Hi I’m Sam! I’m short and blonde and a human spellcheck. I sing in the car, even at red lights. I have a voracious hunger for words. I really like mini versions of stuff, like lambs and babies and keychain Sharpies.
I’m studying technical writing at BCIT. It’s tougher than I thought it would be, but I really love it and just being in college feels like a huge sense of accomplishment.
Slower drivers please keep right.
In fact, I wish everyone was a courteous driver, and that the same laws of courteous driving would be applied to life; do not leave your cart in the middle of the frozen foods aisle while you wander off to look at the cute little lobsters; look left and right and yield accordingly when exiting the washroom; and when walking beside someone in a two-person-wide sidewalk or hallway, do not force oncoming people off the sidewalk or into the wall because you’re rude/oblivious. Thanks!
I’m pretty good at winning radio contests.
I really hate when people say that they can figure anyone out in five minutes or less. Way to completely undermine and disregard the entire population’s personalities, jerkoff.
I’m perpetually cold. Even midday midsummer, the sun can spend one minute behind a cloud and I go diving for the nearest source of heat.
I also really hate it when people say a certain band or artist or entire genre of music sucks. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion, yes, but you should still be respectful of other people’s opinions, and targeting someone’s taste in music is just lame. There are better ways to connotate your dislike for something than to say it sucks.
All girls like shiny things, it's true, but I’ve got a little more love for the bling than is normal. Or even healthy.
If someone wants to get me a praying mantis for my birthday, that’d be really cool. July 4th baby!
My favourite words include rigamatortoise, complicant, scandalust and floatating. Floatating is also one of my favourite things to do.
I don't want to see your pics, send you any of mine, hook up with you or meet you. I will not add you to my MSN nor give you my email, and I especially don’t need your phone number. Don't call me baby, sexy, cutie, hon or anything else as I'm none of those things to you. I don't want to help you in getting a sponsorship to come to Canada and I don't have any single friends that I'd hook you up with. If you type all in capitals, type without any punctuation, use ridiculous wording like "hay baybee u lok gud u shud be my gurrl want chat hitme bacc" or say nothing of any value whatsoever, don't expect a response from me. At least not a civil one anyway! And don't freak out when I don't reply to you right away, my laptop's almost always on but that doesn't mean I'm at it, so chill out.
I'm not afraid to make a mockery of you, so if you don't want your lame messages or contact information posted all over the internet I'd suggest you keep this in mind when composing a message to me.
Aside from that, I'm actually really nice, and I'm not out to be cruel to people who don't deserve it.
Don't litter. It's just rude and ignorant. The world is ugly enough without your garbage all over the place.
I’m really good at shopping, even better at being broke, and beyond fantastic at refusing to return stuff. But at 50% off, how can you afford not to buy it?
There are not enough trashy celebrities in the world. On days the gossip runs low I die a little inside. Then Paris Hilton loses her luggage/best friend/dog/ferret/goat/Stavros/Greasy Bear again and everything's better.
While I can’t do much in terms of cool party tricks (no keg stands here, hell I can’t even do shots harder than China Whites), I do have one move that most guys would love to call their own: at any given time on the dancefloor with my girlfriends I can stretch my arms up above my head and I instantly become The Pole.
I spent a month in Italy last summer and it was effing awesome. I lived in a castle. Bet you can't say you lived in a castle. Also bet you can't say you battled scorpions with your bare hands. Ok, neither can I. But I did live in a castle. And I made the guy working downstairs squish a scorpion with his shoe.
Along with Italy, I've been to Costa Rica, Mexico, Spain, Portugal, Gibraltar, and Morocco, along with a handful of provinces and a few states. I want to scratch Brazil, Thailand, New York, and Chile off the list next.
My little bro Will departs April 18th for a year+ long trek around the globe. He’ll be hitting up Australia, Thailand and most of Europe, and hopefully I’ll have an opportunity to meet up with him somewhere. I’m gonna miss him like crazy, Moffatts style.
Tuesday nights you may find me volunteering for Options for Sexual Health (formerly Planned Parenthood). It's something I believe in and a good way to spend a couple hours of my week on a worthy cause. Too many people are not taking care of themselves and I want that to change. If you need to know about STIs and reproductive systems, I'm your girl. Banana vagina!
Sometimes, I sing all my words instead of speaking them. All day long!
