Beth profile picture

Beth

I am here for Friends

About Me

I'm a bad mamma-jamma with a penchant for Crime Scene Investigating...or rather, watching CSI. I'm a self-proclaimed animal hoarder...if you abandon it, I'll take it in! (This obviously excluded pachyderms and other large animals) I have 5 children right now (RIP Fonzi & Chachi) - Potsie, Doc, Joanie, Pinky and Zoey Zoe. I'm a CSR, but I want to work with animals, so anyone who has any job openings for a small animal handler, please...pass them along. I'm married. He's pretty excellent.

My Interests

Writing...short stories, poetry, haven't written a novel in a while, but those are fucking hard.I like to do puzzles and color. That sounds gay, but I find it soothing.Animals, visiting them, petting them, taking care of them. I shop at Petsmart on a daily basis. Though if anyone's aware of any wholesale or warehouse like pet stores, let me know. I buy in bulk.I love to read. Favorite authors include: Palahniuk, Burroughs, cummings, Carroll and Wallace. They're some crazy guys.

I'd like to meet:

St. Francis of Assisi - because we're kindred. I'd like to meet Jesus. He seems neat. Chuck Palahniuk - my favorite author. A man who can write a book of which the premise is so completely absurd it seems campy...until you start reading it and can't stop. Glorious.

Music:

I will listen to anything. I love Flaw, Johnny Cash, Foo Fighters, Breaking Benjamin, Matchbox Twenty and basically anything else catchy. Don't really like that roar-into-the-microphone music. I think it's made by hacks who don't have anything substantial to say, so they hide it by shouting unintelligibly into the damn microphone.

Movies:

Rocky Horror Picture Show, anything with sexy transvestite men (see: Velvet Goldmine, Hedwig, Priscilla, etc). All Muppet Movies (except Kermit's Swamp Years...who the fuck was doing his voice? Sure as shit wasn't a Henson). And Walk the Line - hey! did you know they sang all their own songs in that movie?Also like any horror movie that's psychological. Really like 28 Days Later. That aspect of human nature scares the piss out of me.Favorite type of movies are the kind that have all these different stories going on at one time and they all lead together some how. Got a little collection of those so if anyone knows of any really good ones, let me know.

Television:

All in the Family, South Park, Sopranos (when it was good), Sex and the City, Oz (when it was on), CSI (only the original - Las Vegas). House of Carters.

Books:

Aaaw sheeeeet...ALL Palahniuk books (ie: Diary, Fight Club, Haunted, Survivor, Stranger Than Fiction, Monsters, etc). His new book is coming out this Spring - is anyone else as excited as me!?!I really liked Augusten Burroughs, author of "Running with Scissors"...well, at least, I like his memoirs. Wasn't a big fan of Sellevision.F Scott Fitzgerald's "The Great Gatsby"...again, human nature is a bitch, but so gd fascinating.The Bible is pretty interesting too.Daniel Wallace's books...Big Fish, Watermellon king, Ray in Reverse.Also starting to like Larsen...read "Devil in the White City" and my husband got me "Thunderstruck" (sort of same premise) for Christmas. Hoping to start that after I finish Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Of course, and as always, if anyone has any recommendations for books, I will more than likely pick it up and read it.

Heroes:

My husband, first and foremost. My family, all of them in their own way which it would take too long to mention. And Arthur Fonzarelli Marszalek.

My Blog

Fuckin’ French People...

I just read this in a book I'm currently involved with - Me Talk Pretty One Day, by David Sedaris.  It was really funny and the language barrier combined with the futile explanation of...
Posted by Beth on Mon, 01 Oct 2007 10:01:00 PST

Booyah fuckers!

I'm in the car, going to get lunch for my co-workers.  I'm listening to this song I heard the night before on my way home.  It's playing again, on Q101.  The voice on the other end of t...
Posted by Beth on Thu, 06 Sep 2007 11:30:00 PST

Simpsons fans, you’ve pissed me off one too many times....

'Back to the Future' Ride Bound for Past Sep 3, 6:20 AM EST A ride that took theme park visitors "Back to the Future" is about to be relegated to the past. The Universal Studios Hollywood ride based ...
Posted by Beth on Tue, 04 Sep 2007 08:21:00 PST

You have your Simpsons, I have my Sex

...in the City.  Hahahahah...but seriously folks.  I don't know if anyone is even remotely as interested in this as me (well, maybe my sister) but there is going to be a Sex in the City movi...
Posted by Beth on Fri, 10 Aug 2007 01:19:00 PST

For Posterity (and by Posterity, I mean my fellow Jesus Campers)

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colorado (CNN) -- The Rev. Ted Haggard agreed Saturday to resign as leader of the megachurch he started in his basement more than 20 years ago after its independent investigative boa...
Posted by Beth on Thu, 19 Jul 2007 01:25:00 PST

Mein Kampf...with tattooing...

So I went to see this movie 1408.  It was good.  I liked it.  John Cusack rules.  This is besides the point.  In the movie, at the beginning (don't worry...no spoilers), there...
Posted by Beth on Tue, 10 Jul 2007 08:02:00 PST

This shit is aging my soul...

So as nobody except my family truly knows...Fonzi...The Fonz...passed away on Thursday.  Everybody at work thinks I was sick for two days.  Truth is...I played hookie on Wednesday to do thi...
Posted by Beth on Fri, 18 May 2007 10:11:00 PST

Seemed Appropriate

...For Holy Thursday!  Ah-ha!  I got you!  Jesus is awesome.  Read on...  A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said,Lord, I would like to know what H...
Posted by Beth on Thu, 05 Apr 2007 08:31:00 PST

Higgidy Piggidy (don't read if you don't like self indulgent surveys)

1. Honestly, how many people have you kissed?How many individual people?  I can remember 7 so I will say 8 or 9 just to be safe. 2.Honestly, what color is your underwear?White with pink and yello...
Posted by Beth on Fri, 23 Mar 2007 09:24:00 PST

Geese are assholes...

I let the dog out at work today and there were some geese in front of the foyer door.  He ran at them, barked, they hopped away quickly.  Now displaced, these geese started looking around to...
Posted by Beth on Tue, 27 Feb 2007 07:43:00 PST