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The Straynge Family

I am here for Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends and Networking

About Me


A team of genealogists and criminologists, led by world famous Dr. Edward F. Weston, has spent over five years researching and tracking the elusive origins of the Straynge family. It was Dr. Weston who went so far as to discover himself that the family’s roots came from French nobility during The Dark Ages – a family named Étrange. Unfortunately for Dr. Weston, and his research, he met a most untimely death when he accidentally threw himself out of his 13th story office window and landing in the container of a dump truck transporting broken glass shards to be recycled. The bulk of his documentation on the family has been inexplicably missing since the incident.
The entire history of the Straynge family is undoubtedly shrouded in dark mystery. From the surviving documents we are able to tell that from their origins in France the family was somehow responsible for the Black Plague, the Halloween War of 1483, and involved with the Great Hauntings of Avignon, just to name a few. All of this happened before the family’s eventual banishment from France for their unsavory ties to the bloodthirsty Hungarian Countess Erzsébet Báthory. This led them to cross the Atlantic Ocean to become pirates in 1611.
As a pirating clan, the Straynge family gained fortune and climbed the notorious ranks as some of the most ruthless pirates in the Caribbean and along the Eastern American seacoast. We also know that it was a certain Amelia Straynge who, in 1690, broke away from her pirating parents to settle in the town of Brooksby Village (now known as Peabody), just outside of infamous Salem, Massachusetts.
Although one would speculate that Amelia Straynge was accused of being a witch during the tumultuous Salem witch trials that started in 1692, it was actually she who would accuse over fifty innocent, yet troubled, young girls of being witches for sole purpose of satisfying her own entertainment in watching the suffering of others. It is around this time that reports account that the family was cursed by an actual witch for Amelia’s mischievous doings, and thus plunging the Straynge family’s future generations into a myriad of misfortunes and abhorrent atrocities.
From there the research trail runs cold; that is until the early Spring of 2005 when filmmaker William Welles received a very bizarre call from the last known surviving member of the Straynge family’s direct descendants, his Great-Aunt Ruth Straynge.
For more information about the family, please be so kind as to visit the Straynge Family Website ...if you dare!!!

My Interests

Warning!!! Do not stare at the pictures for too long or you will go insane.

Cut! Cut! Cut! Cute Curtis the Cutter had a clear career as a cook, cause he coveted cutlery and creative cuisine. Contrary to convention, his calling was to carving cartilage from collected cadavers!

Hostile Harriette had a history of hounding her hubby Harold, who was hard of hearing. Having his fill, he hastily hindered her health at Hangman’s Hill. Now Harriette was history, and Harold only heard her howling hauntings!

Evil Edna excitedly exterminated eight exes. Each event was extreme in execution. Embowelment, electrocution, emergency embalming, evisceration, eye extractions, exploding entrails, epidermal engraving, and eventually an exploratory experiment that ended in error.

Jabber Jaw Jasper just joked about a Jinx in January, and lost his jowls to a jigsaw in July!

Fanciful Frannie had a flare for fashion. Her fault was that she forgot to fix her face.

Aunt Bea was busy becoming...beautiful!

Nasty Nancy never knew the necessity of nice nephew Norman. Now Norman has a nifty knick in his neck.

Suddenly since slightly sinking in some suspicious sludge, simple Susie’s sense of sight seemed significantly superior.

Ordinary Ophealia obsessed over the ocean. Obviously, her only offspring was ordained Octovia.

King Kyle was keen on being quite queer. The kin called him a kook, but Kyle kept his kink.

Bored Bradley and Benedict built a baby brother by binding bits barrowed from the barn. Boldly, the boys didn’t bother about Blinky’s basic brain being broken.

Cousin Martin married a most mad mate. He mentioned he met Moana at a Mortuary.

Angry Archibald adored alligators. Alas, the alligators appreciated Archibald's appetizing arms.

Tiny Tina was a ton of trouble. She had to be taught that toxins tasted terrible.

Pretty Patty. Petite, proper, poised and partial to porcelain, was she. Upon her passing from a peculiar paranoia of parades, she postponed her plight by preserving herself in this portrait.

Tick. Tock. Time took its toll on tired old Thomas and Tilda. Trouble was no one told them their time terminated tragically two years ago.

Woeful William Welles never wore white. What a worry! When he wastes away we will wonder whether he will want white wings? Why, what a wicked and wild whim!

I'd like to meet:

We'd like to meet those who embrace the macabre, those with a twisted sense of humour, and especially those whose favorite holiday is Halloween. Is this you? It will be...

Straynge Family Reunion - Dated October 31,1899

In late Summer of 1874, a small mob of concerned and angry townsfolk gathered to try to run the Straynge Family out of their homes. Only the dog survived.

A Very Straynge Cartoon
"Ghost of Stephen Foster" by The Squirrel Nut Zippers

Peter and Paula had perfectly peculiar progeny that were parasitic towards their parents. As a precaution, Peter permanently palmed his pistol against a plan for patricide.

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My Blog

Is this Elijah Wood’s Great-Great-Grandmother???

The following picture is of a woman who is identified as LAURA BORING. This picture os one that I found among an old collection that is not part of the Straynge Family...and yes, I have the original. ...
Posted by The Straynge Family on Fri, 31 Aug 2007 12:21:00 PST

BLOOD FEAST!!!

Last night...well at 5am anyway...I was killing time before hanging upside-down to go to sleep before the sunrise, and popped in a Netflix DVD that I received in the mail called Blood Feast.This movie...
Posted by The Straynge Family on Wed, 29 Aug 2007 02:04:00 PST

The Strayngest Kid show ever made...BANNED ON TV!

You have to see this clay-mation clip! This was actually supposed to be shown to little children! HA HA HA!!! Think of all the nightmares this induced! (sorry, but the volume is a bit low on ...
Posted by The Straynge Family on Tue, 07 Aug 2007 10:32:00 PST

Do you want to see something Straynge?

I found a rather peculiar picture of a certain "Pretty" Patty Straynge. Now, outwardly she is not as...bizarre looking as the others. However, as her story goes, it is said that she imprisoned herself...
Posted by The Straynge Family on Tue, 24 Jul 2007 11:46:00 PST