I remember walking back to my dorm after a long day of classes at Cedarville University. It was probably about ten years ago. I was chatting with a fellow musician about some "important" musical concept or whatnot when seemingly out of nowhere, an intense feeling of purposelessness flooded over me. The study of music suddenly became a meaningless subject to me. What was the purpose of my intense study? Was it just to make me happy? Was it just to make sure I had a chance of living out my dream of being a songwriter, singer, musician, or whatever? Right then and there, I knew my pursuits just weren't good enough anymore.I did however finish my music degree at Cedarville, not knowing what role it would play in my life or if it ever would. During the next few years, God began teaching me the meaning of faith and how my trust in who God is affects every decision I make. Learning to say "Anytime or Anywhere" to God, was an incredibly tough decision for me. What if it means I'll never get to live out my dreams, dreams that I've had since I was a child? Could I really give that up? Do I trust God enough to let Him have control of my life? Would I be able to relinquish that control to the one who made me, the one who knows me better than I know myself, the one who will never let me down, the one who is my loving Father?It took a while, but I finally said "Yes God! I'll go where you want me to go!"And so, for the first 6 years of my marriage, I put music on the sidelines. During that time, I found a far more profitable and purposeful use of my time, gifts, and talents through serving my family and church. I discovered an intense joy that comes from serving others instead of simply serving myself, a satisfaction much deeper than the applause of others.Our God is good and he wants his children to have good things, but knows we will never be satisfied if we place our happiness in those things. He knows we will never be satisfied if we put our hope in the approval of others. It saddens me to see so many people live their life waiting for the approval and acceptance of other people when it is God's opinion that matters the most. And He stands there ready, with arms open wide to accept you. All you have to do is look to Him.Max Lucado has written a children's book called "You Are Special" that lays bare the absurdity that we sometimes put ourselves through just to be popular or accepted by other people. If you haven't read this one, I absolutely recommend it. There is also an animated version of the book that I really like.So, now that it has pleased God to bring music back into my life, what am I to do with it? Well, I can tell you truthfully and honestly that I don't have to succeed at this to be happy. . . and that is an incredibly awesome and freeing feeling!I have also decided that if I sell any of the music from my current CD, all of the proceeds will go directly to the building fund at my home church in Fairborn, Ohio. My husband is the children's pastor of the church and the children he ministers to are in desperate need of new facilities.I will also only continue selling music if I believe God is using the songs to change people's lives or lead people to a closer walk with Him. So, in lieu of compliments about the music, please leave comments that let me know if the songs have touched your heart in any way.I really enjoy writing music and God has been so good to allow me to do it in the midst of the chaos of being the mother of four small children. This project, "Life", has been recorded throughout the past year in my personal studio, which is really just my bedroom, but I think you will be pleased with the quality.Please consider purchasing this CD or one of the music downloads and help support an awesome children's ministry at my church!
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