It's about time for a new goddamn bio! So here's the truth, short and sweet...I (Glenn) was a pineapple child reaped for the blood harvest. Fletch was a gyrating, love automaton sent from the future to save us from Y2K. Jamie is compiled of nano-machines that have collected DNA from the world's drummers and blenders. Zach is hesh. So hesh in fact that his hesh-ness precedes him and travels back in time to tell you about Zach being hesh before you even knew what hesh was. Dane was actually a beer keg that was bitten by a radioactive spider and nursed back to health by bat-wolves. Willi is what happens when you put Jack Daniels, a splash of Coca-Cola, and the ZZ-Top, KISS, and GN'R discographies into a cowboy boot, stir well, refrigerate, serves everybody who wants to taste gold.That's the real deal right there.
