Shelby-aka Miss Mary-Jane Watson â„¢

"It's only after you've lost everything, that you're free to do anything."
**Our real discoveries come from chaos, from going to the place that looks wrong and stupid and foolish**Chuck Palahniuk
"Well-behaved women seldom make history"
B.I.T.C.H. = Being In Total Control Of Herself
If I was you, I might hate me to, but I am not, and frankly my dear I do not give a damn
"love don't hurt me this time be for real or kindly let this lonely soldier be fear my old friend disappear leave me to regard the world in better ways than what is wrong and what cannot bedon't say you'll change"
~TVT~

Hello, my real name is Shelby and I am totally awesome if I think about it.
Yes, Shelby like the mustang car, and like Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias.
For those of you fluent in Japanese, Konnichiwa, "SHERUBII" deska
And yes my myspace "handle" is from Spider-Man. I am also known as bleumonday on my main .. journal.
I live in the San Francisco Bay Area with ties to the peninsula(where I am right now/Foster City) as well as San Jose and Santa Rosa. I also have ties to Minnesota and Ohio as well as England and Germany.
Although I have done my best to try and shy away from the wreckage of the past those sort of people seem to have plenty time on their hands and find me. Yes I am that girl. The one you teased and tortured and made fun of her clothes in middle school. Your mommmy and daddy were rich and I did not have lots of extra money. I was also an uber geek with all of my brains and prententious ways. These days everyone seems to love my style. And they get a kick out of my oddities. So screw you, karma is a bitch, I don't want you to come say hello. However I kept the big mouth I had back then, and if you pop in I will likely tell you that you look tore up if you do. So there
I am tired of people that use me. Both male and female. I am tired of petty jealous girls in particular. I don't need people that play childish games, so if this is you, please stop here and go away forever.
In a way it is curious I keep this profile, as I am growing more and more picky about the company I give my precious spare time to. Life is not a popularity contest, nor am I out to save the world and all its problems anymore. I would rather have a handful of good friends I know I can trust even if I may not see them as often as I like,& hold them close to my heart, than tons and tons of people I have to work to impress or the kind that bring me down with their hassles and such. I am not as tough/hard as I appear, I am just sort of protective and guarded you might say. It is hard work trying to stay true to yourself when the world tries to steer you in the other direction on a daily basis.
I am very nice, until you betray me or try to disrupt my life with petty bullshit. Then I can be downright mean and cruel and I will not hesitate to knock your face in and show you the door(metaphorically speaking). I do not feel guilty about not being a doormat, and standing my ground. Word to the wise.
It seems that everyone these days has their "flaws." Be it ADD, anxiety, depression or whatever. But are they really short-comings? Sometimes it is the little imperfections that make you great in the long run and set you apart. I actually like the fallen angels, the ones with stories and scars. To get personal, I would say my true "demon" is being a perfectionist. For I know it is this drive that sometimes...ok often makes me think I am not smart, thin, good, etc. enough and brings on those not so happy feelings. It is OK. I no longer think of them as flaws, or shortcomings, but just challenges I have to work through. I will not give up the fight to not let these things ruin my life, but rather use them for good. I wish everyone would do the same. Not only for themselves, but before judging others as well
My mother also taught me to stand up for myself and what I believe in. To not back down or sacrifice myself even if people laugh, or abandon me. It is hard, but in the end, I would rather be hated for what I am than loved for what I am not. And I am pretty lucky. Damn lucky actually. I have lots of people that look to me for strength and admire that. So I have to just check myself when the opposite happens. Oh, life that is just the way you are.
I am not your typical girl. In fact, I am not your typical anything. I constantly reinvent myself inside and out. Boxes are for shoes and old keepsakes and labels are for envelopes. Don't try to tell me you know who I am or that you have me all figured out. Even I cannot make this statement. I am forever a perfectionist and a work in progress. By the time I near any goal I have, I have likely to have changed the terms and am already aiming to accomplish or change yet again.
Despite my girly appearance I tend to act like a teenage boy. I am brash, enjoy crass/silly humor, love comics and toys. I make up words and curse on occasion(ok quite often)
Do not let that scare you, I have a softer, quiet side. But you have to earn my trust.
I have an obsession with all things music. Interpol especially. I have seen them more than ten times in a little over a year and met them several times. Fan girl much??? I also can quote the Smashing Pumpkins and the Cure as well as many other bands at random. Get used to it. Need a partner for trivia? I am your girl.
I am neither as good or bad as some make me out to be. I am just someone who does her best.
I live for fashion as fun. I am hardly a label whore. I don't limit myself to any particular style/genre whatever you want to call it..The Cure(well music in general, but well you know)
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