Dan Jensen profile picture

Dan Jensen

More fun than a Commodore 64!

About Me

Myspace page of Dan Jensen, writer/director from the Gold Coast, Australia. Please stay and check out some of my short films while you're here.

MOVIE REVIEW: Okay, I'm totally drunk right now and have decided that this is a great time to catch up on the movie reviews I've been neglecting for the past few weeks.
DEFINITELY, MAYBE
I seem to recall liking this movie. Van Wilder was pretty good as always, but Isla Fisher was just smokin' hot. Ummmm... I don't really remember much about it, to be honest. I saw it a month ago. Crap. Maybe it wasn't as good as I thought since I can't even remember it. Was there a funny kid in it? No. That was another movie. It certainly wasn't a bad flick per se, since I do remember thinking "Hey, that wasn't a bad flick per se". Who the fuck says "per se" anyway? 7/10
SEMI-PRO
Dear God, this movie sucked. Seriously. I think I might have laughed twice in it. The 'Get Smart' trailer played before it, and that was about the best part of the movie. Will Ferrell is normally quite funny, but in this he was about as funny as pudding. Yeah, totally not funny. I couldn't wait for this fucking turd of a movie to end. The worst part was that I saw it with a pretty girl, but she's married so I couldn't even sit there staring at her boobs to pass the time. On second thought, I totally should have. I'm sure she would have understood, being that she was subjected to the same sadistic torture as me. We could have both stared at her boobs and discussed them at length. Would have been a billion times more entertaining than Semi-Pro. Ugh.
SUPERHERO MOVIE
Finally! They got it right! A return to the old days when spoof movies were good, this film was created by the people responsible for the 'Naked Gun' series and 'Flying High' (aka 'Airplane') as opposed to those other contemporary spoof movies that I won't even mention. I had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard. And the snail in the scene where the dude gets his powers is possibly going to go down as my favourite movie character of 2008. Those who have seen the movie will know what I mean. Let's just hope spoof movies continue being of this caliber from now on!
How the fuck did I manage to spell "contemporary" when I can barely see the screen?
FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL
Not bad at all. A little bit on the generic comedy side (as I felt I'd kinda seen most of it before) but the one thing that sets it apart from everything else is Mila Kunis. Jesus fucking Christ that girl is hot. She could well be the second most hottest female ever created. I would pay to sit and watch a movie where she just sits there looking at the camera for 90 minutes. Seriously, if you like female eye-candy then go see it. Now.
"THE HEATH LEDGER EXPERIENCE"
Movie World Halloween 2007 - I was Jason Voorhees
"NIGHT OF THE CIVIC DEAD" - 2nd place winner, national Civic Video Fish Philosophy short film competition. Make-up by Brett Wilson
"KAIGI" teaser trailer
"YOU WISH" - top 10 finalist, 2002 Short Cut Film Festival
"SPANKING MONKEY, HIDDEN FIST" - made as a Christmas present for the staff of Pizza Hut, Miami, 2003.
"CORROSION" - entry into the Brisbane International Film Festival Fast Film competition

My Interests

Movies. Watching 'em. Making 'em. Being in 'em


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I'd like to meet:

Hot chicks who can spell.

Music:

HIM, Bloodhound Gang, SPOD, Electric Six, Faith No More, U2, Mr Bungle, Guns N' Roses, Skid Row, Dope, Insane Clown Posse, Poison, Motley Crue, Aerosmith, Turbonegro, Curve, Velvet Revolver, Linkin Park, Alanis Morissette, Revolting Cocks, Ministry, 2 Live Crew, Pantera, Cradle of Filth, Metallica up to and including the black album, Slayer, Iron Maiden, CKY, Garbage plus a shitload more

Movies:

Okay, so after much contemplation and deliberation I have narrowed down my top 5 movies of all time. Now, obviously not everyone's going to agree with my choices but I don't care. These are MY choices, and they're my favourite movies for various personal reasons. So, in no particular order my top 5 are...
THE CROW
CLERKS
SE7EN
INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE
LEGENDS OF THE FALL
I also love anything by the Pang brothers (The Eye trilogy, Ab-normal Beauty, Bangkok Dangerous), Kevin Smith, Eli Roth, Robert Rodriguez, Trey Parker, Steve Oedekerk, Savage Steve Holland & Quentin Tarantino. Serenity, the Star Wars saga, the Saw series, the Harry Potter saga, the Lord Of The Rings trilogy, The Matrix (only the first one - not the ass-sucking sequels), Event Horizon, The Mask, Transformers (2007), Pan's Labyrinth and pretty much any movie made in the 90's

Television:

Firefly, Smallville, Family Guy, Little Britain, Beavis & Butt-head, My Name Is Earl, Wildboyz, Black Books and Viva La Bam. As far as old school shows, Gilligan's Island, Get Smart, Rocky & Bullwinkle.

Books:

Ten Little Niggers (aka Ten Little Indians, aka And Then There Were None) by Agatha Christie. Hands down best fucking book ever written, and a dream project of mine to make into a decent film some day. Also Rebel Without A Crew by Robert Rodriguez, my filmmaking bible!

Heroes:

Rodriguez, Smith, Roth, Parker, Tarantino, Pangs, Gunn, Oedekerk, Nolan, Fincher, Carpenter, Romero, Holland, Miike, Lucas

My Blog

Taking little bitches to school

Here's one of these blogs that you all seem to appreciate, where instead of filling you all in on the happenings of my life lately I instead opt to rant about pathetic people who I wouldn't wipe my as...
Posted by Dan Jensen on Sun, 20 Apr 2008 07:58:00 PST

Casino Royale 14 / the band / Nathan Fillion!!!

'sup fools! I've missed you. Yes, you. CR14 Anyway, last night was the 14th Casino Royale, and the theme was famous dead people. Quite an odd assortment of characters were present - from serial killer...
Posted by Dan Jensen on Sat, 12 Apr 2008 06:37:00 PST

The punishment of nerds

Today I went with Brett, Rachael, Rinks and Sam to the Supanova convention in Brisbane. For those who aren’t aware what this is, it is basically the ultimate gathering of the ultimate nerds. Fat...
Posted by Dan Jensen on Sun, 06 Apr 2008 09:03:00 PST

Spoof movies

I’ve had this discussion with a lot of people on many occasions about why I fucking hate modern day spoof movies. You know; Epic Movie, Date Movie, Meet The Spartans - that kind of shit. I&rsquo...
Posted by Dan Jensen on Wed, 02 Apr 2008 07:41:00 PST

Casino Royale, HIM, and the new band!

Just like I said to your mum last night, "this is gonna be a long one". I have much to blog about. Last week went so fucking quickly and I’ve been so busy I’ve barely had time to scratch m...
Posted by Dan Jensen on Sun, 30 Mar 2008 09:17:00 PST

It never fucking rains...

Just when I had nothing worth blogging about, suddenly all sorts of shit’s happening and it’s awesome! First of all, thank you to everyone for the awesome feedback on The Heath Ledger Expe...
Posted by Dan Jensen on Tue, 18 Mar 2008 07:06:00 PST

The Top Secret Movie Project revealed!!!

’sup, bitches!I know some of you already know what the Top Secret Movie Project is, and a lucky few were present at the world premiere on Friday night before Casino Royale, but for those who are...
Posted by Dan Jensen on Sun, 16 Mar 2008 07:41:00 PST

The first Casino Royale I remember!

First of all, let me apologize for not blogging in a while. I’ve been rather busy and haven’t had much happen that’s been bloggable lately. At least nothing I care to share with you ...
Posted by Dan Jensen on Sat, 15 Mar 2008 06:24:00 PST

Casino Royale 11 - from Dan and Jean-Marc

Yo, it's Dan here. And I've never quite been this drunk in my entire life. Already I've corrected about 2000 typos. I literally can't stand up right now. After 3/4 of a bottle of Jagermeister, a JD &a...
Posted by Dan Jensen on Fri, 29 Feb 2008 07:34:00 PST

The Blood Anniversary teaser trailer is here!

I am seriously tired. I am in desperate need of sleep. But I'll be damned if I'm going to bed without giving you fuckers a present for being so good to me. Tonight, Brett, Rachael and I shot a teaser ...
Posted by Dan Jensen on Sat, 23 Feb 2008 07:35:00 PST