. paper route. pedro the lion. plu. the postal service. radiohead. red house painters. rocky votolato. the shins. the smiths. sigur ros. simcoe street mob. sufjan stevens. the snake the cross the crown. tegan and sara. the violet burning. u2. weezer. youth group. also, 'this american life' podcasts and other select NPR ones as well.

Movies:

everything by wes anderson. almost famous. american history x. american movie. braveheart. city of god. crash. the deer hunter. the departed. donnie darko. eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. fight club. garden state. the goonies. harold & maude. lord of the rings. lost in translation. moonlight mile. no direction home. old school. pan's labyrinth. rounders. saved. step into liquid. the virgin suicides. wayne's world.

Television:

30 rock. arrested development. band of brothers. clark and michael.com. conan o'brien. curb your enthusiasm. entourage. freaks and geeks. friday night lights. heroes (1st season). it's always sunny in philadelphia. the office (bbc the most, and also the american). rock of love. seinfeld.

it's always sunny in philadelphia. amazing.

Books:

roald dahl (adult and kids stories). jeffery eugenides. malcolm gladwell. nick hornby. chuck klosterman. flannery o'connor. david sedaris. and as dumb as it sounds, "on the road" for taking me where i am now.

Heroes:

risk-takers. like bob maplethorpe, getaway driver. and ali bukhari, for getting away with being a terrorist for like the last 5 years.

My Blog

Coke Whores and Clowns

This is kind of sad. The setting: An episode of COPS. Classic show. Every person in the world thinks it's original and still funny to sing the theme song when passing someone pulled over to the side ...
Posted by Robbe!!! Knife!!! Fight!!! on Wed, 26 Dec 2007 01:17:00 PST

A Weird Writing Thing That’s Totally Something an English Grad Who’s Currently Bored Would Do.

I haven't done anything creative in awhile, so here's something (kind of).We'll bury it beneath the floorboards. Where moths and rust will tend to it daily, even hourly. It's become both the worst of ...
Posted by Robbe!!! Knife!!! Fight!!! on Fri, 16 Nov 2007 10:32:00 PST

Come Get Your Real Important Life Discussions Right Here

Discussion topic 1: Would it be actually possible for a band to cover a Nickelback song and make it sound listenable or even tolerable without having the listener either a) question the existence of G...
Posted by Robbe!!! Knife!!! Fight!!! on Tue, 17 Jul 2007 11:46:00 PST

No Fear Apparel- Bringin' It Back

It's been too long. For the past several months, I've wrestled with the loss of certain parts of my wardrobe circa 1993, which surprisingly aren't my JNCO jeans that I know instantly came to your mind...
Posted by Robbe!!! Knife!!! Fight!!! on Fri, 02 Mar 2007 10:31:00 PST

Worst Sidekicks Ever (Part 1)

Natalya (of James Bond 007 for N64) - The most frustrating sidekick ever. I get it, she's hot. However, it's her own damn fault she was double-crossed by Boris. But being the nice (and eternall...
Posted by Robbe!!! Knife!!! Fight!!! on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 12:31:00 PST

what i'd like on my tombstone

first of all, i think about this a lot, just because i want to make sure it's something funny or unique or will stop people on their way to someone else's grave and maybe they'll laugh or just give a ...
Posted by Robbe!!! Knife!!! Fight!!! on Fri, 29 Dec 2006 01:45:00 PST

Music Right Now and a Conspiracy Theory Concerning Black Girls Named Angie/Angela

Bands or songs i really like or am listening to:1) my profile song, "slower is better" by andrew neil. a friend we met in nashville on our last tour. he's amazing.2) deas vail - one of the best b...
Posted by Robbe!!! Knife!!! Fight!!! on Mon, 27 Nov 2006 01:10:00 PST

My Take on The Outfield's "Your Love"

Dear Josie, I write you this letter knowing you're having a good holiday with Carla and Stephanie down in Thailand. London sucks as usual. I have to catch the tube in the bloody rain while you're off...
Posted by Robbe!!! Knife!!! Fight!!! on Wed, 15 Nov 2006 01:05:00 PST

does this seem hypocritical?

so the pope grows balls and makes a comment about Islam being a violent religion. the response to this is to riot in the streets, murder a nun, and burn effigies of the pope. the pope, reali...
Posted by Robbe!!! Knife!!! Fight!!! on Thu, 21 Sep 2006 11:03:00 PST

top eight madness

i'm only writing this because i know some people actually care about being removed from top 8 lists or whatever. so if any of you care, i'm sorry to hear that. i've decided from now on to randomly swi...
Posted by Robbe!!! Knife!!! Fight!!! on Thu, 13 Jul 2006 12:04:00 PST