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Tamara and I always agreed that we wanted to start a family one day , and when we did wed be nothing like our own mothers. We would not have kids until we were ready to give up our old life entirely . Escorting , swinging , parties , drinking , drugs , all of it. So thanks to our savings we were actually able to get by OK with full time $8 hour jobs. We were fortunate to find any work with criminal records and no legal work hsitory. Eventually we had enough good references and employment history to start looking at slightly better than minimum wage jobs and , eventually , we found some. Being really good with computers she got a lot of raises and became valuable to the very techy CS office she worked for. We were able to make an honest lviing and have enough money to give Sarah a childhood significantly better than our own . Both of our parents spent time on the welfare payroll , we never did. Sarah never had to go in day care , because I worked nights and her mother worked days. Everything was going well and getting better until my daughters 3rd birthday when we filed for divorce. We split custody at first , and Tammy was doing OK Within a couple weeks after our divorce though she got back into drugs and heavy drinking. Worse then she ever had in her past.
Less than 3 weeks after seperating , she had been kicked out by her own sister , overdrafted her account hundreds playing video poker and was homeless and strung out. Sarah and I were on a vacation in California visiting my grnadmother who raised me when I was Sarahs age. We were having a really nice visit until the day before our flight back I got a call from Tammy letting me know she was homeless and had nowhere for Sarah to go. I broke down and prayed to God just dont ever let Sarah know what its like to wake up in a house with no lights , no heat , and no food. If she could never go one day without food shelter and clothing , I swore to God himself I could handle anything else that came my way. She never had to.
Over the next few months I was forced to make good on my word. In order to afford a room for rent I had to sell our car. I couldnt find anyone to rent a room to a single parent with a small child. Eventually I had to contact an estranged uncle of mine I hadnt talked to in years. The house was filthy , unfit , full of guns and sharp objects laying around all over the house. I put up a partition wall , seperating our section of the house from his and we lived entirely out of the two (incredibly)small rooms. Had i not put up the partiton DHS wouldve slapped me with 150 viloations for the household we were living in. I had to think about that since my next move was to apply for financial aid through TANF , something I swore Id never raise Sarah on.
Today , I am in school full time , got my GED , have a 3.0+ GPA and a world of opportunities have opened up to me that I never even knew of until now. Many miracles have occured in my life since turning my life over to God. I have a recording contract with a local record company , I am finsihing up my first film , and my daughter has a better life than I ever imagined possible after the divorce. Do i occasionally "slip" from time time ? Oh yeah. Do I still make bad choices occasionally? Absolutely! I was a private massage escort and adult film stud for over a decade of my life! Most of that time I was high as a kite! I am far from a saint , and still have a long way to go before I am the man that God intends for me to be. But 3 years ago , when I got sole custody of my daughter, and had to fight tooth and nail to keep us afloat I was forced to become a better man. Unfortunately , for some of us , this is a point we have to reach before we begin to grow. Im as thickheaded as they come . I had alot of anger to work thorugh . I had a chaotic and dysfunctional childhood to overcome. I had alot of issues and in my youth I ran from those issues instaed of dealing with them. As a result I am the last person in the world you will get a" high and mighty" speech from . I am in no lace to judge anybody for thier past , I have a hell of a past of my own to make amends for.Believe me God gave me plenty of opportunities to turn my life around - I ignored them all. Even geting arrested and coming this close to going to prison for 3 years did not stop me. Because of that Ive got alot to do now and not much time to do it. Still things keep falling into place for me , and I will continue to strive for more .
On that note I want to encourage anyone in the PDX area who has some comedic acting or musical talent to contact me , I have several projects to wrap up before I leave this campus and there are many opportunities for some local talent . I would especially like to help anyone who is struggling with finding opportunities to showcase thier talents and give you a chance to record your own demo or give you some film work. That goes for technical talent as well , cameramen , computer savvy film editors , etc. If any of the above is you , get at me now while the door is open.
Peace and love ,
BIG CAT
LOSER LINES PERSONALS AD 1 JIMMY DEAN WILLIAMS
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