Serving the good kids, and bring the others to JUSTICE...
IE, making these kids look like total toolbags.
Figuring out what the hell has brought us to this... Oi.
Interests include:
♥Music (This is a HUGE one... You have to know all sorts of bands, song titles, albums, member's names, and claim to be a huge fan of all of them, "ever since *insert name of first extremely shitty EP that no one but you, of course has ever heard of, or some member's previous band/s*", but when you get into your friend's car and said band is playing, you can't even get the band right)(See: MUSIC)
♥Playing in my band (another big one... most choose to play guitar, some choose bass because it's EVEN easier in HxC, and few choose drums, but those who do don't hit very hard and can't keep in time for shit... but it doesn't matter. Hell, even if you have no musical talents, and can't even sing, start ALL KINDS of bands, or claim to. Give them clever names, and cute genres. Mix and match! "My new band is called The Sisters of Mayhem, and we do bluegrass covers of Norma Jean songs"... Everyone will most DEFINITELY take you seriously).
♥Photography (IE pictures of myself, taken in terrible lighting with dead-on flash)(See:MYSPACE)
♥Deep, meaningful words attached to pictures of myself naked
♥Hair and make-up
♥Smoking at the age of 15, for no real reason
(It's not a dick, sweetie, calm down)
♥Alcohol and drugs (because they're mind-EXPANDING and ENHANCING, make you a deep thinker, and more interesting and intelligent overall, and at no cost to your personality... I mean, look at Conor)
♥Nintendo, Atari, and other archaic gaming systems, because they're just SOOOO much cooler than that bullshit they make now... Pft, life-like visuals. Ha. Real-time action. Ha. A scenester craves not these things.
♥Screaming
♥Punching things
♥The mosh (and practicing it infront of my mirror at home, so I can show it off at the next big Bury Your Dead show)(See:MOSH)
♥Poetry (no rhythm needed, no rhyme scheme, it doesn't even have to have a single fucking rhyme anywhere, just write whatever comes off the top of your head, using the provided topics below, and then show it off... to EVERYONE. Whether or not you think it's good, pretend it is. Everyone else will, too)
Things I like to do my poetry/lyrics/screaming about♥:
♥Romance and it's failings (most important of all... all of the below things are to be used in REFERENCE to romance, and it's failings... and trust me, it never DOESN'T fail, because that's what life is for you... a painful mocking of everything you could have, a bane to your very being, a... wait, lemme write this shit down, this is GOOD...)
♥Guns/knives
(Here's some examples of some random douchebags who think they're deep and disturbed, and enjoy the attention they get from posting once-risque pictures)
(If you're gonna do it, just do it. I would make my day, kiddo. And if you decide to, you might wanna get something other than an airsoft, and put your finger on the trigger, unless you are in attempts at CHOKING on a gun, your moronic fucking pussy... Sorry,but it isn't a dick, so just putting in your mouth WON'T make it go off.)
(Come on, sweetie, you cockmuching felchbag, do like you do with my sweet, precious seed; stop teasing and swollow.)
(While this picture is remotely "cool", the pink background hardly makes me feel threatened.)
(She meets plenty of the criteria! Fake pearls, too much make-up, child-like haircuts... and just look at those DSL. Sorry, but I think we've found a SIF on MS trying to be a QT. LOLBRBK?)
(So... let me get this straight... You're shooting YOURSELF... Which leads me to believe either you beat your own ass, or the male portion of your torrid romance made the bitch fall on a doorknob. "WTF?! This sandwich has mustard on it!" By the way, the exposed cans is a nice touch.)
Wow... Just... Wow. F-
ACTUAL CAPTION: "I'm packin"
Judging by the lack of form in the crotchal section of those shorts... No, no you're not. But I do believe you pack something...
And then I found this little gem... and dicked it up a bit. Literally.
EDITED FOR CONTENT. I HATE YOU, TOM.
Yum, yum!! Please sir, may I have some motherfucking more?!
♥Blood
(She must have bit down too hard on her own tounge with that huge fucking mouth of metal)
♥Gore
♥Hearts♥♥♥
♥Lungs (and bleeding into them, provided by my broken heart)
♥Slicing my wrists/razors, threatening to, and making references to it
...I also like long walks on the beach, dolphins... And auto-erotic asphyxiation.
I'd like to meet:
Any of the people who appear on this page/the site... simply to see if I can figure out how such slobbering morons can still be of the living, and possible beat them to death or have my way with them... followed by the afformentioned beating them to death. Morons. What the fuck?
Jack Nicholson.
So, what are crimes against the scene, and what will make you a good samaritan? What will get you scene points, and what will get them ripped away, and force us to read you your rights? To answer these questions, you must first understand the progression. So, here's a crash-course lesson in
God (assumably) made man. Da Vinci drew man. Man decided he'd put on some clothes after he saw how little Da Vinci was going around and depicting his dong.
Sometimes between pants and employing the use of a color system to depict horror, chaos, pestilence, and danger, along came a sped-up, more aggressive version of punk, called hardcore (and the notion that, HEY!, we only need ONE set of arms and legs). Most of it's listeners were less concerned with fashion and more concerned with passion... living their lives as they see fit, bring about a change, standing for what they believe in, being heard, etc, etc.
Once hardcore had begun to cry for some sort of change, it found itself mixing and fusing with other genres, most importantly, metal. Heavy, chugging breakdowns that sounded less like DK and more like heavy metal. Over the years, this genre broadened, bringing in melody and virtuostic riffs from the likes of shred, thrash, and death metal, though still sticking with the name metalcore. These listeners were a bit more image-conscious, in mostly jeans and black band shirts, perhaps some tattoos and a hat, clothes they felt conformable "throwing down" in.
Once metalcore started to pick up an indie rock ethos of pretentiousness and fashionability, and younger listeners stopped listening to pop punk and started finding heavier music to be more satisfying, these listeners didn't leave their pretty hair and dress savvy behind. Instead, they incorporated it into the sickening form of music so often tongue-in-cheek referenced to as fashioncore. It's all be downhill from there. Girl's pants, tight, girlie band shirts or thrift shop rejects meant for small children, anything to show off these tough motherfuckers' 5'4", 95 pound forms is in... and the swept haircut is a must.
What are the laws?
What do you have to do to keep safe from these creeps?
Well, don't worry. It's our job to bring these freaks to your attention, like registered sex offenders (because I'm sure several of these guys are, anyway).
This is the expected code on conduct in reference to your personal appearance and dress. If these standards are not followed heavily , you will find yourself stripped of points, possibly ticketed, and damn well ignored by everyone cooler than you.
GUYS:
- Tight-fitting pants. Not just any tight-fitting pants anymore, buddy. They gotta be from the little girl's section. Size 0-3, no bigger, or you're just not cool... fatass. Try anorexia (See: HEALTH). Steal em from your sister, swipe em from your girlfriend, just be sure we don't see a package. It's not 1987 anymore, ya know?
Here's a perfect example of the PERFECT pair of pants, on the PERFECT ass... but is it a guy or a girl's? You've never know:
- Tight, child-like shirts. Here is where you get to have a little fun and creativity... but hardly. Band shirts, black, generally, or some drab, depressing shade of grey, red, or blue, that demonstrates your disdain for living and the sorrow within you. All this depression got ya down? Well, you can also try the ever-so-clever method of bargain shopping!.. No, it's cool... really, it's ok. I know when you were younger, you wouldn't be caught dead in these stores. NOW, it's the thing to do. Find the silliest shirt possible, in the smallest size, and go nuts! Soccer teams you were never a part of, construction crews your waifish form would have passed out from exhaustion just watching, band camps that you used to make fun of. Novelty souvenir shirts for places you've never been in size Childrens S? "Where The Heck Is Nantucket, WA?!" YOU'VE STRUCK GOLD.
Need some resources? Try these great online outfitters for all your indie rock needs!
Ebay: The World's Online Flea Market!
MerchDirect.com
Cinderblock
From the whores who brought you EmoGame.com - American Fear Clothing
Rockett Clothing: Shirts that look like they're promoting something, but aren't
Johnny Cupcakes: A man who can play turntables AND overcharge you for a shirt?! Make a line, ladies...
Traditiona: MySpace's favorite self-promoting hottie. I buy their stuff because, every time I do, the slut takes something else off.
Also a reasonable idea...
Pretend you're a fucking lumberjack, and strong, like all your friends. No, really. It was cool to make fun of the kid in flannel in elementary school, and now it's cool to BE the kid in flannel in... what, middle school? How old are we again? For fucks sake. Actual caption for this picture:
the 3 mountain men my beard is alot bigger now!!!
That's not a beard, that's the shit that dollar store razors leave behind. A real mountain man would kick your fucking ass, frail little bitch... After he raped it a good many times. "Now drop your britches and squeal like a piggy"
*As dualing banjos plays us into the next section*
- The windswept haircut. It is a MUST. It's like a devilock... Only more queer! If you're an oldschool hardcore kid, you can get away with a very short one, tucked under your mosh hat (See: MOSH). The more deep and troubled, the longer the do. Cover that one eye. It's worth a stigmatism to be a badass. And it must be BLACK. If it isn't... good luck. Try claiming you're in between dye jobs. Here's some examples:
Even fat jackasses can pull it off, and get to hang out with the cool kids! Good going, Fatty Mcfatster, but we're going to have to ask for those hams back... Oh, those are just your big, firm fucking bitchtits. I'm sorry about that, have a candy bar, lardy. What's the weight limit on scene, anyway?
If you must stray from this formula... DON'T. Spikes and shag can be acceptable, rarely, but they're both sort of last year.
Prime example:
See what I MEAN?! Danger! Beware! This kid is so not cool. He probably listens to Korn or something, and it should be made well aware to the public that this kid is a jackass, and he sucks dicks for money like a petty street whore, and he's a big fag. FAG. Brush the hair out of one eye and over the other, pull down your tiny shirts, and say it once more with me: "FAG!"
- Body modification and make-up. Hell, put it anywhere. All of it. Dual bottom lip peircings, or "snake bites", are extremely popular... now if only they were malignant like the reptile-dispensed wound of the same name. Ears need to wide, gaping, open wounds, perpetually fresh, as you can never stop increasing their size once you start. Sorry, but it's the law. Tattoos, of course, are a classic necessity, even if you're straight edge (See: EDGE), because apparently it's ok to put ink inside your body FOREVER, but booze that you'll piss and breath out before the night is over is a no-no. Sleeves, the term given to full-arm tattoos, while they will also insure that you can never get a reasonable job, are an unavoidable requirement. Besides, who needs a good job? Your future IS the scene!
Make-up is no longer a thing left to girls and Winger. It is expected that you atleast wear some form of eye shadow. The pinker, the better.
- Wear little shoes. Little, narrow, snug, tiny, girlie shoes. Like ballerina shoes, only now they're make for throwing the fuck down in the pit... or something. Big, bulbus skate shoes are a think of the past, man. Get with the times.
- Belts. And not just any belts, mind you... COOL belts. WHITE belts, GIRLIE white belts, with HUGE belt buckles! Belt buckles with cool things on them, like skulls, and bones, and coffins, and blood, and death, and...(See:INTERESTS)
Hell, why not wear TWO?!?!1 It serves no purpose, but it'll certainly make you the coolest kid on the block, and no where near a huge fucking douchebag.
And if you play your cards right...
Fatties love scenester boys! Look at all that oversized poon he's gonna be gettin' tonight!
GIRLS:
- ...
- ...
- ...
- LOOK A HELL OF A LOT LIKE THE GUYS, and visa versa. I mean, shit, look up at those knobcroppers with those fucking Vogue, cartoon temptress haircuts hiding their left eyes. I'd fuck em, and I'm straight as Kobe Briant and R Kelly hangin out at a middle school prom.
I mean, really, take a look at these stone cold hot babes... or ARE they? You decide.
(OK, so this is just on a different level... but not really. Still, what the FUCK?)
- The 80s are back, bitch! Cake on the make-up, buy enough cheap jewelry to sink a small vessel, tease your hair like Axl Rose in the Welcome to the Jungle video (ya know, they could never get his hair to do that again... *shivers*), wear fake pearls, try on a Flock of Seagulls do and wear some of the ugliest fucking legwarmers I've ever seen. That'll definitely get you a Dirty Sanchez, sweetheart.
Visual aid for this, as well? Well, alright! Here's a prime example of the perfect girl; teased hair, huge sunglasses, and enough tacky plastic jewelry to sink a medium-sized leizure cruise. The Love Boat; S.O.S!
"Isaac, make me one last drink, nigger, Stubing is going down with the ship!"
- Shave your eyebrows off. It'll make you look hotter, it's easier than plucking, and it certainly doesn't make you look like aunt Mildrid, or that English teacher you had in elementary school, that was supposedly 100 when your parents went there... Seriously, if I ever woke up after a wild night next to a beautiful girl... or a fatty, depending on how drunk I was, or was pretending to be so it was OK to take her home... and her make-up is smeared all over the place, and that make-up includes her eyebrows... I don't care, I'll beat her up right there, starting while she's still asleep, within an inche of her life.
"Maybe you should stop drinking beer and being fat, and get a show on a channel that's more legitimate than Fox, pig!" Seriously, Mimi, have you lost some weight, gotten a titjob? You look great... Wanna give ME a titjob?
And now, we move onto
- MYSPACE ETIQUETTE FOR GIRLS -
- This is where the dress code takes a unique twist. MySpace is quite different than the real world. People TALK to you there! People who don't really like you that much will ACTUALLY, HONESTLY, DEFINITELY love you and comment about how pretty you are. But, it's a competitive place, so you have to be sure to take certain measures to assure that you've got everyone's attention, constantly. First off, and most importantly, be whores. Really. It's fun. Slip into something that makes the gay guy at Victoria's Secret blush, or absolutely nothing at all, take pictures in your mirror (because, I mean, it would be absurd to get someone else to do it... undressing infront of someone else? That's not lady like!), and watch the fun, and affection, flow like wine at Jesus' pre-crucifixion bash by the river. Also, send out a ridiculous amount of bulletins. Not just every time you get a new picture... just for random bullshit. I really do care that you're out of smokes, or just ate french toast, or just had your first BM of the day, and so does everyone else. Every girl will comment on how pretty you are, and every guy will drool over your cans. What more can you ask for?
Need some visual aid? Here's a few straight from the MS street corner.
*(DEAR MYSPACE MODERATORS: ALL THESE PHOTOS ARE TAKEN STRAIGHT FROM THIS SITE AND WERE NOT DELETED FROM THE MEMBER'S PROFILES. ALL GIRLS BELOW ARE ALSO 18+, SHORT OF THE FIRST ONE. ASSCLOWNS.)
We call this one, "pretty, scene, and reluctant." Lay off the beer, candytits, and you won't have to cover your stomach!
Risque fun with a friend, for an excuse to hoe it up? And to think, some lucky guys get to cover their mouths with those tittie-chiefs so they can throw down harder in the pit. Nice briefs, babe, steal em from your little brother?
Taking an artsy approach. That's twice the scene points! What? Fake pearls?! Don't worry, I'll give you a pearl necklace we can both enjoy.
What's the age cut-off on scene? What's the height limit on those cans? "You must be this tall to receive knob."
That'a girl! This'll definitely make people respect you! God speed!
EDITTED FOR CONTENT... AND THIS ONE WAS MY FAVORITE TOO, GODDAMNIT.
Don't worry, she won't sink.
And remember, when making a caption for your pictures, use innuendo in your other photos (if you HAVE to do a picture without your fun parts in them for some ridiculous reason, make sure the flash is on, every light is on, and the brightness is at 156, so no one can see your shame, and atleast consider mass cleavage), but when putting captions to your REAL pictures (IE the ones that involve your cans), always say something about something behind you, or use deep, thought-provoking emo lyrics. "That lamp needs the lightbulb replaced." Yeah, because everyone is looking at the fucking lamp.
PS.♥Overuse♥the♥ heart ♥. ♥It's ♥ not ♥annoying ♥or ♥completely ♥trite ♥and♥ pointless♥ AT ♥ALL.♥ Plus, ♥ it ♥ definitely ♥ convinces ♥ others ♥ that ♥ you ♥ really ♥ love ♥them.
- Take pictures of yourself from above you, somehow. This sometimes goes for really cute (IE exceptionally girlie and malnourished) guys, as well. Seriously, who the hell is taking these pictures? Some amazingly-helpful-to-my-masterbation-tactics downshirt fairy? Well, thank you cleavage fairy, whoever you are!
I find them EVERYWHERE. I was going to post the pictures that meet the criteria here, but I found SO MANY that I had no choice but to take out another PhotoBucket account. REALLY. You're laughing, I'm not fucking laughing.
- Take pictures of yourself in the mirror, kissing the reflection. Why? Because it's cute, and no one has EVER done it before, it's extremely original... But don't feel uncomfortable, because you're definitely not too ugly that no one else will mack on you, and you have to kiss yourself in the mirror. Now where did you put that glass-mount dildo?
Here's some examples, and WAY too many of them to think that this shit could possibly be original any longer... What the fuck?
I think she's getting a little too into it...
Oh, look, and she even photoshopped a heart in... How unique..."I love myself so much!" Bitch, then that explains it...
Is that chapstick on your lips, or have you just been keepin' busy like a good bitch should?
Aww, pretty pretty princess can't get a date... Your daddy lied. He's not coming back for your tea party, and he didn't go to the store "for just a minute" to get more beer. He's gone. It's time to move on.
If you kept your eyes open like that when you kissed me... I'd run away screaming in terror. Freak.
Aww, poor thing... Maybe you'd get boys to kiss you if you did have holes in your face that squirt water when you drink.
The mirror is covered in a one-sided dialogue, telling herself how pretty she is, and that she definitely isn't lame.
Oh, my GOD! That's a disgusting g... Oh, wait. I think... It's a dude...
I've figured it out! You girls can't find guys to kiss you because they're busy kissing boys. Here, we can see a faggot in his natural habitat, faggoty practicing. Maybe we can get a close view... *shivers* Look how fucking into it he looks.
- MYSPACE ETIQUETTE FOR GUYS -
- Jerk off. No. Seriously. Go fucking nuts.
If jerkin' off to 14 year old girls on the internet is wrong, I'll never be right.
Exactly.
If you play your e-cards right, you just might get the almighty knob from one of these broads, or atleast some cyber sexin, but why worry about the knob from one girl, when you can stare at EVERY girl's tits and pretend? Do you really need instructions on THIS?...
OK!
...WHAT?!..
That's how I do it. Anyway...
- UNISEX MYSPACE ETIQUETTE -
- When you get a haircut, call it "new hair", and label all your old pictures that focus on your hair (ya know, because we're scene, so we have plenty of pictures focusing entirely on our hair) as "old hair".
- Use bandanas, and put them over your mouth. It means you're going to fucking throw down, hardcore, where ever you might be... waiting in line at the grocery store, sitting at the theater waiting for the movie to start, sitting infront of your computer and touching yourself, driving down the fuckin road...
Now, we teach you about the
Maybe you're troubled. Maybe your daddy didn't hug you enough. Maybe you're returning to a state of ape-like primate-ism, and wish to demonstrate that you are, in fact, the alpha male. Maybe you're just a fucking moron who was listening to nu-metal a year or two ago, and still think moshing is cool, but now you mostly just have to do it by yourself. Well, to learn about the divine artform, go here.
Now, for the fashion. YES, there is fashion to the mosh. YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!Mosh pants (camo shorts), mosh hats (cadet hats, or if you're two years behind in style, trucker hats), mosh gloves (any gloves will do, but they must be fingerless, and black, or white), mosh belts (the standard studded white belts, with the buckle on the side), and, of course, mosh canes (diamond-incrusted versions of the ancient sap fossil cane from Jurassic Park) are all requirements for the mosh, and must be owned and worn before taking part in the douchefest at hand. Here's a little math from our friends at SceneDrama to help you understand.
EDITED FOR CONTENT... FUCK!
WWW.THESCENEPOLICE.TK
BRO IT UP, BRO!
A little note about your health...
Why not go straight edge? It gives you the right to be rude, pretentious, and overbearing, moreso than a MySpace account and the proper wardrobe alone. See someone you don't like smoking a cigarette? Beat their ass! See someone you don't like drinking a beer? Beat their ass! See someone you don't like not doing anything against the SxE ethos? Beat their ass! The FSU crew have been doing it for years, and they made a video about it.
Not entirely informed as to what straight edge means? It doesn't matter, neither is anyone else anymore! Bleeding from that vag? Take a Motrin. Need to wash it down? A Bud LIGHT won't kill ya. Just as long as you don't do hard drugs, you get to write all over yourself and slap Xs onto everything with a title (my social security number is now X259-11-3876x)... that's what the SxE life is all about, right?...
Not big, mean, and menacing enough to be in a "krew" and go to shows and kick the shit out of kids, either? No problem. There's a pussified new version of that, too. It's sort of like a clubhouse when you were a little kid. Infact, don't upgrade the mentality, at all. Stick your nose up at everyone who isn't in it, start little fights and battles with people who think it's silly, no girls allowed, and give it a catchy name. Like... I dunno, "The Murder Scene," or "The Ghost Brigade," or "The Murder Kids," something generic and expected, and don't do anything that is implied with your name... Infact, it's kind of like a gang for little scenester-ass babies. Replace the criminal activity like murder, rape, and theft with wearing make-up, editing your MySpace to perfection, and playing in assorted chuggawee bands. Take away the guns, the brass knuckles, the deatdowns, and instead use such menacing weapons as eyeliner, hair straighteners, and bitchy girlfriends with more body mass than you. Put your initials at the end of your MySpace name to identify yourself among other members, and other groups, and when it comes time for gang wars, well, here's where the fun begins... Post a really mean MySpace bulletin, and talk shit about other crews in your blog. Scene war, FIGHT!
Oh, and listen to what Condy the Condom says. You dunno where those fuckin' MySpace girls have been... But you can imagine.
And final, some- If your heart were broken, you'd be dead.
- You ARE NOT Hollywood. Hollywood is a place, you ridiculous, ridiculous fuck.
- It is actually almost NOTHING like bringing a knife to a gun fight.
- She probably WILL die, try aiming for the head.
- You do NOT want a lover you don't have to love... do you even know what that means? It means you want P U S S Y. Is that what you want? Huh?!
- Nor do you want a boy who is so drunk he doesn't take, or a girl that is so sad she doesn't give a fuck. That relationship would suck, wouldn't it?
- You DO NOT break hearts like the west was won. What does that even MEAN?
- The girl does NOT have a face like fucking murder, unless it's bloody, cold, and maybe raped... just a little.
- Yes, you can scream. You've made it blatantly obvious that, yes, you CAN scream.
- The sun is a massive, unbelievably hot ball of methane gases, that has been burning perpetually for the past 100-and-some-odd million years, and should for atleast the next three or four. IT NEVER SLEEPS, sort of like the little girl from The Ring.
- There's no such thing as a .44 caliber love letter.
- If you're bleeding mascara, you need to:
A. See a doctor, fucking fast.
B. Lay off on the make-up. I know it's scene, and probably the ONLY thing that's gonna make you pretty, but really, it's affecting your health. Alcohol in your bloodstream is one thing, but make-up?
- You're NOT OK? Really? I had no idea. Please, do enlighten me, what is it that you're not OK about or with?.. Dumbass.
- Your sugar ain't goin' nowhere. Oh, she'll be goin' down... As soon as I let out the Titanic.
- Trash is inevitably going to taste like trash. It just makes SENSE.
- If art weren't hard, artists wouldn't have talent.
- If I slit your throat, you'd probably have too much trouble talking to apologize for shit.
- Vultures do NOT come in vivid color. They're black, you fucking asshat.
- Pretty girls make FUCKING SANDWICHS. Quit taking pictures of yourself, you stupid whore, and get in the kitchen.
- Caring ISN'T creepy. The Fly was fucking creepy. Which reminds me...
- Bon Jovi is cooler than Atreyu.
- Erections weren't funny when Blink 182 put them every song, and it isn't funny when The Faint made a song out of it, either.
- 43% Burnt isn't DEP's only song, assholes.
- Putting "is dead" after your name was funny ONCE... And that's when I saw someone ELSE do it. But ya know what is dead? Dance music, and it has been since the 80s, you stupid cunts.
- Apparently, it's real fuckin' cool to use the words "faggot" and "nigger" where and whenever you feel like it. Use it in your title, use it in your name, use it in your picture captions... Go fuckin' crazy.
- Say gangsta phrases while being into the indie rock/metalcore scene ISN'T funny. It's just fucking confusing, because at this point, the majority of you who did it are doing it NATURALLY now. HA. Look what you've become.
- There are two types of people in the scene... "Shut up, I'm fat," when really, I could snap their frail forms in between my fingers with little effort, and then, there's SIFs. Which one are you, sugartits?
- ...The Garden State Soundtrack SUCKED.
- And if I ever heard the word LUSH ever fucking again, I swear to God... I'm an alcoholic, not a fucking rainforest.
Watch the BLOG for our
Will it be updated weekly? Probably not. But we can hope.
AIM ICONS AND MORE COMING SOON! Let me get the site back to par first, assholes.
For ideas, additions, subtractions, corrections, hate mail, or whatever the hell else, either send me a message or e-mail us at [email protected]. I am open to ideas, and the page will hopefully improve with time.
If I have used your likeness here... Tough luck, dumbass. You're here because you're the epitome of drooling moron, and I'm not going to remove you from my page or wipe the drool from your bubblin' lips. Sorry, sweetheart. ♥
Music:
AFI
Alexisonfire
The Arcade Fire
As I Lay Dying
Atreyu
Avenged Sevenfold
Bane
The Beatles
Beloved
Ben Folds Five
Between The Buried and Me
The Bled
Bloc Party
The Blood Brothers
Bob Dylan
Botch
Brand New
Bright Eyes
Cave-In
Champion
The Chariot
Coheed and Cambria
Comeback Kid
Converge
The Cure
Cursive
Danzig
Darkest Hour
Dashboard Confessional
Death Cab for Cutie
The Dillinger Escape Plan
Eels
Eighteen Visions
Elliott Smith
Every Time I Die
The Faint
Fallout Boy
Fear Before The March of Flames
From Autumn to Ashes
Funeral For a Friend
The Get-Up Kids
Give Up The Ghost
Glassjaw
Guster
HIM
The Hope Conspiracy
Hopesfall
HORSE the Band
Hot Hot Heat
Hot Water Music
Integrity
Interpol
Iron Maiden
It Dies Today
Jawbreaker
Jimmy Eat World
Johnny Cash
Joy Division
The Killers
Killswitch Engage
The Magnetic Fields
The Mars Volta
Michael Jackson
Mineral
The Misfits
Motley Crue
The Mountain Goats
My Bloody Valentine
My Chemical Romance
Norma Jean
On Broken Wings
Panic! at the Disco
Phantom Planet
Pink Floyd
Planes Mistaken For Stars
Poison The Well
The Police
The Postal Service
Pretty Girls Make Graves
Q and Not U
Queen
Quicksand
Refused
Reggie & the Full Effect
Remembering Never
Rilo Kiley
Rise Against
Rites of Spring
Saetia
Saves The Day
Say Anything
Senses Fail
Shai Hulud
The Shins
Slayer
The Smiths
Snapcase
Sunny Day Real Estate
Symphony In Peril
Taking Back Sunday
Test Icicles
Thrice
Thursday
Tiger Army
Turning Point
U2
Unbroken
Underoath
Unearth
Weezer
With Honor
ZAO
Why?Because all of these bands are or were talented musicians with great songs under their belts (arguably, and I didn't include the shitty bands that have the same stuff happen to them... *cough* FFTL *cough*)... but between their lyrics and titles being copied, translated, mutilated, and obscured for kid's livejournal and MySpace captions, and having their names, icons, and merch used as a symbol of coolness or some sort of fashion statement rather than to promote the music itself, they've all lost a little piece of what they really are.
No, seriously, kiddos, Johnny Cash is spinning in fucking circles and shittin' embalming fluid and worms in his grave every time you wear his shirt to a show to demonstrate how cool and deep and troubled or somesuch shit you are, but you still can't quote any lyrics from "A Boy Named Sue".
It's recently come to my attention that there are three general categories of scenester music fan.
..1, and the most obvious and generic, and sadly most overabundant, is the chuggawee worshippers. What is chuggawee, exactly?
Think about it. "Chuggawee, chugga, chugga wee wee wee."
Norma Jean, The Chariot, Remembering Never, The Bled, August Burns Red, The Alexander Set... any band that basicly thinks they're Botch. These fans are most prone to the Flock of Seagulls haircut, white belts, Asics shoes, and a shitton of black and pink. Tritest of the trite. Though, it seems a lot of these kids either are moving more towards ..3, which I'll get to in a moment, or haven't caught on yet. A shame.
..2 are the good, old, pretentious-ass arts school kids, and their mind-numbing abundance of shitty folkrock and alt-country bands no ones ever heard of. Paying respect to artists who had a great influence on music is one thing, but chances are, if no one has ever heard of them, their influence wasn't so great. You're not a good photographer, your art blows, and foreign films have one major flaw: they don't speak English. Drop out of art school and get started on your craft store cashier job early, dickwads.
..3, and the most prominent in recent times, are the kids who spent so much time making fun of dance music, rap, and techno, that they actually started to like it. It's also attracted a lot of younger listens, who are just starting to find their "special purpose," but still haven't fully realized that masterbating is more effective at blowing a load than bumping and grinding. Same haircuts, same clothes, same MySpace monikers about murderous ballrooms and deadly dance parties, but replace Norma Jean with Panic! at the Disco and Head Automatica. I guess Daryl stopped being talented when he stopped beating the shit out of women.
Being scene consists of more than just listening to a particular music (as with everything else, music you believe to be unique and unheard of outside of your own existence). It also entails KNOWING about music... throwing out band member names as if you know them on a first name basis, comparing actions of yourself and others to things you assume a certain artist might do ("whatcha doin'? Oh, heroine? That's SO Conor of you!"). If you're a gear nerd (which few scene kids are, because apparently scene points are stored in the intellect and motor skills section of the brain), it's knowing every band's equipment, and buying yours accordingly... of course, usually this just comes down to brand loyalty (Gibson for indie kids, or maybe just some fucked up, disgustingly shaped, akward-ass hollowbody, and ESP/LTD if you're into metalcore). It's also knowing every subgenre ever considered or briefly thought about by anyone, and, hell, making up your own. Just take the first thing the first 30 second of the first song that you've heard from a given band, attach "core" to it (and plenty of xs, in capital and lowercase form, if you're online), and go with it. I love noisecore!
PS. It's totally scene to be confused as an Alzheimer’s patient who got a Viagra in his medication. It's come so full circle at this point that, after spending so much time making FUN of Napoleon Dynamite and it's fan base, that you can't stop saying "idiot!" in public. After using ghetto slang and sarcastically claiming you listen to and love gangsta rap, you're no longer sure why you didn't like it in the first place, or whether you like it now or not. It's also scene to listen to SHITTY MUSIC. Lousy recording quality, terrible voices full of tremers are shakes, harmonies in no particular key, out of tune instruments, weird for the sake of weird, bitches that sound like little girl-sheep hybrids. People who can't play classical/folk instruments but try to play it like a guitar, anyway, are always better than actual, talented country artists. Why? Because no one else will. Why? Because it's shitty. But, that's a part of being scene, is being an individual, like everyone else, listening to obscure music just because it's obscure. And if it's so shitty that even other scenesters don't like it, scoop it up, call it yours, it's indie rock gold, baby.
