Doing Summersaults...Walking in circles...Riding donkey's... day drinking...treating my body like an amusement park...throwing rocks at cars...fighting the man...putting saran rap over public toilets...laughing at people less fortunate than I am...Flying kites...Back spins...front spins...head spins...making myself dizzy...sniffing glue..telling people I'm lefty...saving kittens from trees...pirating the high seas seaching for burried treasure...playing hopscotch...playing the recorder...winning a copper medal at the special olympics...and obiviously being as big a jackass as poss!!
I'd like to meet:
I'd like to meet...Darth Vader, (he had a fake hand but never let go of his dream of intergalactic domination)...Grounds Keeper Willy...The idiot who first put that Omarosa bitch on TV...Officer Friendly....Wendy of Wendy's...Smokey the bear...L. Ron Hubbard so I can kick him in his Scientologist Balls....And of course all the people on myspace who take photo's of their abs and or tits to get attention...showing off your six pack abs is the coolest...if I was that cool I would be soo much cooler then the cool people who think it's sooo cool to show off their cool abs...in other words showing your abs is the new not showing your abs!!! Thank you for your time, and you can grab a cookie on the way out.
Music:
Most anything...Music is the way to the soul...and I'm James Brown Mother F*cker! and The Smashing Pumpkins will get back together and once again rule the world...cause Billy Corgan is the man....PEARL JAM AND U2 COVERING ROCKININ IN THE FREE WORLD
Movies:
A Christmas Story...I played Scott Farcus...and I was AWESOME!!! Oh and Beaches...I just love that Bette Midler...Way to many to list, but here are a few...Fletch...Spies like us...Strange brew...Slap shot...Harlem Nights...Caddyshack...Happy Gilmore...Basketball Dairy's...Boondock Saints...Anything with Keanu...he is soo dreamy...Movies about Gladiators...Kangaroo Jack...Kazam...Crazy Coed's 16 (the first 15 sucked)...My ADD is staring to act up so I'll add more when the grass kicks in..
Television:
...Cheese movies on Skinamax...Girls gone slightly nutty, but not to wild...re-runs of Different Strokes...(my Older bro was Sam). The Lifetime Channel...Silver Spoons... Small Wonder (3 words, "Teenage Female Robot")....Webster...Too Close for Comfort (says who?)...My Two Dads...Jonnie loves Chachie...Eight is Enough (even though it's not)...And last but not least anything on the UPN...
Books:
Killing Pablo, Black Hawk Down, anything by Elmore Leonard... Catcher in the Rye...Tv Guide...Resturaunt menues written in braile...kitchen soup for the lazy, video game addicted stoner...Masterbating for dummies...Courdory the bear...Penthouse Forum...Over 50...The back of shampoo bottles...Einstien's theory of relitivity...The Onion... The study of Red Ant migration and how it affects global warming
Heroes:
My buddy Hank....he is 33 years old, works 12 hrs a week, sits on his ass watching baseball untill Midnight then goes to a dive bar drinking till 4am...his mom cooks his meals and does his laundary, and he seems to get lazier by the day....Miss ya buddy!...(And I've had this on my page for 3 years, on his birthday I just change the age! Something NEVER change)...Miss ya buddy!!!
