brandon profile picture

brandon

my heart strings are made of pubic hairs

About Me

Yes, I eat foie gras and baby cow. The more the better. Escoffier is king and Anthony Bourdain is not far behind. Pot au veau anyone? I am a dying breed of cooks. Cooks that expect things to be done a certain way and who demand a certain respect when it is done the right way. Working in 140 to 150 degree conditions whilst blazing through a flurry of tickets and getting demeaning insults from certain front-of-house waitrons and placing said product on a hot plate while nursing that nasty burn you got from a hot-oil spaltter and making sure your pantry guy has those desserts fired can make for a hectic night, especially when you have been pushing through that rush for a couple of hours already. The flight of curses and derogitory statements from co-workers and chefs alike is commonplace as well as borderline sociopaths, drug addicts, alcoholics and sexual harrassment. It is akin to a freakshow on crank. I also teach people how to cook and try to instill in these individuals that the food service industry is very cutthroat and sadistic, so if you have game and plenty of knife skills and can accept lots of criticism then have at it and keep your head up!

My Interests

I cook. That's what I do. My daughter is my number one interest as well as my wife. After that I read or watch movies or play the X-box. And on Sunday afternoons I like tea, crumpets and a little bit of knitting.

I'd like to meet:

Anthony Bourdain, Rocco Dispirito ( so I can punch him in the gut; a chef, what?!?), Alain Ducasse (eight stars!!!), Patrick O'Connell, Marcel Desaulniers, Daniel Boulud ( a hundred dollar burger, I'd eat it), Thomas Keller, Auguste Escoffier (deceased, I know), Julia Child, Gary Coleman ( he's cute, alright), Charles manson (why not), John "wayne" Gacy ( well, he's cute as a clown), jaques Cousteau, Truman Capote, Kurt Vonnegut and Tom Waits...I deeply regret the loss of my friend Jay... I miss you and I am pissed that you have left us high and dry...I still owe you twenty bucks. I will see you one day and we will have a beer and I will punch you in the gut. Here's to my friend Jay!!!

Music:

OLD SCHOOL PUNK like the dead boys, clash, sex pistols, the damned, ramones, gang of four, the Vandals, Dead Kennedys, Drunk Injuns, Talking Heads, joy division, Definitely Black Flag, Misfits, Samhain, Danzig, Descendents, All, Jesus Lizard, Scratch Acid, big boys, Some New School like Pavement, Dinosaur Jr., sebadoh, steel pole bathtub, some bauhaus, butthole surfers, BAD BRAINS rule, Ministry, d.o.a., JFA, tom waits, velvet underground, old rolling stones(give it up ya geriatrics), Lame 80's b.s. and the white stripes and modest mouse and a slew of other bands that probably deserve more credit that I can not think of right now

Movies:

The Godfather movies, Taxi driver, jaws, close encounters, ET, breakfast club, reservoir dogs, killing zoe, henry: portrait of a serial killer, texas chainsaw massacre, boondock saints, airplane, fast times at ridgemont high, Big night, dinner rush, Who's killing the grat chefs?, Eat,drink,man,woman, Saw, Night of the living dead, the shining, one flew over the cuckoo;s nest, barfly, 28 days later, dazed and confused, best in show, and a mighty wind

Television:

Chapelle,s show ( I spit hot fire), Chris rock, six feet under, Iron chef, Ramseys kitchen nightmares, scrubs, my name is earl, family guy, the simpsons, young ones, monty python, a-team, the office, knight rider, charlie's angels, law and order ( all of them) recipe tv, great chefs, a cook's tour, and different strokes

Books:

kitchen confidential, les halles, larousse gastronomique, cia professional, any vonnegut especialy blubeard ,slaughter house five, and breakfast of champions, various buckowski and kerouac and James joyce

Heroes:

escoffier, augustine(old dishwasher, where are you?), my daughter estella and my grandfather. I owe my wife and my daughter to Jay. He introduced us and without that I would be a lonely dismal sloth of a man. Thank you Jay!

My Blog

Tme and the wisdom that it is not yours

You work and you work.  Every day is not so refreshing and new but, rather a slew of insults, challenges and I want to go home.  Where is this going and where does it end???  Just wake ...
Posted by brandon on Fri, 01 Sep 2006 12:11:00 PST

OHH! POO!

Apparently there seems to be some sort of misconception with food in this town.  Granted we live in East TN, home of Mountain dew and biscuits and gravy, but, why are people so apt to put somethi...
Posted by brandon on Tue, 22 Aug 2006 10:19:00 PST