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B_Liciousâ„¢

I am here for Friends

About Me

Hmmmm lets see........i work two jobs(one is only for insurance purposes)....yep that really consumes most of my time. In my free(which is rare, like a steak) time, I enjoy adopting less fortunate children from crack houses, playing hop scotch with the disabled...I work at soup kitchens on my day off...ok so i only go there to steal some food.....fuck all them homeless people, this bitch has got to eat too!! I read books to the blind, especially the ones with the really pretty pictures. I consume MASS quanities of beer in order to satisfy all the ugly men in the world, ugly boys need love too. I help old people half way across the street and than wait to see if they get run over,I donate all my quarters to MDA, I flirt with innocent men and than leave them high and dry once I realize I have captured their heart. I love drinking at bars that serve $1.25 Natty Lights, Ill drink piss for a dollar 25!!! I play the piano for the deaf,I paint pictures for the colorblind, and write books for newborns.I tried to join Mensa once but it was a test from England, my ass aint smart enough to convert pounds and shit to dollar amounts......what?? I recently submitted a picture of my ass crack to the Guiness Book of World Records, I feel that it is abnormally long and perhaps have an record long crack. I still have not heard back from them? One day i plan to create a beer that makes you thin, its gonna happen my friends, just give me some time, with an IQ above average I'am sure I can come up with something!! This layout was handmade with love by the folks at My space or yours? Go get one!

My Interests

Eating fried chicken, watching people, eating, skipping hand in hand, old men in speedos, licking my fingers after eating Doritos, drinking beer, flirting, dancing, laughing, men with mullets or rat tails, Nascar, making out, watching t.v, ghosts or anything paranormal, peeing in bushes, writing in my journal, guys with shaved heads, serial killers, skateboarding drunk, Ice hockey, shitty men, music, eating the snow particles out of snow globes, egging houses, breaking hearts,$ 1.25 Nattys at the loCAL bar, reading the humorous memoirs of Augusten Burroughs, poker, smelling rotten food, chocolate milk, bathing monthly...........

I'd like to meet:

DISCLAIMER: PLEASE DO NOT EMAIL ME ASKING IF I WANT TO CHAT OR LEAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER THINKING I WILL CALL YOU BACK, CAUSE GUESS WHAT?? I WONT..... NOT EVEN IN MOMENTS OF SEVERE DESPERATION!!
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Music:


Movies:

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Television:

Grey's Anatomy, Rob and Big...DO WORK!!!!, Desperate Housewives, Prison Break, Ghost Hunters, TLC, Discovery Health, Reno 911, Scrubs, Destination Truth, That 70's Show, Mystery Diagnonsis....

Books:

The great memoirs of Burroughs and Sedaris...fiction writers Cook, Palmer, Gerritson, Crichton, Cornwell, Brown to name a few! The fart book is also awesome!

Heroes:

Ethiopians, flying cockroach killers, people that have mullets and myself!!

My Blog

Validated!!!

I read a little article by Ernest Hooper in the paper today... this little snippet validates what my insiders and I call JORTS ( An invented acronym for men who wear jean shorts.)"A friend of mine du...
Posted by B_Licious" on Tue, 05 Feb 2008 05:30:00 PST

My space come ons

Ok i get some weird shit on here sometimes so im going to make a blog about it. These are all the weird come ons i get from random people.......this will be updated often!! Needless to say I have neve...
Posted by B_Licious" on Wed, 19 Oct 2005 06:24:00 PST