About Me
"Mer Morte" in Leiden, NL.
"Mer Morte" in Copenhagen, DK
"Tortuous, impossibly downtuned cacophony slathered with peristalsis-inducing bottom-end and gratuitous layers of cross-talk and feedback. Every once in awhile, it’s hard to predict when, someone will hit a drum a couple of times. Then Emilie, the band’s petite, sort-of-hot in a Heroin-chic-model sort of way vocalist, will howl unintelligible-yet-dangerous sounding lyrics into the mic. Then it starts all over again.The great thing about Monarch! and the majority of their ilk, is that any asshole with a guitar can pull this off. What’s an even greater thing at least from my perspective, is that most assholes with guitars choose not to.So Monarch! have the “avant-doom created by three guys and a Heroin-hot chick†market segment covered. Not much in the way of economic pressures or market saturation there. Goddamn it, if only I came up with this concept, I’d be the Lou Pearlman of the “avant-doom created by three guys and a Heroin-hot chick†movement. I’d do exactly as this band is doing – creating a niche based on a novel concept of a female that looks like you’d find her studying 2nd year liberal arts at the local uni, fronting a band making a God awful racket catering to a market mainly dominated by disenfranchised men. The template here was obviously Thorr’s Hammer, Runhild Gammelsæter did a number on many of us that weren’t expecting it … but that’s so early 90’s. Add that Monarch! do all their own artwork which is decidedly different looking than your typical Doom band cover template. There is something edgy in their Hello Kitty-meets-disturbed 10-year old schizophrenic scrawl. None of the usual Bosch triptychs or apocalyptic visions from 14th century monk illuminators album covers here. It’s boats, anchors, stars, halloween-ish cartoon ghosts and crudely scrawled, sometimes inverted crosses. Its’ original stuff, I admit. The band have a gimmick and it appears to generate enough interest to sell records.But, seriously, when you get down to it, how long before we all call bullshit on all this stuff? I’d like to meet the person who can look me straight in the eye and tell me that he or she listens to Dead Men Tell No Tales on a regular rotation. And enjoys it. Sure, it’s good for blowing out the pipes on a dark, weird occasional night, but I can’t see anyone bumping this on the car stereo, windows down, sunroof open, your woman by your side. Unless your career envolves embalming, suicide scene clean-up, putting pets down at the local pound, or selling cell phones at Costco, there isn’t a whole lot to enjoy, relate to or provoke thought.I dunno. I admire the concept and image the band has developed. It is unique. But in the end, I have to say it’s probably more of a one-trick pony that will probably give the everyday Doom Metal fan a headache."
