There really isn't all that much to me. I am obsessed with rock music. I'm not that complicated. I just like to have a good time. I can be shy till I get to know you a little bit better. I'm pretty much blunt about everything. If I don't like it I wont hide it. Theres no point in hiding things from others. Ive got my hobbies and my interests, so if your for real and would like to talk sometime. Maybe ill tell you what they are. I'm no prize by no means. I just know that whoever I end up with will be happy and thats all I can offer is happiness.
Looking back at where I've come from and how I managed to get here amazes me. Looking forward to where I have to go scares me a little. My life as a boy ends here, and my life as a man begins and I just know it's going to be a long hard road. So, who am I? Aside from the name, Billy, who am I in my life, to myself?
Well, here's what I think.
I am somehow extremely talented. I am able to learn about things that interest me and inspires me. This drive allows me to achieve great things. I dislike people ordering me how to do things and I enjoy doing things my way at my own leisure. How I'll survive in the real world, I haven't a clue. My mind is spontaneous, but my life isn't.
I am aware of what I must do, but most of the times I cannot bring myself to do it. I have dreams, plenty of it. But I lack the will to fulfill it. Music is my muse. I listen to it when I am angry or sad. It's what keeps me going. I am happy I discovered music, for if not, I would've taken my own life years ago. I finally have an outlet to vent my frustrations. As said before, I dislike confrontations. This includes when something frustrates me. I always think of 'what if' and 'if only'. It is true that those two words are the saddest words in the world, for it represents disappointment and regret.
I am not a negative person, but ironically, negativity is what drives me. My best work (musically, artistically) come when I am in a state of depression and anger. This puts me in a rut, and I have no clue how I can live my remaining life if I don't somehow learn to find a new drive for my creativity. I do believe, somewhere inside this head of mind, lies a chamber of ideas which will bring success to me. Yet, I do not have the key to unlocking this hidden room. I will live a successful life.
What do I want for my birthday?
Forgiveness is all I ask. Nothing more. I ask for forgiveness for all my failures in the past, and all my failures to come. Forgiveness for failing everyone, but myself.
Thank you, family and friends. For your support, love and guidance in my 24 years of my life. I love all of you.
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