Rob of War profile picture

Rob of War

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

About Me



Certified Genius (for proof click on the image above) college graduate, with a C+ average. Hey, you elected a guy like that once, you can do it again! Seriously, how bad could I be? Presidential Candidate for the year 2036. Vote for Rob.

Until then, vote for Barack. And don't hurt the panda...

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adopt your own virtual pet! ..

My Interests



Poot-tee-weet.

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I'd like to meet:

People with funny names. Like Wolfowitz, Scooter, and Rummy. They seem to get things done. And when I'm elected, my first order of business will be to set up a steel cage match with Michael Moore versus Mel Gibson. To be immediately followed by a mud wrestling bout with Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears squaring off against Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie. Hopefully in 29 years these names will still be funny.

Music:

Stuff that sounds good: Bob Dylan, The Beatles, Elvis, Otis Redding, Lou Reed, Coltrane & Davis, The Bird, The Who, OutKast, The Roots, White Stripes, The Flaming Lips, Beck, Arcade Fire, The Killers, Johnny Cash, Smashing Pumpkins, The Eels, Elliot Smith, Modest Mouse, Swank... etc.

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Movies:

Stuff that looks good: 8 1/2, 12 Monkeys, 21 Grams, Adaptation, Adventures of Baron Munchausen, A Fist Full of Dollars, Akira, Akira Kurosawa's Dreams, Amarcord, Amelie, American Movie, American Splendor, Amores Perros, Apocalypse Now, Alien, Aliens, Back to the Future (1-3) Bad Sleep Well, Barton Fink, Batman, Batman Returns, Before Sunrise, Being John Malkovich, Big Lebowski, Blade Runner, Boogie Nights, Borat, Bottle Rocket, Brazil, Bubba Ho-Tep, Chasing Amy, Citizen Kane, Clerks, Children of Men, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, Caddyshack, Cowboy Bebop, Croupier, Dawn of the Dead, The Departed, The Devil's Backbone, Dogma, Donnie Darko, Election, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Fargo, Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas, Following, For a Few Dollars More, Get Shorty, Gladiator, Godfather (1-2), Good, The Bad, & The Ugly Happiness, Hiroshima Mon Amour, Home for the Holidays, Hours, Indiana Jones (1-3), Jabberwocky, Jackie Brown, Jurassic Park, Kill Bill, Last Temptation of Christ, Letters From Iwo Jima, Magnolia, Man Who Wasn't There, Mars Attacks, Memento, Minority Report, Monty Python & The Holy Grail & The Life of Brian & The Meaning of Life, Night of the Living Dead, Notorious, Once Upon a Time in America, Out of Sight, Pan's Labyrinth, Pi, Psycho, Pulp Fiction, Punch-Drunk Love, Rashomon, Reno 911!: Miama: The Movie, Requiem for a Dream, Reservoir Dogs, Roger Dodger, Royal Tenenbaums, Rushmore, Sanjuro, Seven Samurai, Sexia y Lucia, Sixth Sense, Taxi Driver, Trainspotting, Transformers: The Movie, Unbreakable, Vertigo, Waking Life, Willow, X-Men, X2, Yojimbo, and Zero Effect. How's that for an alphabet?

Television:

Stuff that watches good: 24, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Arrested Development, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Chappelle's Show, Colbert Report, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Daily Show, Daria, Everybody Loves Raymond, Everything's Sunny in Philadelphia, Family Guy, Friends, Futurama, Home Movies, King of the Hill, Lost, My Name is Earl, News Radio, Pete & Pete, Reno 911!, Rome, Salute Your Shorts, Sealab 2021, Seinfeld, Simpsons, Smallville, Space Ghost, South Park, The Office, The X-Files, 30 Rock; I'm sure there's others....

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Books:

Stuff that reads good: Kurt Vonnegut (thus my AIM vonnegution), Neil Gaiman & John Milton ("Sandman" and "Paradise Lost" are my two favorite stories ever), JK Rowling, Stephen King, Mark Twain, Jon Stewart, Dave Eggers, David Sedaris, David Foster Wallace, Mark Z. Danielewski, Michael Moore, Raymond Chandler, Terry Pratchett, Stephen Brust, Alan Moore, Brian M. Bendis, Frank Miller, Kate Chopin, Gertrude Stein, Ernest Hemingway, Bill Waterson (Calvin & Hobbes is still the greatest...)

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Heroes:

Stuff that helps people good: pretty much anybody involved in any of the material in all the previous spots. Besides all that... Batman, The Dalai Lama, Barack Obama, Albert Einstein, Scipio Africanus, John Milton, Martin Luther King jr., ...Joss Whedon also deserves a special shout-out.

Oh, and John McCain used to be listed here, but until he steps back from the brink, away from the dark side (of Conservatism; i.e. the Religious Right), he will remain blackballed. Especially when Obama wins in '08. BUH-ZING!

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My Blog

I Have a Theory

Actually, I have two theories. Or, one theory with two parts.Firstly:John McCain has "suspended" his campaign to "help" Congress with the $700 billion bailout of Wall Street because he's running scare...
Posted by Rob of War on Thu, 25 Sep 2008 04:17:00 PST

Rememory (a short story, edited)

Rememory By Rob Payne From the audio logs of Dr. Julian Fell, Primary Caregiver for the Department of Mental Health and Recovery, Main Branch  Boulder, Colorado Are we rolling? Yes? Ahem. This...
Posted by Rob of War on Thu, 28 Aug 2008 05:08:00 PST

Watching the DNC tonight...

...I have come to one, singularly definitive conclusion about the whole shebang.Savannah Guthrie is sexy. Google her.Also, if one can believe the reports... die-hard Hillary Clinton supporters are fuc...
Posted by Rob of War on Wed, 27 Aug 2008 06:17:00 PST

Everybody Poops...

...but some people destroy their bowels on a daily basis in my office.Well, not in my office. I don't have an office. But not in my cube, either. In the men's room on my company's floor in the office ...
Posted by Rob of War on Thu, 21 Aug 2008 05:08:00 PST

Shia LaBeouf and a New Job

As some of you are awares, I began a new job last week. Doubtful it's the start of a new career, but, so far, it's a gazillion times better than my last job. And yes, "gazillion" is an approved adject...
Posted by Rob of War on Fri, 01 Aug 2008 04:42:00 PST

Workland Tales Comic (Prologue, Part 1)

(sorry, it's not about The Dark Knight... yet)Here's the very first Workland Tales comic for public consumption! It's the first part of a two part (go figure) prologue. Part two will be posted some ti...
Posted by Rob of War on Sat, 19 Jul 2008 11:52:00 PST

Eulogy

Today I say goodbye to a dear friend. Her name was Audrey. She was in my life for five years. I saw her practically every day in that time, and while it's true that our love was strongest at the begin...
Posted by Rob of War on Thu, 26 Jun 2008 12:59:00 PST

Caucus is a Four Letter Word

By that, I mean, it's a messy affair.I attended my first Caucus tonight, for Precinct 310 in Lewisville, TX.  I stood in line, just to enter City Hall, for about an hour.  And then I waited ...
Posted by Rob of War on Wed, 05 Mar 2008 09:49:00 PST

Take a Picture, Itll Last Longer. But Not Forever.

I meant to share this item the other day, but I got busy and forgot.  Sort of.  I guess sleeping and being stuck at work and sleeping is getting busy.  Not getting biz-ay, if you catch ...
Posted by Rob of War on Sat, 16 Feb 2008 06:57:00 PST

Attention! This Woman Needs My Help!

So, the other day I randomly logged onto my old Friendster account, something I haven't done more than once or twice in the last 3 years or so.  Because, really, what's the point?  But I was...
Posted by Rob of War on Sat, 16 Feb 2008 06:19:00 PST