RussGraz

"My name is Russ Graziano. . I was born with a piece of J.C. Penny stainless steel flatware in my mouth, and I scratched and clawed my way out of the upper middle class ghetto of Bay Shore, New York to become the feared yet loved pariah that I am today. I am a dynamic figure, at one time I was homeless and drug infested only to kick that crap in the ass and become the stud that I am today. . I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I can cook two-minute eggs in less than a minute. I have been known to remodel subway stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat dispersion. Occasionally, I trade ribald jests with heads of state."I have wiped out ruthless bookies for a friend and mob bosses fro a friend. I am an expert in glass bricklaying, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Guam. I breed prize-winning clams. I pay my bills on time. I don't perspire. I, too, know Greg Allen and refused to have sex with him. Using only a hoe and a glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from an attack of ferocious army ants. I read ancient Egyptian manuscripts in the original Sanskrit."I am a father,to three awesome kids and also ruthless bookie. I once stopped a Lacrosse ball going 102 miles an hour with my teeth. I own many of Frank Sinatra's recordings and periodically annoy the neighbors by playing them at a high volume.I sleep only fifteen minutes a night and do so standing up. I am an unselfish lover, an investor in the Chinese stock market, a rabble-rousing herdboy, and an inspiration for freedom fighters everywhere. My dad was a respected mob boss, and I changed my name from Rocco. Children trust me because I still can be one."After meeting a women once, I can have sex with them. I do not own an X BOX 360 or a blues record. I am the store manager and pimp of Dollar Tree. I can make extraordinary four course meals using only a spatula and a toaster oven. I believed in and voted for Clinton. I have performed open heart surgery, and I have spoken to John Lennon.YES I'am a great Lacrosse and Hockey goalie but never played professional sports.