I'd like to meet:
Colossians 3:12-18
12 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14 But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. 15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. 17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.Ecclesiastes 4:12
Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.Heb 4:12
For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.1 Peter 3:1-91 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.8 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.-------------------------
Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.- Philippians 2:4Let no one seek his own, but each one the other's well-being. - 1 Corinthians 10:24Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. - Ecclesiastes 4:9,10Each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband - Ephesians 5:33Can two walk together, unless they are agreed? - Amos 3:3
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AFTER I DO: FOR MEN ONLYPsalms 1:11 Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful; 2 But his delight is in the law of the Lord, And in His law he meditates day and night. 3 He shall be like a tree Planted by the rivers of water, That brings forth its fruit in its season, Whose leaf also shall not wither; And whatever he does shall prosper.
"Afer I Do" has truly been blessed to connect with some of the most amazing people in the Body of Christ! We can't tell you how excited we are about the MEN who have decided to step up and take a stand by making a difference in their marriages, we really thank God for you!
This month we are honored to feature one of our TOP Friends, Dr. "O" in our very first AFTER I DO: FOR MEN ONLY Section!! We thank God for allowing he and his beautiful wife LaShon to be apart of our mission to make a difference in marriage through Christ.Ladies be sure to tell your spouses to check out AFTER I DO: FOR MEN ONLY - It's sure to be just what the Dr. Ordered........."Marriage: You Reap What You Sow"By: Dr. "O"Most people don't understand in marriage, you're guaranteed to get back what you put in. What do I mean by that? Well, after hearing and reading all of the media hype about that blatant attack on Christian marriages, I felt the need to put this to blog. There are holy guidelines on how we are to commit to and treat each other. What we need to understand concerning these guidelines is, if we short change them in any way, our short coming will all come back to haunt us.While we're in the dating phase we lead on the facade that we're "Down for whatever" concerning the well being of the other. We make sure we do whatever it takes to have our partner know and understand that we are what they want and need for the rest of their lives. But, for some reason we feel the need to misunderstand what's said at the altar for our own benefit. We use the excuse "You Married me this way!" as a cop out on actually giving our all for the relationship as well as the other person. "All is well when you to give me 100%, but please don't expect me to go out of my way to give you 100%, you'll just have to deal with the 50% that I have the time for". Let's tackle a few issues and see.Why, is it ok for a man to "wine and dine" his woman and it becomes something that's expected of him, and then find it that he won't receive the same in return? Why is it when a woman comes home to cook every day it becomes expected, and with this expectation all that she does becomes over looked.Why do we not continue to do all that we can to stay physically, emotionally, and mentally attractive to our partners? Have we become so comfortable in our marriages that we feel as if "It doesn't matter how I look he/she better not go anywhere, they just need to take me as I am because this is how they married me!"…lol… That is the silliest comment I've ever heard. In my previous marriage I was taught a lie. I was taught that marriage was about sacrifice, "We have to sacrifice the things we want, need, and like for the likes of the other person!"…WHAT!?!?!? Please don't be fooled by the devil and his modes of deception. Marriage is about sacrifice, but only positive sacrifice. We should never have to "Go Without" in our marriages. We should be able to have whatever is needed, liked, and wanted in our marriages as long as it's FROM OUR SPOUSE ONLY! For example, if LaShon has a need that may conflict with my want, does that mean that she should have to go without her need while I seek my want, or should I go without my want to supply her need? Well, here's what I do. I postpone my want to satisfy her need. Then, she wants nothing more than to satisfy my want, simply because her need has been met. Those who postpone personal wants to meet the needs of their spouse will find that they will be overwhelmed with their wants, just a few minutes later than expected. And, anytime you're overwhelmed with what you want, it's perfect timing.Now, all of that sounds easy huh? Well, think about this the next time you want to go do something fun and your spouse explains to you that they need a back rub. As long as all of the sacrifices are positive, they'll help the relationship, all which in return helps the marriage. But, the problem is, there has to be a suppression of pride to postpone your want to satisfy someone else's need. "Why should I put what I want to the side for your need? I mean, even if I don't give you what you need in exchange for what I want it's not like you're going anywhere anyway. We're married!"Keep in mind, marriage is a ministry, not only to others who see, but to each other. Husbands, if you don't minister to your wife, the devil will, through another man (or woman…it's 2007…lol). Wives, if you don't minister to your husband, the devil will, through another woman (lol…yup…or another man…gross!!!). We can say what we want and try to be over spiritual about a lot of things, but, the devil has been playing this game since day one. Regardless how saved, sanctified, and filled with the Holy Ghost you or they are, the devil is still the devil who comes to steal, kill, and destroy, and will do these very things until he's won. Men, tell your woman the same things you told her while you were dating. If you don't, the devil will send another man to say the same things just to temp her to fall into the commonality of defaulted Christian marriages. Women, stay on your "A" game and maintain whatever (physically) it is that your husband likes. That devil isn't going to send a "homely looking rundown" chick to tempt him. "And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat…." Genesis 3:6. Take notice of the fall of man. Eve SAW the tree was PLEASEANT TO THE EYES, and she then DESIRED its' fruit. That's how it all works.
The devil WILL bring something that appeals to us to trick us into the entertainment of that we see. After that, destruction! This is why it's very important to make sure there is nothing outside of the four walls of your home that could be a temptation. The only way to do this is to make sure that there is everything that appeals to them within the four walls of the marriage. And I say this all to save you from the dumb question that's always asked upon the discovery of infidelity "What does he/she have that I don't?"…lol…yup. All because we feel that it's beneath us to do whatever, however, or whenever. Or should I say, beneath us to postpone our wants for their needs. These are just a couple of areas they are out in the open in Christian marriages. We find ourselves to be too deep and spiritual to please our spouses in EVERY area. Or should I say, minister to the needs of our spouses in EVERY area. This goes for both the husband and wife, stop being so shallow when it comes to pleasing your spouse. Do whatever it takes, and leave no room for the devil to play his games. Fellahs, yes, you still have to wine and dine after the catch. And then, it's in your best interest to get your body looking good and then keep it that way. Take the time to please her and stop rushing through things for your own pleasures and selfishness. This is important, the devil will send a smooth talker but, what can he say that she hasn't heard if you're on your "A" game? What can he propose physically to please her if you've already mastered it? And the same applies to the ladies. Ladies, Please, Please, Please do your best to make sure your body is in the condition it should be. Regardless of how much you weighed while standing at the altar, do your best. Presentation is also a huge part of ministry. Put your best foot forward to look and present your best to your husband, the devil is certainly going to send his best to tempt and minister to him. So, this is another small area where we can't allow the devil to conquer.When we take the time to understand that marriage is a ministry that reflects exactly what we have personally sown into, we all will have a ministerial movement that the devil can't defeat. The devil takes pride in exploiting Christian marriages over the media every day. We have the power to keep our marriages the way God intended. A marriage that is symbolic of Christ and the Church. I love you all; let's make sure we do our best to keep the devil out of our marriages.Stay Up…Stay Blessed!Check out Dr. O's myspace page at:
www.myspace.com/bigo1979ps34_8
Dr. "O"HAVE YOU HUGGED YOUR SPOUSE TODAY?
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ATTENTION ALL PROVERBS 31 WIVES!!
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Laugh, share, connect and be encouraged with other wives from around the world!
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Grace and Peace! Thank you for taking the time to visit "AFTER I DO", we are so excited about what the Lord is doing and how many marriages are being changed and touched through this website! I know we don't always get a chance to say it - but we thank you ALL for your many kind words, comments, emails, and words of encouragement. We thank God for you and your desire to take a stand with us as we unite to save marriages through Christ."The Mills"DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT OUR LATEST BLOGS FOR 2008!
BUILDING TOOLS FOR MARRIAGE 8 things to do together in 2008.1. Invest in a 2008 Calendar. This calendar should be separate from the family calendar and should be posted in your bedroom. These days we all have so many high tech gadgets with all the bells and whistles, but sometimes it's easier to go back to basics. If you don't already have one you can find a nice selection at Wal-Mart. Once you have your calendar sit down together and start planning for the year.2. A Quick Getaway- After a long day at work head to Starbucks or your local coffee house with your spouse. Order tea or coffee and cake and enjoy quality time together.3. Go to the library– Libraries are a great place to go to with your spouse, take out a few romantic poetry books and read to one another. While you are there you can also find low cost DVD's that you can rent for a fraction of the cost you would pay at video stores.4. Date grab bag – Collect business cards from your favorite restaurants, on the back of each write down an activity (movies, miniature golf, walk in the park, mall, etc.) put the cards in a small bag and shake them up, the next time you plan to go out on a date without looking take turns pulling one card from the bag and mutually agree on a restaurant and activity.5. Go to the Mall – Great place to go with your spouse for exercise, window shopping, a bite to eat or ice cream (I usually don't like to do "big" shopping with my spouse – I love him too much to put him through that torment). To spice it up a bit take some money and divide it up equally amongst one another, depending on your budget (like $5, $10, $20, $40, or $50). Separate and take the money and purchase something for your spouse as a token of love, meet back in a mutually agreed upon location and time and exchange gifts.6. Go to a hotel – Hotels are wonderful places to go even if you don't plan on staying the night, dine at one of the restaurants, go to the lobby and relax, remember to take along your digital camera and take pictures in an area with a scenic view.7. Bubble bath for two – next time you stop by Wal-Mart (I know we all love going there) pick up a big bottle of bubble bath and a few scented candles. At the end of a long day, take time to unwind in a romantic bath for two.8. Myspace - Last but not least, be sure to check www.myspace.com/afterido for more romantic ideas, the latest blogs and updates.Top 8 things to Do in 20081. Touch and Agree - Write out a specific prayer list and find scriptures in the bible that coincide with each request. Type it up on your computer and hang it up on your wall. Set aside time each day to pray together in agreement concerning those things.2. Communication – it's such a broad area and it means something different for every couple. Take time to listen to one another, share your dreams, goals, desires and needs with one another.3. Learn to say I'm sorry, deal with past hurts and pain and forgive. Don't allow pride to get in the way, humble yourself and drop your defenses. Remember that we are not perfect but we share a perfect God. Move forward and don't look back.4. Set a regular date night – break out your brand new 2008 calendar and start planning regularly scheduled dates and keep them. (some ideas are listed above).5. Get in shape. Take regular walks together, no need to purchase expensive equipment; find a track at your local park start slow and be consistent. You'll feel great, look great and at the same time strengthen your marriage.6. Have sex more! (no need to elaborate on this) – Most people get quiet when you talk about this but it's one of the top reasons why people get divorced – very important.7. Getaway – I can't tell you how many couples we talk to who haven't been away in years without the kids. Plan to go away for your next anniversary or for a weekend getaway.8. Get out of Debt – and Stay out! - if you are serious about getting out of debt and staying out go to www.careonecredit.com it is debt management program that can get you on the right path to becoming debt free. Financial issues are also one of the most common reasons why people file for divorce.For more TOP 8's check out our blog from January 2008PRAY FOR OUR MARRIAGES AND TAKE A STAND AGAINST DIVORCE
Movies:
Hosea 2: 19-2019 I will make you my wife forever, showing you righteousness and justice, unfailing love and compassion. 20 I will be faithful to you and make you mine, and you will finally know me as LORD.
Television:
RENEWING/MAINTAINING
THE
PASSION & ROMANCE
Fuel for the Fire– “TAKE FIVE†For all of our married couples out there, here are a few ideas that are free or under $5.00 to keep the fuel burning in your fire.• Rent a free (DVD) movie from your local library - add some microwave popcorn and enjoy.• Go to a concert in the park. Check out your local newspaper or recreation department for scheduled events.• Play a board game.• Download music from the internet and create a romantic CD• Eat dinner in and go out for coffee and dessert (share).• Buy a romantic card, flower and or balloon just because.• Create a home spa. Massage oils, warm towels, soft music and candles. (see recipe for romance)• Change the furniture around in your bedroom together to create a new atmosphere.• Write a poem or love letter and mail it to your spouses’ job or to your home.• Text your spouse a romantic/encouraging message.• Take a walk in the park and have someone snap a photo of the two of you on your digital camera. Go to your local drugstore to enlarge it and buy a nice picture frame.• Cut out pictures from old magazines and make a collage (start seeing and creating a new vision for your marriage)• Check out free offerings in town such as museums, aquariums, exhibits, etc.• Go to an open house (Real Estate) even if you already have a home (VISION).• Open up your favorite cookbook, watch a cooking show, or look online for a recipe. Gather the ingredients and make dinner together.• Take a local drive to someplace you’ve never been, pop in a romantic CD, stop for ice cream and enjoy the ride.• Go to the basketball court and shoot hoops together. Lots of one on one body contact (smile).• Go to a local travel agency, pick up brochures and find out about travel destinations. Take time together to review the materials and explore payment plans and target dates.• Go to a bookstore (we like Barnes and Noble) check out the latest books (finances, home improvement, romance/sex, marriage, starting a business, etc.) relax and enjoy dessert in their café.Tips:Be creative
Keep it simple
The thought counts
BROTHERS……………The dollar store is your friend! (cards, balloons, knickknacks, candles, etc)
All things are possible:Empty the change in your pocket each day and put it in a “Love Jar†every so often count the change, take it to your bank and use it for a matinee movie, ice cream, miniature golf, book, CD, DVD, arcade, etc.Can't find a babysitter? Take a personal day off of work during the week (while the kids are in school) and spend the entire day together.No more excuses...
What are you willing to invest?We pray that this blog is a blessing to you, be sure to check back soon.-------------------------------
Books:
BOOK OF THE MONTH FORSAKING ALL
by Teacher Phyllis SandersI am pleased to announce the release of one of our special friends Teacher Phyllis Sanders the author of FORSAKING ALL. Please join us in supporting this woman of God by purchasing a copy of her book. Don't forget to pick up one for your neighbors or co-workers as well!The book is for sale at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble.com and several other on line book stores. For more information go to www.forsakingall.comForsaking All" is a practical and relevant book that addresses marriage, what to consider before marriage, the topic of obedience, abuse, how we relate to our church leaders and how we relate to one another as a body of believers. Most importantly, this book causes every reader to examine themselves in terms of their relationship with the GODHEAD.Teacher Phyllis Sanders is a dynamic and prolific speaker and teacher of the gospel of Jesus Christ. She has the ability to draw the listener into the kingdom having such an impact upon their lives to make it the better.visit Teacher Phyllis Sanders on myspace at:
myspace.com/teacherhms
The Pornography Trap: Setting Pastors and Laypersons Free from Sexual Addiction
Pure Desire: Helping People Break Free from Sexual Struggles
An Affair of the Mind
Amor deber ser Firme, El
Breaking the Cycle of Divorce
The Infertility Companion: Hope and Help for Couples Facing Infertility (Christian Medical Association)
Divorce: God's Will? The Truth of Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible for Christians
Amor Y Respeto/love And Respect: El Respeto Que El Desesperadamente Necesita/ The Love She Most Desires And The Respect He Despe
Understanding Love: Marriage Still a Great Idea (Understanding Love)
Our Love Is Here to Stay: A Daily Devotional for Couples
Help Me, I'm Married!
A Marriage After God's Own Heart
Starting Your Marriage Right: What You Need to Know in the Early Years to Make It Last a Lifetime
Winning Your Wife Back Before It's Too Late: Whether She's Left Physically Or Emotionally, All That Matters Is...
When He Doesn't Believe: Help and Encouragement for Women Who Feel Alone in Their Faith
The Four Seasons of Marriage
Marriage Mentor Training Manual for Husbands: A Ten-Session Program for Equipping Marriage Mentors
Marriage Mentor Training Manual for Wives: A Ten-Session Program for Equipping Marriage Mentors
Men Are Like Waffles--Women Are Like Spaghetti
Hope For the Separated: Wounded Marriages Can Be Healed (Chapman, Gary)
Los Cinco Lenguajes Del Amor: Como expresar devocion sincera a su conyuge (Five Love Languages, Spanish edition)
Your Money Counts: The Biblical Guide to Earning, Spending, Saving, Investing, Giving, and Getting Out of Debt
Money Before Marriage: A Financial Workbook for Engaged Couples
Supernatural Childbirth
How to Love a Black Woman: Give-and-Get-the Very Best in Your Relationship
How to Love a Black Man
The Power of a Praying® Wife (Power of a Praying)
Your Marriage Can Survive a Newborn
The Book of Romance: What Solomon Says About Love, Sex, and Intimacy
A Handbook for Engaged Couples: A Communication Tool for Those About to Be Married
Strike the Original Match
Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart In The Midst Of Infertility
Marriage On The Rock: God's Design For Your Dream Marriage
What A Man Wants, What A Woman Needs The Secret To Successful, Fulfilling Relationships
Dobson 2-in-1: Love Must Be Tough/straight Talk
The 5 Love Needs of Men And Women
The Five Love Languages: Mens Edition; How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
The First Five Years of Marriage (Focus on the Family Books)
A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God's Gift of Sexual Intimacy
Marriage: From Surviving to Thriving: Practical Advice on Making Your Marriage Strong
Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage, Third Edition
Getting Ready for Marriage Workbook : How to Really Get to Know the Person You're Going to Marry
If Only He Knew: What No Woman Can Resist
The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships
Boundaries in Marriage
Before You Say "I Do"® Devotional: Building a Spiritual Foundation for Your Life Together
Love for a Lifetime: Building a Marriage That Will Go the Distance (Dobson, James)
What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women
Love Is A Decision
Making Peace With Your Partner: Healing Conflicts in Marriage
The Keys to Growing in Love: The Language of Love, Love Is a Decision, the Two Sides of Love
The Two Sides of Love
Transforming Your Relationships: An Action Plan for Love that Lasts (God's Leading Ladies Workbook Series)
30 Days to a More Incredible Marriage (30 Day Devotional Series (TCW))
El Poder De LA Esposa Que Ora/the Power of a Praying Wife
The Power of a Praying® Husband
Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate powered by frazy.com
Heroes:
THE PRAYER OF SALVATION"That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9)"Jesus answered and said to him, 'Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.'" (John 3:3)The Simple Steps:
1. Acknowledge in your heart that Jesus is Lord.
2. Confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord.
3. Believe that Jesus died for your sins and was raised three days later.
4. Repent of your sins and get baptized in the name of Jesus.
"God, I recognize that I have not lived my life for You up until now I am a sinner. I need You in my life; I want You in my life. I acknowledge the completed work of Your Son Jesus Christ in giving His life for me on the cross at Calvary, and I long to receive the forgiveness you have made freely available to me through this sacrifice. Come into my life now, Lord. Take up residence in my heart and be my king, my Lord, and my Savior. From this day forward, I will no longer be controlled by sin, or the desire to please myself, but I will follow You all the days of my life. Those days are in Your hands. I ask this in Jesus' precious and holy name. Amen."WELCOME INTO THE FAMILY OF GODGet baptized
Pray and read the word of God daily (NKJV BIBLE)
Find a local church where you can worship God
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