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ritch hedberg

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"This kiss, unfinished, lips to receiver in the parking lot, a pucker shot through a fiber optic wire to an answering machine toward switchboards and stations transmitting in blips to satellites, this kiss thrown earthward and shooting down coils, around pipeline and electric power lumbering underground, up threads and transistors and transference points. This kiss is zeroes and ones jumbled and tossed into a pneumatic system, unscrambled at the end and scrawled onto a tape recorder slowly rolling at the side of your bed, then slapping back, reverbed off the ringer, a tinny phantom of the smooch like a smack on an aluminum can, up the same veins through the belly of the same satellite and softly to the side of my head; this kiss is home before the next exhalation leaves. I'm stooped in the booth, pounding quarters into the slot; yellow light droops over the asphalt, and your ghost, too cool and elusive with those hands and mouth sings around me in the smell of gasoline; whose mouth is this, scratched in static, some droplet of a sigh, atomized, and sputtering digitized into my room?"
- Mike Doughty

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[ ritch hedberg ]

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I play bass

gregor?

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aim = shanked jenga

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My Blog

its VERY easy being me...

[I'm at work walking back to get 3 cases of bulbs. I ask brain to go with me]Brian: this reminds of of something that would happen in prison.I unzip my pants in a very gay way....then an idea hits!Ric...
Posted by ritch hedberg on Tue, 30 Jan 2007 08:38:00 PST

oh my fuckin god

sometimes people i know say things about other people i know. i usally dont believe them. well its pretty safe to say they were right. you know what sucks about life, along time ago some douche lied a...
Posted by ritch hedberg on Mon, 22 Jan 2007 04:31:00 PST

ladies an dudes......beelzebub

the coolest mothafucka on the planet
Posted by ritch hedberg on Tue, 09 Jan 2007 05:54:00 PST

show show

yesterday we played a halloween/christmas show. it was pretty bitcheni ran outside and chased a car full of girls for like 20 feet. haha fuck im awesome..derkaoh yeah.....jims dick in a box!...
Posted by ritch hedberg on Sat, 23 Dec 2006 08:59:00 PST

balled of a broken smoker

dear cigarettes,i can still remember our mid-day rendezvous in what the township now calls a library parking lot. such rebellious nature [sigh]. anyways. that was the past, man. like 11 years ago....a...
Posted by ritch hedberg on Sun, 17 Dec 2006 05:14:00 PST

For reals

I'm sick of wasting my energy on breathing properly.Instead I could be ballrom dancing or learning japanese. Instead the taste has developed into full blow addiction.So I set my lungs ablaze cursing t...
Posted by ritch hedberg on Fri, 15 Dec 2006 11:50:00 PST

here come the cliches!

last night i asked my boss if i could have the day off. its really had for me to focus at work right now. hopefully tomorow will be better. i cried on the way home last night.i immediately thought of ...
Posted by ritch hedberg on Thu, 14 Dec 2006 09:19:00 PST

not breathing

im destroyed i deserve this please come back i love you
Posted by ritch hedberg on Wed, 13 Dec 2006 03:35:00 PST

its funny

im usally really busy. not ness doing something important, but doing something. i often "pray" for more free time so i can come up with cool bass riffs or maybe write something cool for later filming....
Posted by ritch hedberg on Sun, 03 Dec 2006 09:04:00 PST

Panda-Monium

Posted By:KiLLaH PeZGet this video and more at MySpace.com...
Posted by ritch hedberg on Tue, 14 Nov 2006 09:58:00 PST