The CEO of Awesome profile picture

The CEO of Awesome

He's won every costume contest. And has yet to dress in costume.

About Me

I breathe oxygen...

My Interests

Writing, advertising, sports...some girl I've been seeing, and other stuff that I really cant think of right now...

I'd like to meet:

Peter Gibbons, Josh Baskin, Bob Harris, Andrew Largeman, Tony Perkis, H.I. McDunnough, The Dude, Michael Myers, Freddie Krugar, Coop and Andy, Donnie Darko, Harry Goldfarb, Lawrence 'Chunk' Cohen, John Bender, Marty McFly and Dr. Emmett Brown, Neo, Trinity, Agent Smith and even Cypher, Scott Howard, Randall "Pink" Floyd and David Wooderson, Navin R. Johnson, Tyler Durden, and Horace and Little Ray.

Music:

Death Cab for Cutie, Sparta, Placebo, 311, Incubus, Pink Floyd, Coldplay, The Killers, Postal Service, John Mayer, The Strokes, Alkaline Trio, Jesus and Mary Chain, Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Beastie Boys, Reel Big Fish, Modest Mouse, AC/DC, Queen, Johnny Cash, Neutral Milk Hotel, Luda, Outkast, Pixies, Snow Patrol, They Might Be Giants, Led Zeppelin, Allman Bros. Beatles, Longwave, Danny Elfman, John Williams, Dashboard Confessional, AIR, Black Rebel Motorcyle, Decembrists, Dave Matthews Band, Modern Sway, Michelle Branch, Interpol, Cursive, Flickerstick, Ween, Stereophonic, The Shins, Frou, Frou, Morcheeba, Deftones, Rage Agains the Machine, Abandoned Pools, Matt Pond Pa, Blocparty, At the Drive In, Fleetwood Mac a little GNR doesn't hurt anyone, and the other classics: Beethoven, Mozart, and other guys who I cant pronounce or begin to spell their names, Of Montreal, Money Paper Hearts, Band of Horses

Movies:

Raising Arizona (anything by the Cohen Brothers...The Big Lebowski, The Hudsucker Proxy...you get the idea), Matrix, Dazed and Confused, Lost in Translation, Teen Wolf, Moulon Rouge, Requiem for a Dream, Back to the Future, Fight Club, Donny Darko, High Fidelity, Full Metal Jacket, The 5th Room, History of the World Part 1 and 2 if it ever comes out, PCU, Varsity Blues, The Jerk, Road to Perdition, Big, Money Pit, anything with Tom Hanks except Bonfire of the Vanity-wrong fucking move Tom, wrong fucking move...Garden State, Somewhere in the Middle (Coming Soon), Obotic Obots (Also coming soon), Thumbsucker, Stand by Me, Grandmas Boy

Television:

China Beach, Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad, Grey's Anatomy, Lost, Scrubs, 30 Rock, PTI, The Office, 24, Campus Ladies, Freaks and Geeks, Mr. Show, Futurama, Aqua teen hunger force, Seinfeld, Becker, yeah, I used to hate it until I was forced to watch it on a plane. After laughing at the episode, I attempted to hang myself with my oxygen mask but ended up passing out on the floor. I awoke to the sounds of the wheels landing on the ground. A fat older black woman was staring at me and from the expression on her face, it seems she had been fixated on the drool which hung to the side of my cheek for some time now. I sat up and asked her how long I had been unconscious, to which she replied, about an hour. I asked her what happened and she pointed to the broken oxygen mask which dangled from the storage compartment. I then looked at the empty seat which belonged to me. On the cover of the inflight magazine was an interview with a one Ted Danson. My memory had caught up with me and I recalled the horrid circumstance which occurred in that very seat. I stood up and grabbed the back of my head which felt bruised probably from the spill I took after the string broke from my oxygen mask. I grabbed my suitcase from under my seat and waited to exit the plane. I had watched Becker. I found it funny and now I had to live with it. SportsCenter, Baseball, College Football, Curb your Enthusiasm, Six Feet Under, PrisonBreak, the OC, Good Eats, Unwrapped, and PBS on Sunday mornings.

Books:

Cathcer in the Rye, Jurassic Park, Anything by Roald Dahl, DaVinci Code, Reincarnation in Venice, Tales of a 4th Grade Nothing, Macbeth, the Regulators, Me Talk Pretty One Day. I just listed every book I've ever read.

Heroes:

Flash Gordon and Jesus

My Blog

Bathroom Behavior

Man enters a bathroom. He pushes on one of the stall doors, but to his surprise finds it is actually occupied by another man who is reading the paper while trying to shit.  ManOh, sorry. ...
Posted by The CEO of Awesome on Fri, 13 Apr 2007 12:17:00 PST

Fuck Godsmack

So there I am quietly scanning the newest edition of Creative Loafing, listening to some Sparta and drinking a refreshing whatever that thing is of Capri Sun. Oh, John Mayer will be in town, how nice....
Posted by The CEO of Awesome on Wed, 21 Mar 2007 11:23:00 PST

I'm the Baby's Daddy

I did it. I'm the father of Anna Nicole's daughter. I really don't even know how it happened. We were so careful. Well, I was. She was maxed out on Quaaludes and vicodin, percocet and amphetamines&and...
Posted by The CEO of Awesome on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 09:54:00 PST

What does Illegal mean nowadays?

It means that whatever the action, it's forbidden by law. So, why is Bank of America issuing credit cards to illegal aliensand getting away with it? According to Bank of "America" these regulations...
Posted by The CEO of Awesome on Wed, 14 Feb 2007 02:03:00 PST

I dreamt I was dreaming.

I knew it. Those of you who laughed at me when I revealed the secrecy of my daily car naps can eat your hearts out. According to Yahoo news (yeah, who needs Shepard Smith when you've got Yahoo!) new r...
Posted by The CEO of Awesome on Tue, 13 Feb 2007 08:47:00 PST

Lara Wimple and Her Big Red Pimples

This is the tale of a sweet young girlWith bright green eyes and hair that curledHer quiet nature kept simple and pureHer favorite show was Gilmore Girls Her name was Lara from the Wimple cla...
Posted by The CEO of Awesome on Fri, 26 Jan 2007 08:50:00 PST

IT'S COMCASTIC!!!

I'm bored and have nothing left to do. I've already skimmed this site enough times to win a myspace memory contest. "What is Skittles quote and who is her number one?" "I'd rather be shitting blood/Sk...
Posted by The CEO of Awesome on Tue, 19 Dec 2006 12:12:00 PST

Michael Goldberg and the Angry Punch Bowl

It was cold and damp outside with an overcast that seemed as if God had covered his creation up with a blanket to mask his dissatisfaction. The air was still, the kind of night when everything and any...
Posted by The CEO of Awesome on Wed, 04 Oct 2006 09:32:00 PST

How To Get the Girl

My friend Marvin, crazy, impressionable Marvin with his black tux and accentuated cheek bones, asked me, Judd, how did you get such a pretty girl to not only pose in a picture with you but have the au...
Posted by The CEO of Awesome on Wed, 12 Jul 2006 09:02:00 PST

Lara Daprano and the Everlasting Bong Popper. (Part 1)

She had dreams about this. And they werent just at night. Sometimes they were right smack dap in the middle of the day. Other times it was while driving down the road, parked in front of her computer,...
Posted by The CEO of Awesome on Wed, 07 Jun 2006 08:01:00 PST