Jon profile picture

Jon

All the scene kids have been killed off, people are dancing in the streets, tee shirt sales are up.

About Me


Alright you nosey bastards, I'm Jon. I fall down a lot. Kind of a smart ass; opinionated. A classy man of sorts. I'm not a tanned, hot dude. However, I make up for this in sheer brilliance. Not what you would expect, or maybe I am... who knows? Oh you do? Fuck that, you know nothing...
My interests are varied but oddly specific. Horrible at matching clothes, but almost always found wearing a white tee shirt or a Strickland Jaeger work shirt... basically the same 4 outfits really. I like extreme silliness, books & and I laugh at fucked up things or more often at inappropriate times. Oregon Hill resident.
Chances are if you like, or idolize Paris Hilton I want to beat you like a pinata. Stay away.
"I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love. I felt in myself a superabundance of energy which found no outlet in our quiet life."
Leo Tolstoy- Family Happiness
"i hate you because you're not here and i miss my friend Jon....the guy that let me push him through glass doors and drank with me on the poarch and took a lizard to a bar and lost it. My firend Jon who used to interrupt my sexcapades and cover my eyes while i was driving and projectile vomitted all over the side of Shockoe Bottom....come back to RVA :("
Stephanie Alexander- Friend
"You make me horny, my anus twitches."
Jared Temple- Friend
"A learning experience is one of those things that says, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.'"
Douglas Adams

My Interests

Yes, I'm awesome.

I'd like to meet:


People, who have their own free thoughts and use their brain. Intellectual low lifes, fuck ups, and naked people. Got substance? I want some of it. Someone funny, I mean FUNNY, not slightly amusing. Like I want to fuck you, you're that funny, kinda funny.

Stephen Hawking. The dude is in a wheel chair and he's super smart... not a retard at all.

Are you a girl who doesn't take the "dating thing" too seriously? You are? Well then you're wasting my time! And as a SWGM (the G is for Gregarious!)I'm emotionally dead, hollow inside/full of ground glass, spiders. Enjoys long walks. Length and duration of walks is negotiable. I'm flexible up to a point and as long as costs are discussed ahead of time. Anything else, you're paying for. Walks, beer and trouble ain't half of it, sister. I got shit to do and it ain't with you. Do I sound like your "Prince Charming"? No fatties, big tits a must. Not interested? Then fuck you, you choosy bitch. P.S. Please, no hitting.

Basically, people I have abolutely nothing in common with. Common interests are way overrated.

I Need A Drink...

Music:

I like (a lot of shitty) music. I'm not an elitist when it comes to what music I listen to, you shouldn't be either, but whats up with all this emo-core bullshit?

Movies:

I like movies... but "Funny Ha-Ha" sucked. Never see that.

Television:

Futurama, Heroes, Mr. Show, LOST, Arrested Development... thats really the extent of my TV Watching.

Books:

Sure I enjoy paper with squiggly things on it.

Heroes:

"Everything was fine until dickless here cut off the power grid."
"Is this true?"
"Yes your honor, this man has no dick."

Bill Murray-Ghostbusters

My Blog

Two Key Traits Of A Woman

Traits of a good woman:She'll put up with your bullshit and act like it's what she loves about you.Traits of a bad woman:She has a penis.
Posted by Jon on Sun, 03 Aug 2008 10:24:00 PST

Do you remember when a city had so much personality..?

What the fuck is up Richmond?
Posted by Jon on Fri, 11 Jan 2008 07:46:00 PST

I'm an ideas man. I think I proved that with "Fuck Mountain".

I agree. Anything Britney Spears has done since the beginning of Feb. is cooler than anything Eric Clapton has EVER done.Boston is boring...Thats all....
Posted by Jon on Wed, 21 Mar 2007 05:56:00 PST

...Fuck, I don't know.

I had potato chips and left over garlic bread from two days ago for breakfast. Obviously I am an adult fully capable of looking out for my own well being. Now I'm going to go make a fort out of the co...
Posted by Jon on Thu, 08 Mar 2007 11:38:00 PST

Also.

Predictability is a mortal sin. Boring is the bastard child of Predictable. When something is so predictable that NOTHING is new or different, then it's officially boring. I'm certainly in need of som...
Posted by Jon on Tue, 06 Feb 2007 06:46:00 PST

I aint gonna bullshit you...

I believe that a sandwich will always taste better if someone else makes it for you.
Posted by Jon on Thu, 25 Jan 2007 01:54:00 PST

Entertainment Vs. Science & Medicine

Week old news is still news, but am I the only person who found it bizarre that Youtube.com beat out a vaccine that prevents Box Cancer (AKA Cervical Cancer) and immunize against HPV in Time Magazine...
Posted by Jon on Tue, 14 Nov 2006 07:40:00 PST

A Short Hate List To Pass The Time

People who ride the brake when driving: I almost always get stuck behind these dicks.SUVs: There is no reason to own one of these things unless you live in a South American Jungle.This is mostly for t...
Posted by Jon on Thu, 27 Jul 2006 05:47:00 PST

I Come Bearing An Update, And Photos.

Hello virtual reality its me again. It's been a stressful week. Things are back to normal. I'm currently attempting to hunt down my thirty-three year old half brother that I've never met. And also a h...
Posted by Jon on Sat, 08 Jul 2006 12:07:00 PST

im dropping science on yo ass like Galileo dropped a ping-pong ball

So in a week I'm moving to Sterling into a house thats destined for destruction at the end of the year. The house shows and stories to follow will blow the Bible right out of the water in terms of tha...
Posted by Jon on Sat, 06 May 2006 06:27:00 PST