Theresa profile picture

Theresa

From far away it'll look okay. Then she'll get close and it'll smell like rotten milk and forest fir

About Me

I think Barbara Kingsolver described me best. She just didn't know it at the time:
"What are they like, lynx?" She tried not to sound like a jealous child.
"Oh, baby, there's a cat you'd love. They're just like you."
"How's that?"
He grinned, thinking about it. "About three parts pissed off to four parts dignified. They're gorgeous. If you find one caught in a trap line and let it go, it won't scramble around and run, nothing like that. It'll just stand there glaring at you for a minute, and then turn around real slow and just strut away."

My Interests

Tulips. Kickboxing. Books. Tea. Backrubs. Animals. Taking pictures. Moonboots. Writing. Breakfast food. Reading. Skydiving. Travel. Snorkeling. SNUBA Diving (no I don't mean SCUBA). Sleep. Sweet moves.Good television. GGCT. Riding horses in floods. My thoughts. Sometimes, your thoughts. Ligers. Learning, always. Hybrids. Llamas. Strength. Gardening. Fruit snacks. Tea, again. Bad television. Rollerblading. Chapstick. Ice skating. Skiing. Red Sox. Milkshakes. Originality. Pyschics. Honesty. Tea, still. Humor, always.

I'd like to meet:

Byata & Rece Steele. It's like Byata is my Russian soul mate.

Music:

I like the same music as lesbians and angry black men. I think I've got some sort of internal conflict I haven't come to terms with yet.

Movies:

MASK has been one of my favorite movies since I was a kid. Do not mock Rocky Dennis in my presence. I love Dozer and Gar and the hooker who befriends Rocky. I do hate that crappy friend who skips out on the motorcycle trip, though.

Television:

What do I have to look forward to on Tuesdays for the rest of my life? Nothing, that's what.

Books:

"There is little enough devotion in the world that we should be glad for it in whatever form it appears, and never mock it, or underestimate its depths." - Mark Doty, Dog Years
I don't know who this dude reading is, but this is one of my favorite David Sedaris stories. YOU CAN'T KILL THE ROOSTER. The best part is, I totally used to force my roommates to listen to me read this story - and I used to laugh way harder when reading it.
www.editred.com/TheresaMC

Heroes:

Bill Clinton (he was awesome on Fox News Sunday), John Irving, Margaret Sanger, Anne Boleyn, Deirdre of the Sorrows, David Sedaris, Barbara Kingsolver, Toni Morrison, Nana and Papa, "Maggie O'Connell", Emily Yoffe (otherwise known as Slate's Human Guinea Pig). And this dude...

My Blog

Raw Food Detox

So, I've decided to undergo a sort of rehab for my bowels. Think of my kidneys as Lindsay Lohan and my liver as Britney Spears. They're all coked up and drunk and need some help - so raw food is here ...
Posted by Theresa on Fri, 09 Nov 2007 10:23:00 PST

DMBlows

I mean, it's hard to really complain about DMB. There are the half-asleep potheads who don't know any better than to worship them, and there are the angry people who hate them just to hate them, and t...
Posted by Theresa on Sat, 28 Jul 2007 05:29:00 PST

Dive Bars & Drunk Dudes

So, Friday, I went out with The Wedding Party. By which, I mean, Allison and Adrianne. We were trying to think of a place where we could be outside because it was a LOVELY day. All of a sudden I ...
Posted by Theresa on Wed, 18 Jul 2007 08:05:00 PST

This One Goes Out to Jeffrey

I ate McDonald's for the first time in months on Friday. In fact, I can't remember the last time I had fast food. But...I'd been on a train fora few hours, I hadn't eaten lunch, I was feeling pretty h...
Posted by Theresa on Mon, 09 Jul 2007 04:54:00 PST

I'm a Treehugger

We already knew that I'm a treehugger (I think the Prius and the obsessive recycling gave it away). In fact, I'd go so far as to say, "If you don't do your part for the environment, I think less of yo...
Posted by Theresa on Fri, 18 May 2007 05:01:00 PST

My Family Tree is Filled with Keebler Elves

(Disclaimer: I've been reading The Lord of the Rings for about a month now...it's enough to push a person over the edge.) Have you ever seen my ears? They're point and rather on the small side. They'r...
Posted by Theresa on Wed, 16 May 2007 04:46:00 PST

Chick Car

A 24-year-old, single male would like to purchase this car: I've been trying to advise him against this on the grounds that I personally think this is a chick car. I find it unmanly, and downright s...
Posted by Theresa on Mon, 07 May 2007 03:42:00 PST

Mandy...oh you came and you gave without taking...

There are a lot of reasons to visit Ireland: mild weather, Trinity College, rolling hills, friendly people, Guiness, bangers and mash, Irish beef (I'm talking about hamburgers), Irish beef (now I'm ta...
Posted by Theresa on Sun, 25 Feb 2007 01:24:00 PST

I Wouldn't Mate with that Panda Either...

As some of you may know, I dislike Pandas. It's not that I want to see them dead or anything, I just happen to think they're seriously retarded and would have died off years ago if we hadn't interfere...
Posted by Theresa on Tue, 30 Jan 2007 04:16:00 PST

Boondocks, White Rappers and Why I Love Racist Television

In case you haven't meant me, I love a good, racist television show. For instance, The Boondocks is one of my favorite shows. If you've ever seen this show you'll understand what it is I love about t...
Posted by Theresa on Thu, 25 Jan 2007 05:24:00 PST