IASOM profile picture

IASOM

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

I drink alot and laugh alot and laugh alot and drink alot and sometimes I eat alot while drinking alot but never while laughing alot because I would choke and die.Ahem... I have been told that my "about me" section makes me sound like someone who may or may not have an alcohol problem. I would like to address this issue if I may. Some would say that perhaps I, someone I would like to consider as a general embodiment of things that are fun and occasionally not always fun but that sometime later will be looked back upon with fondness and maybe a little regret that it happened, but didn't we all come out of it better people and thank god no one died, may imbibe a little too much, too often. These same people will also bemoan the fact that I don't really go out much anymore and am harder to find than that person who gave you genital warts. So I ponder, sometimes while in the bathtub, how can I be both the one and the other? Sure, you might say that I have chosen to now just sit at home and drink myself into oblivion, and that would be the most obvious answer, but really, its not the right one and besides, nobody likes a smartass. So there you have it, a little bit about me and an addendum to that little bit to clarify what might have been a misconception about some facts that are easily misconstrued and perhaps have negative connotations.I hope that you are all happy that I had to do this. You make the baby jesus weep with your vile insinuations.Kitten killers!!!Oh, and I totally dig my wife. You should totally check out her butt. I do it all the time.

My Interests

I no longer claim to be interested in anything at all, because everytime I express an interest, say in art or books or such, there is always someone who says "wow, I'm interested in that too" and proceeds to be much more interested in it than I am, which makes me feel guilty that I am not as interested in my interests as other people are. I sometimes listen to music and play pool, but those are more passing fancies, if by passing I mean that I will no longer be interested in them when I am dead.Oh, and my fiance. I am interested in all that she does, because I am smitten and so when she rambles on about her day and everything that happened in it and laughs at her own jokes before she's done even telling them, I am totally enthralled. I would be repulsed with myself if I didn't really understand me, but I do, so I am ok with being sappy like a pine bough. I'm stealing her from the market before she realizes that she could totally do better.

I'd like to meet:

me, and then I could hang out with me and we would be the best of friends until I tried to steal my girlfriend or something like that which I am not known to do, but would totally do to fuck over a guy as nice as me just to teach me a lesson about being that nice and such. Then I wouldn't like myself anymore and probably would find someone else to hang out with, which would make me sad. also- Hernan Cortez. (edited) Look, if I don't know you and you want to add me as a friend, thats fine, but lets try some blandishing first. How about some fucking foreplay people!! Send me a message introducing yourself or some such shit. Cash is accepted too.

Movies:

I like Jacques Cousteau and old movies about donkies in the army or donkies that play football. If it has donkies, I will watch it. Donkies and frenchmen.

Television:

I watch Law and Order, it makes me able to sleep at night knowing that Briscoe and Curtis are out there rounding up the crooks and then they go to jail. I also like Aqua Teen Hunger Force for obvious fucking reasons.

Books:

Reading is for nerds!!! So I read alot. Everything. "The Classics", "The Russians", "The Beats", "The Cereal Box", "Road Signs", "The PennySaver". You name it I read it. I even read tea leaves for a while, but the plot is a little slow. If it comes from India, I'll read it, even that stuff they give you in the airport. I like people who have been dead a long time most, but the alive group is putting out some good things, so I can't be too biased. Oh, I almost forgot. I have to always say this. Suetonius' 12 Caesars is my favorite book.

Heroes:

The wind beneath my wings. I've always really respected wind, and air in general. It does so much for me on a daily basis that sometimes, you know, I take it for granted, but I really shouldn't, because air rocks. I like it when its windy and you can lean into the wind and it holds you kind of like dad did when you first started riding a bike with training wheels and you moved maybe 3 miles and hour and were scared shitless of falling the 6 to 10 inches onto the cement. Thats what wind is to me, a good parent.

My Blog

Portland

So it's official. We are not moving to Portland. The higher ups in my department decided that they didn't really need to create a new manager position in that office and would rather just roll status...
Posted by IASOM on Fri, 28 Dec 2007 10:16:00 PST

Wedding Stuff

So Nicole Hernandez and Iain Marrs are getting married late September. I couldn't invite all my loved ones to the wedding, but you can all view the website and say nice things in our online guestbook....
Posted by IASOM on Thu, 27 Jul 2006 11:11:00 PST

July is a busy month

Ok, so after a long hiatus, I feel the need to go to some shows. So, June 30th, Built to Spill July 6th Belle and Sebastian and the Shins July 7th The Rentals and Ozma   Please feel free to come...
Posted by IASOM on Wed, 17 May 2006 05:11:00 PST

I stole from Elizabeth

1. Something purple within 5 feet of you?A clock 2. The sexiest item of clothing you own?my penguin cardigan 3. Your nails were last painted:?years ago whilst I slept 4. The weirdest thing you've eve...
Posted by IASOM on Wed, 10 May 2006 01:21:00 PST

Time Killing

1. How tall are you barefoot? 5'9 2. Have you ever smoked heroin? I don't think so 3. Do you own a gun? Hahahahaha... No 4. Rehab? Yup 5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"? A little, but...
Posted by IASOM on Tue, 11 Apr 2006 04:54:00 PST

I'm getting sick

I have this hanging tickle in the back of my throat and a runny nose and I dont sleep well at night because my throat gets dry and sore and I'm thirsty as if after a night of heavy drinking, but I'm n...
Posted by IASOM on Wed, 05 Apr 2006 08:31:00 PST

Movie Geekdom - how many you seen?

Top 100 overlooked film gems of the 90's - I have seen 70 of them. Miller's Crossing Safe The Sweet Hereafter Lone Star Heavenly Creatures Waiting for Guffman The Hudsucker Proxy Babe: Pig in th...
Posted by IASOM on Mon, 20 Mar 2006 01:25:00 PST

Another quiz

Q: What's the last text message on your cell phone say?:A: "How about spliting one pitcher of beer and playing a few games of pool? Only one pitcher though." Q: Whose bed did you sleep in last night?:...
Posted by IASOM on Wed, 15 Mar 2006 05:08:00 PST

In search of the perfect shit

I decided today, after lunch, that I am going to radically adjust my diet in a series of experiments meant to induce the perfect bm. I want a turd that i can be proud of. One that has body and su...
Posted by IASOM on Wed, 15 Mar 2006 04:44:00 PST

Another quiz! Oh My God!

1. You're infected. Your Myspace Top 8 has the cure. One must die. Choose?Bust a deal, face the wheel  GULAG!!2. What Myspace friend knows the REAL you best?German, Bennett or Nicole. STEEL CAGE MATC...
Posted by IASOM on Wed, 08 Mar 2006 01:11:00 PST