ScooterTrashUSA - ProfilesArchive

About Me

WE ARE A CREW OF EIGHT YOUNG MEN ASTRIDE VESPA SCOOTERS TRAVELING THROUGH THE AMERICAN HEARTLAND FROM MAY TO WHENEVER 2007 AS AMBASSADORS OF PEACE, LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING. ALREADY WE HAVE CONQUERED AND REFORMED CLEVELAND, PITTSBURGH, COLUMBUS, CINCINNATI,DAYTON, LOUISVILLE, ST. LOUIS, INDIANAPOLIS AND CHICAGO.WE ARE NOW IN DETROIT, A SOARING CITY FULL OF HIDDEN TREASURES. WE HAVE SEVERAL MORE PLACES TO GO.ALONG THE WAY WE HAVE FEARLESSLY APPROACHED AND BEFRIENDED THE LOCAL POPULATIONS IN THEIR NATIONAL HABITATS. MOST OF THESE ENCOUNTERS HAVE BEEN PLEASANT AND FRUITFUL, AND MUCH PEACEABLENESS HAS BEEN DISPERSED.OUR MEMBERS HAIL FROM PLACES LIKE NEW YORK, MIAMI, LOS ANGELES AND NAPLES, ITALY. OUR ETHNICITIES RANGE ALL THE WAY FROM WHITE TO PUERTO RICAN TO LIKE HALF WHITE HALF BLACK. OUR EXPERIENCE IS EXTENSIVE, OUR CHARACTERS BEYOND REPROACH AND OUR TASTES IMPECCABLE.

My Interests

RON is ScooterTrash's chief navigator and disperser. He is tremendously skilled at securing lanes and confusing meter maids. When he was 10 years old, NYC MIKE went to day camp and befriended a boy named Pierre.

I'd like to meet:

Wherever ScooterTrash goes, from Cleveland, Ohio to Indianapolis, Indiana, we are the consummate role models, and a constant source of inspiration. IF YOU SEE THESE SHOES PLEASE CONTACT SCOOTERTRASH USA

Music:

ADRIAN, one night while at college a few years ago, discovered the meaning of life. But by the next day he'd forgotten it. He's now searching for it again, through bins and bins of vinyl. JOSH, ScooterTrash's resident dipsomaniac, displays impressive hustle, especially when it's time to buy his daily 18-pack. Or his second daily 18-pack.

Movies:

Also known as the "Freakin' Puerto Rican," ERNEST has no peer when it comes to fierceness and aggressiveness. The streets of New York are littered with the corpses of they who underestimated what he can do with a twist-and-go (Vespa scooter) between his legs. JOEL has worked "in the industry," wink-wink. And his powers of celebrity-specific seduction are legendary: his rumored conquests include Lindsey Lohan, Scarlett Johansson and an Olsen twin.

Television:

When ScooterTrash reaches a new city, the FEMALE AND/OR HOMOSEXUAL INHABITANTS swiftly begin to exhibit their dark, repressed sides, as they realize that they will be afforded an exciting brush with danger. SOME GIRLS suddenly become brave enough to mount the Vespas themselves.

Books:

MARTIN is a tremendously clever tactician when it comes to arranging amatory conquests. But he needs work on getting to his rendezvous in one piece. ScooterTrash is often asked about its diversity. DANNY is our diversity.

Heroes:

Although he claims to be spoken for, MARCO attracts women with his intense gaze and seductive Italian accent. But beware: His bite is worse than his bark. LA MIKE is the nonconformist of the group, as he has no tattoos or piercings. However, he snores. His nighttime buzz-saw wakes up people for miles around, and alarms Homeland Security authorities.