Patti

I'd like to meet:

Resume of Our Current President:

George W. Bush
The White House, USA

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
LAW ENFORCEMENT:

• I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days.
• My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

MILITARY:

• I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use.
• By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

COLLEGE:

• I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

• I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
• I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
• I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
• With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:

• I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
• I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
• I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
• With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

• I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
• I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
• I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
• I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
• I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
• I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
• I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.
• In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.
• I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history.
• My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
• I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.
• I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
• My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.
• My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
• I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution.
• More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.
• I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
• I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
• I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
• I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.
• I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.
• I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.
• I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
• I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
• I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
• I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
• I set the record for fewest number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
• I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period.
• After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
• I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
• I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
• I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.
• I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war time.
• In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.
• I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
• I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.
• I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

• All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
• All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
• All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE AND MY PARTY WHEN VOTING IN 2006!!!

Music:

Movies:

Star Wars - A New Hope; Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back; Star Wars - Return of the Jedi; Star Wars - The Phantom Menace; Star Wars - Attack of the Clones; Star Wars - Revenge of the Sith; Star Trek - The Undiscovered Country; Star Trek - The Wrath of Khan; Star Trek - The Voyage Home; Star Trek - First Contact; Star Trek - Generations; Limbo; The Breakfast Club; A League of Their Own; Bull Durham; Field of Dreams; The Natural; Lost In Translation; Gone With the Wind; Men In Black; Caddyshack; A Bronx Tale; Glory; Pirates of the Caribbean

Television:

Star Trek; Star Trek - The Next Generation; Star Trek - Deep Space Nine; Battlestar Galactica (original); Babylon 5; Doctor Who; 21 Jump Street; Wiseguy; Emergency; Survivor; Ghost Hunters; Storm Stories; COPS; Desperate Housewives; Lost

Books:

Favorite authors: Stephen King, Harry Turtledove, Dean Koontz (sometimes)

Heroes:

Carolyn McCarthy, anyone who can go through adversity and come out the other side